Sunday 13 October 2013

Allardyce shows the world of football how to play the game!

Ok, it was only one game and ok he only employed the tactic because Carroll was injured and we don't have another striker worthy of the name, but that's not stopped the English Jose from claiming that his 4-6-0 formation has changed the game! The silly old sod genuinely seems to believe that the "false number 9" tactic was his own invention, crystallised in his own mighty footballing brain, fashioned on the West Ham training ground, and executed for the very first time as West Ham wiped the floor with Tottenham.

Now, it might be a little rude to mention Spain and Barcelona as Allardyce waxes lyrical about his own tactical brilliance, so perhaps we shouldn't at this stage.

And it might be cruel to pour a little cold water on Sam's ego by pointing out that the tactic only worked brilliantly for 13 minutes of the game - during which time all three goals were scored.

And it might be deemed wicked to say that one of the three goals came via a centre back at a set piece, a more traditional Allardyce approach to the game.

It would also be very unfair to mention the opening two minutes of the second half when Spurs ripped us to shreds twice. Had Defoe netted when clean through, you can bet your life that Petric would have been on the pitch before Spurs had the chance to score a second and move out of sight. Except he might not have had time to get stripped off before that second goal went in!

Based on the first 45 minutes, what was there to suggest that we would score three goals? Nolan had a great chance, but from a set piece. And Nolan had a half chance, from a header following a very traditional looking cross. Does anybody remember a brilliant diagonal pass releasing Vaz Te to run in unchallenged on the keeper? Or of Morrison running at the heart of the Spurs defence, released by the "false number 9" Diame? I can't! Nope, the first 45 was all about closing, chasing and harrying - pretty much like the tactics employed at Southampton and Newcastle, but without the liability that is Maiga! And, let's not forget that the half finished 0-0 and I can't recall a shot on target!

So what really beat Spurs? A corner. Reid got his head to it and thumped home the rebound off of Nolan. And then Spurs panicked. They threw too many men forward. They left themselves vulnerable at the back. Then Noble played a brilliant pass and Vaz Te got lucky. And Morrison came over all Ravel and justified his hype.

I don't want to prick Allardyce's bubble, but he really does need to get a sense of perspective. He remains Allardyce, not Alliadiche, and had Carroll been fit, we would not have seen that formation in a million years.

I was awoken at 4.30 am last Sunday morning with my bed swaying  up and down as if I was aboard a ship in a swell. I thought the scientists were right, that it had been caused by an earthquake registering 4.6 on the Richter Scale,  but it seems I was simply feeling the tremors radiating out from Allardyce's tactical brain, warning of the "Big One" that would hit later that day as Big Sam released the earthquake that would change the game of football for ever.

Well until Petric or Andy Carroll are fit, anyway!


17 comments:

whitearmy said...

Mcdermott will do better than that.he will play a formation of elleven up front to play birmingham.

Anonymous said...

Bum Nudger.. Why is this on NNLU.

Anonymous said...

Carrol is a nag not a striker.

evan evans said...

The next 1000 people that jump on and say this post is shit or what ever negative crap they wish to splurt out should take them selves of the the Edinburgh comedy festival and hang themselves.

This is funny shit.

A light hearted post that makes you laugh if you can only detach yourself from the life and death situation that is the final score each game.
lighten up you muppets and enjoy a little sarcastic post from someone that doesn't see our club as the be all and end all.

another laughable post thanks

Anonymous said...

Get a life

Anonymous said...

what are you on about, youve lost the plot cockney boy.

Anonymous said...

West Ham are still going to be relegated.
This freak result will be the high point of their season
Wake up H F. Reveling in the glory of this result ad-nausiam is started to look a little desperate

Anonymous said...

how very boring,leeds in the title to get a few hits.gay bastard

Anonymous said...

STUPID MAN

Anonymous said...

10:22 is HF posting under another pseudonym

Anonymous said...

One results doesn;t make a season, dickhead!

Anonymous said...

Another laughable comment! Jog on sad sack!

Anonymous said...

Y is this on news now Leeds united?

Anonymous said...

As a leeds fan I want to slate you...but fair play 3-0 at spurs is a fantastic result! If we played 6-4-0 and won at a top 4 club I'd be delighted.... Keep up with the laughs !!

Anonymous said...

why did u change the title?strange man

40% said...

evan evans said...another laughable post thanks..........what about the post when he mocked Paul Madeley or the post when he mocked a young rape victim just for what he thinks is a laugh.

40% said...

you put this on the wrong site....again.....can you not get anything right......maybe you are just so happy because know of your family had to die this week in order for you to miss yet another match......so rar rar.