Let's face it, whatever team Allardyce selects, we will be using a false number nine at Swansea. Analysts went way over the top after our win at Spurs, hailing the self proclaimed tactical guru for his genius in unveiling his new "False Number 9" formation, failing to understand that Alliadichi had been employing the same tactic since the start of the season.
Be honest, you couldn't find a more "False Number 9" than Mogadon Maiga could you? In fact, the guy is a "False Footballer" based on everything I have seen so far. Brainless. Clueless. Gutless. Passionless. The big difference at White Hart Lane is that we started the game with 11 players on the pitch instead of the 10-players-plus-Mogadon formation employed by Allardyce up until that game.
Now, it seems, Carlton Cole may start. It is true that Carlton, unlike Mogadon, has a presence but he has been a "False Number 9" all his career, being a striker with an allergy to the back of the net! Carlton is an excellent footballer, just as long as he has his back to the goal. However, show him those terrifying white posts with that dizzying crossbar connecting them and the nauseous inducing netting behind, and the poor guy loses the ability to control his body: his eyes glaze over, his head spins and his legs turn to jelly.
And the final option, Petric, hasn't scored a goal since Christmas.
Poor Laudrup must have been having sleeping nights ever since that 4-0 thumping of Blunderland!