Wednesday 15 July 2009

A Bellyache in Sunderland? It will end in tears.

According to the Daily Mail, Steve Bruce is now targeting that much traveled and much loved striking superstar Craig "Period Pains" Bellyache. Not content with splashing out on Fizzy Pop bound Frazier Campbell, it seems that the devout Geordie is determined to add another dud to his team of tunnelers as he secretly plots the Great Escape of Blunderland from the tortures of the Premiership to the comfort zone of their true homeland, the Championship.

How else could you explain a move for Period Pains? Our old favourite will cost in the region of £10m and will spend two thirds of the season injured. When he does play, he will score one goal per three games maximum and collect yellow cards at a rate of two in three. Meanwhile, he will disaffect the dressing room in a flash. Steve Bruce cannot handle players with big egos and I predict that his relationship with Bellyache would not last beyond the first two months of the season. Come January he would be on his way again, probably to Tottenham.

The Blunderland fans who have responded to this blog seem imbued with a peculiar optimism which, I suppose, is a firewall necessary after so many years of misery on Wearyside. But surely there must be doubts about Bruce? Look what happened at Birmingham and Palace and, as a Geordie, he didn't harbour a deep seated antipathy for those two clubs did he?

I am now picturing Sunderland as the Pequod and Bruce as Captain Ahab. Bellyache would be the Fedellah, the arrival of whom would signal the beginning of the end. What's that I hear on Wearyside? "Lar she blows!"

Still, stay positive guys, there's always a derby game with Newscastle to look forward to the season after next!

10 comments:

Stuart said...

With regard to Bellamy you're right - a complete waste of space and not a team player wouldn't want him at Sunderland. As for the rest of the crap you are spouting why don't you focus on your own team instead of worrying about how other clubs are doing. "Blunderland" is neither funny nor respectful of another club with a proud history - which incidently has achieved more in it's history than West Ham. You've obviously got an issue with my team which is affecting your ability to be objective, humorous or even accurate.

Anonymous said...

So Intresting how a team like Sunderland (With 6 Top Division titles) belong in the championship but West Ham with NONE don't. West Ham is nothing more than feeder club to the rest of the premier league.

Jon Olsen said...

childish, thats about it really.

Anonymous said...

you should stick to blowing bubbles

Anonymous said...

I did'nt even know the hammers had a fan.
a rare animal get him put in a zoo

Anonymous said...

Dontcha just luv Weast Ammmm?Not content with winning us the world cup in err, 66 wasnt it?, being every granny's favourite 2nd team, again because of the boy Moore and being famous for singing songs about un natural practices with Michael Jacksons pet, they are also very very funny!
Course they are also famous for finding hugely talented young footballers who skidadle asap when any big(ger) clubs (cant be bothered to list the 4 in Laandon, 2 in Manchester, Liverpool, or any of the others) come calling. Anyway back to the matter in hand. Please stick to your own sides problems mate and leave us alone ok? You certainly aint big and you certainly aint funny.

Anonymous said...

Newscastle?

How can anyone take a post seriously when the author is too thick to even get his own team's name right?

Anonymous said...

Talk about people being jealous of City. There is a Green river running through mid-table evident in this article and similar efforts by Hammers fans. Sunderland are a team on the rise and everyone can see from our facilities, stadium, fan base, chairman, owner and new signings. Wouldn't you love Crouch? I think it's clear you would. Get over it and prepare yourselves for the plunge to join our North-East neighbours!!

Hammersfan said...

Stuart, I have a real soft spot for Sunderland actually. Your guys let us take all six points last season and I am old enough (just) to remember our 8-0 tonking of you. Hurst scored 6 and I think Moore and Brooking got on the score sheet too. Now, name me three Sunderland greats to compare with those Hammers!

To those who are bleating about Sunderland's history, perhaps you should move to Lithuania. You may not know but, way back in the past, they used to be a European super power, dominating most of North Eastern Europe. When did Sunderland last win anything? 1971 and that epic Ian Porterfield and Jim Montgomery triumph over Leeds wasn't it? Kerr, Watson, Tueart - struggling to remember the others but it was a great great great day and one I will never forget.

Why Blunderland? Look at your recent history! Look at the decision to recruit Keane and then buy up the Irish national squads. How much did you pay for your Scottish keeper? I mean, a SCOTTISH keeper! And you don't think Blunderland is an appropriate nickname?

1042, what on earth gave you the idea that I support Newscastle? The spelling is deliberate - they are always in the news, thus a castle of news or Newscastle. Over your head obviously!

Anonymous said...

Hammersfan... "Bleating on about Sunderlands history & Moving to Lithuania" Sorry, but Hurst, Moore, and Brooking, were, what, players out of last years youth team? Get a grip you numpty. If they were todays youth, you would have to make the most of them cos next year they'd be at a big club(see earlier post)