Kovac

I saw flashes on Sunday that suggested this guy can play with Parker. He isn't quite up to Prem speed yet but he has a physical presence that I think could intimidate opponents and release the other midfielders, Parker included, to break forward more. I counted twice that Parker ran beyond Cole on Sunday, actually trying to get on the end of the ball in the box. If Parker is to earn his massive salary he has to be more than a holding midfielder, he has to become a box to box player and offer us more going forward. There were glimpses against City that Kovac will release him to do this. Noble has been disappointing recently so I would like to see Zola persist with this pairing, teamed with the pace of Savio and Collison on the flanks.

I have also liked the way Di Michele has been linking play, filling up the midfield when we don't have possession and picking passes when we do. His turn and cross for Cole in the first half against City was pure class - and a more instinctive goal scorer would have either taken that on the volley or launched himself into a diving header. I'm not Beano's biggest fan because of his injury record and selfishness, but I think he would have scored that one, as he did against United at Old Trafford last season.

So, I suspect Kovac could be a key piece in Zola's jigsaw. If we ever get DumptyDyer and Beano Ashton fit, we could have a team to reckon with. And remember, Faubert will be back in the summer!

Parking the caravan at the cottage

Well what a surprise! We've arrived at the cottage and Turds has parked the bloody caravan! Real message of intent with the selection! Back to 4-5-1 and leave out the leading scorer. Presumably that confirms that Ashton is on his way. Not considered good enough for the mighty Fulham despite scoring against them at UP! Brilliant, just brilliant.

First half, exacty as expected. First thirty seconds, Upson lumps it into the waiting arms of Niemi! Then followed a competition for the worst pass of the season. Upson made his bid when he delivered a suicidal ball to Green. The Beatle entered the competition when he lumped a free kick from the half way over everybody's head for a goal kick but Noble took the laurel when he bisected two players on the touch line, all of five yards away, to give Fulham a throw! Good to see all that work on close passing in training has paid off Alan!

Cole is on fire! Well, by on fire I mean he has had three chances and failed to hit the target with any! Good to see all that work on his shooting has paid off Alan! He has also given away five free kicks so far. How many minutes into the second half before he ses yellow? LBM has been LBM. Classic bad choice with an attempted ball to Faubert. Risible header fom inside six yard box when unchallenged - clearly Nobby has been given responsibility for training "attacking headers"! The shoot on sight philosophy clearly isn't in play despite the lack of goals - Noble had the D all to himself but chose to pass to a Fulham defender instead!

Tony Gale looked at the line ups and said, "The two teams have been set up to negate each other." He then added, "Who dares wins"! Turds heard that as "Who dares might lose!" So the caravan is nicely parked, how about pulling out the awning Turds, then we can all sit down and have a nice cup of tea! 45 minutes of boring dross as per bloody usual!

Painting by numbers

Anybody else notice Mervyn "Slipped Through My Fingers" Day giving Noble his instructions b4 he came on as a substitute at Rovers? He must have flicked through twenty pages in the "tactical manual". Poor lad, Noble thought he was going on for a game of footy, instead he appeared to be receiving directions on how to drive from Mile End to Bristol without using any M or A roads! Noble nodded a lot but, to be honest, had a "What the fuck are you going on about?" look on his face. Pards was famously caught writing down the half time score in his notepad; the new management team seem to think everything can be reduced to painting by numbers!

Turds for Manager of the Month!

Time to write whilst feeling up beat!!!!

Clean sheet without Neill and a recognised left back! In control of the game! Noble dictating midfield! Bellyache and Diarrhea both pulled down in the box! Victory without Ashton, Parker and Yumberg! Europe here we come! Turds for manager of the month!

Looks like Birmingham, Sunderland and Derby are going to struggle. Bolton and Fulham will also challenge for the bottom three (as predicted b4 the season started). Wigan will struggle when the tougher fixtures arrive. What are we worrying about?

We're only making plans for Nigel

So Nigel Reo-Coker, you don't feel wanted at West Ham! How much have we been paying you each week? Were you ever dropped? Or played out of your favoured position? Were you stripped of the captaincy?

Well Nigel, you're right, you're not wanted! One goal all season? What sort of return is that from a central midfield player protected defensively first by Mullins and then by Noble? The truth is, NRC, you're a legend in your own mind and have been ever since Sven named you as a back up he never needed for the England World Cup Squad. So what Nigel? Sven took a 17 year old Arsenal reserve and very nearly took Harewood! Wake up, superstar you ain't and if any club is daft enough to offer 8 million, we should snatch their hand off!

Go to Villa or Newcastle and see what it's really like to play in an average team. Arsenal don't want you. Nor do Liverpool or Chelsea or United. Doesn't that tell you something Nigel? You're average mate and average is okay if your heart is in the club. Tevez can moan; Di Canio could moan; Nigel, you ain't got the ability to have the right to bleat.