Ok, could you combine two more ridiculous statements in one headline without resorting to "Michael Gove saves British Education System as Nick Clegg's Lib Dems rocket ahead in the polls?", but it seems we have moved in to a truly parallel universe, where having played for Bolton doesn't guarantee you a place in the West Ham starting eleven, and being a lazy, sulky French tosser doesn't preclude a start!
Speaking after Diarra's injury ruled him out for the entire season, Allardyce waxed lyrical about how he was going to be a huge loss; so huge that we happily sent him out on loan last season! The big question is, with his wages presumably covered by an insurance policy, are we now at liberty to go out and sign a replacement? Or a striker perhaps? It must be said that, Allardyce apart, few will be lamenting the sidelining of a player who looked as if he was carrying a cruciate ligament injury even when supposedly fully fit. If Faubert was a TGV, this guy is the Glacier Express!
Even more remarkably, Allardyce warned Nolan that with Morrison playing out of his skin, the traditional first name on the team sheet may be under pressure for his place! True, the warning went out to Noble and Diame too, but Morrison is much more suited to Nolan's role, as his scoring record shows, than to the engine room of the team occupied by Mo and Mark, our very own Eminem.
God, if Allardyce drops Nolan and sells Vaz Te and Taylor, he really will be clearing out his Bolton closet!