You are all wrong says Allardyce! Sack him, Bring in Di Canio!

What a contemptible arrogant you know what! Read his article in The Standard and gasp!

Listen to the arrogance of the man! Why did Leeds ship seven against Nottingham Forest after we struggled to a 1-1 draw against them? Easy! "Leeds played so hard against us that, in their next game against Nottingham Forest, the tank was empty." So Forest didn't beat them WE did! Fcuk me, no wonder we only drew against Miserableboro, we were still up in Yorkshire smashing seven goals past Warnock's charges!


Not that we played badly against Boro! Oh no! Allardyce tells us, "the perception on Tuesday night was that we didn’t play well — in reality, we did. We did everything other than finish with a scoreline better than Middlesbrough’s." Well bugger me! We were all wrong then! Sam knows best! We scored the luckiest goal you will ever see - apart perhaps from the Piquionne goal against Coventry - and only came away with a 1-1 draw because of a goal line clearance in the final minute, but it was a good performance apparently! In fact, all of us idiots who THOUGHT we saw the ball being lumped forward just imagined it apparently. Sam tells us, "Against Middlesbrough the other night, we were accused of lumping the ball up. We didn’t, we comfortably out-passed them but once again, the long ball thing was brought up. It annoys me but I can’t let it get me down." No Sam, don't let it get you down mate, you are Sam Pot! You are our beloved leader! You have the stats!

And, just like in Animal Farm when Squealer reveals to the hungry animals that their food rations have in fact increased, Sam Pot knows the truth! Twenty goals scored from the last 17 games? Cobblers! Look at the number of times we have got the ball into the opposition box, that's what matters! Don't believe me? Then listen to our Most Beloved Leader! "None of the teams who we’ve played recently have played better than us. Not Crystal Palace, not Watford, not Doncaster, not Leeds and not Middlesbrough. What we have failed to do is deliver the final product." Now if that read "Not Arsenal, not Spurs, not Man City, not Liverpool and not Man Utd" I might swallow it. But to BOAST that we have not been outplayed by Palace, Donny and Watford...God give me bloody strength!

What an arrogant tosser he is. When he was first appointed I anointed him Sam Pot and warned he would take West Ham back to Year Zero, and reading his rant in The Evening Standard today there's all the self glorification, pomposity and infantile paranoia of a mad dictator. Just listen to him!

"As I’m often saying, I don’t live in the world of perception, I inhabit the world of reality...No one has more knowledge and data at this football club than me. That’s fact. It’s not arrogance but it is self-confidence and there is an important difference...I’m always learning, I never stop learning and that’s why I am confident. If I was arrogant I would be out of work now because I would have stopped listening in the misapprehension that I was already great.This approach can be misconstrued as self-praise yet when a foreign coach comes here and says he is the ‘Special One’, the reaction is very different."

Would you play for this arrogant, self congratulatory dolt? Would you respect him? How dare he compare himself to Mourinho? Jose has a win percentage of 70% over his career, Allardyce's record stands at 40%! Mourinho has six titles to his name, two Champions League titles, and a clutch of domestic cups; Allardyce has won a League of Ireland title! To be honest, he sounds like Gadaffi and Saddam in their final days. Before you know it, he will be telling everybody how much the people of Newham and Essex love him and setting West Ham up for the Mother of All Battles! What an arse!

But it gets worse! He goes on to explain: "We had a young chap in recently to talk to the players. He was a soldier in Afghanistan and lost the use of his arm after being shot. He emphasised that, if they don’t get their basics right out there, they could be dead." You what? Presumably the war hero in question was referring to his comrades, but Allardyce, in his twisted way, makes it sound like he is talking about the players, as if there are snipers up in the stands about to pick off Captain Nolan, Corporal Noble and Private Matty Taylor. The contemptible bastard doesn't even remember the name of the "young chap". Why should he? He was only there to do a job for Allardyce, not to be remembered by name! What a disrespectful arse.

I haven't called for Allardyce to be sacked before but the Standard article is the final straw for me. The guy has his head jammed up his own arse and thinks the smell of his own shit is divine. I have taken to writing Allardyce spoof interviews after games but I haven't even come close to touching on this buffoon's blind arrogance! There are suggestions of insanity here - a persecution complex mixed with a sense of self grandeur which is out of all proportion to his actual ability and achievements. If I was David Gold, I would read the article with deep concern. Allardyce isn't going to change. He even claims he hasn't been playing with a lone striker because, "The reality is that I usually play three up, not one." I bet Cole and Maynard were scratching their heads as they read that!

Incredible. Amazing. Frightening. Go get Di Canio:at least he just admires dictators, he doesn't think he is one!