Referee Foy Seeking Legal Advice

In the light of Big Spam's post match comments, referee Chris Foy would be well advised to find a good lawyer quick! With Blackburn still teetering on the brink of the drop, Mr Foy and his assistants may well be in need of a Silk after controversial decisions "robbed" the Knockemblackandblueandburnem of two additional points.

Not one to criticise referees without good cause, Mr Allardyce raged, "We feel bitterly disappointed we have not got three points and in many ways that is our fault but it is also the fault of the referee's assistant and it is a hard one to take.

"We had two goals disallowed for offside but unfortunately the key area lies with the West Ham goal which nobody can argue is not offside - and we don't know why the referee has not given it as he was in such a good position"

"What can be done about it? Nothing. But I have to express my disapproval publicly because we are in a very difficult position and we can't afford to have major decisions going against us."

Now it is that last paragraph that would really worry me if I was Mr Foy. The use of that word "afford" suggests to me a pending compensation claim should Blackburn fall, unfairly, through the relegation trap door.

I am not a lawyer myself but I would recommend that on Monday Mr Foy put his house and everything he owns into the name of his wife; or maybe he could go for a canoe ride and show up under a Panama hat in a few years time; or perhaps he has £25 million set aside for just this eventuality. One thing is for sure, some Judge who went to a rugger school and has never been close to a fottball shirt (other than to lift it to gain entry) will offer an expert opinion that by allowing that goal, Mr Foy cost Blackburn the two points that ensured their relegation. And who knows, because we scored it, we will probably be held jointly liable.

By The Skin Of Our Teeth

That's an odd saying isn't it? Anyone know where it comes from? The tooth of a punch drunk boxer hanging on by a slither of skin perhaps, which would sum up our second half display quite nicely. Until Dyer appeared we couldn't get the ball out of our own half and pass after pass was misplaced as we tried to get the ball beyond that funny white mark that cuts through the centre circle. Did I miss something, was Samba picked as a striker and were Kovac and Parker playing in a back six? That's the way it appeared!

God only knows what happened at half time. Big Spam obviously laid into his players and told them to cut out anything fancy whatsoever. Just thump the ball into the box and chase after it. The keeper is dodgy under crosses so get it under his bar and CHARGE!!!!!!!!!!!! Quite what Zola said, I have no idea. He certainly didn't tell Di Michele to track back, or if he did he wasn't speaking the same language, which is ironic given they are both Italian. For once, Zola's tactical switches were intelligent but why did we have to wait until the 80th minute to see Dyer. Surely he could have managed twenty minutes in the circumstances?

What were the plusses? Neill and Tomkins were excellent given the pressure they were under. We are rightfully excited about Collison but it is beginning to look as if Tomkins could be just as good. Kovac did a stirling job defensively and had a hand in the goal. It was great to see Noble get on the scoring sheet - that will help his confidence enormously - and LBM buzzed around like a blue bottle on a summer's morning. The biggest plus, however, was the appearance of Dyer and the stunning turn of pace he showed when going down that left flank. It seems as if the bloke can at least run, and I was having my doubts about that! One burst of speed does not an international footballer make but, who knows, maybe, just maybe, just maybe, Dyer might play a part for us next season. Maybe.

One last major plus - Cole has served his suspension and will be back for the Sunderland game. All those mugs who have been questioning his right to be in the team must surely now see why he is such an important player for us. Cole may miss chances but at least we get chances when he is in the team!

Wouldn't it be great if...?

Wouldn't it be great if Curbishley were to issue the following statement? "I woke up this morning and was struck by this incredible thought, I'm the manager of West Ham United. Yes,that's right, West Ham United! I'm no longer the Charlton manager! I don't have to bore my way to crucial points, I can send the team out to attack, in the true West Ham style. I want to apologise to all you great fans for last season. Yes we had injuries, yes we were consolidating, but that is not a good enough excuse for abandoning the values of OUR great club. This club isn't just about survival, this team is about maintaining standards, about values, about a heritage based on Greenwood, Moore, Hurst and Peters. We won the World Cup for England and we will win the World Cup again, because we put the good of the game above our own petty need for points against cloggers like Blackburn. Thatcher? What was I thinking of? Barton? Ron Greenwood would turn in his grave. So I now give you all this pledge. I know I fell short as a player, I know I put myself before the club, I know I walked out on West Ham then and put personal glory ahead of this great club, but I am breaking with that past now, I don't want a team of Curbishleys, I want a team of Brookings and Devonshires, I want to attack, I want to play with a smile rather than a grimace, I want West Ham to be West Ham, and to hell with the consequences!"

We bear a charmed life (continued)

More Shakespearean slogans for football clubs (see below for the originals)

For Sunderland as Roy Keane starts to learn some hard truths about what a £20m transfer kitty will buy you: "There ’s small choice in rotten apples". (Taming of the Shrew)

For West Ham if Curbs wastes £18 million on Bent, "Oh I am Fortune's fool!" (Romeo and Juliet)

For Man City upon finding that their Thai Green Curry Abramovich has had his "assets frozen" (how painful does that sound?): "Nothing can come of nothing". (Lear to Cordelia) or "Oft expectation fails, and most oft there where most it promises." (Ironically "All's Well that Ends Well"; not a phrase oft associated with the blue half of Manchester!)

For Birmingham: "I have a kind of alacrity in sinking." (Merry Wives of Windsor)

For Reading as they enter the second "difficult season" having hoped themselves out of Europe this year: "Be not afraid of greatness" (Twelfth Night)

For Blackburn: "All the infections that the sun sucks up from bogs, fens, flats, on Savage fall, and make him by inch-meal a disease" (The Tempest)

For Spurs and Arsenal jointly: "A plague o' both your houses!"