Friday 9 August 2013

Will West Ham consider a name change as well as a change of stadium?

Exciting developments at Hull, with the club moving with the times and changing their name to improve branding opportunities. Bored by old fashioned Hull City, Egyptian owner Assem Allam has decided to incorporate the club's nickname into the official title of the club. No doubt the City will be dropped altogether in due course, and Hull will become Hull Tigers or simply, The Tigers.

Wolverhampton Wanderers led the way some time ago, of course, with their name readily abbreviating to The Wolves and Tottenham are known as The Spurs. For some clubs, this new trend will be very simple to adopt. Should the Dildo Brothers adopt West Hammers, it may upset the purists, but The Hammers versus The Tigers has a feisty ring about it for the Sky marketing boys. Arsenal Gunners also works easily of course. Southampton Saints is another good one and the Glasgow clubs already operate as Rangers and Celtic.

However, for some clubs, the nickname doesn't have the right ring about it. Leeds Whites may be deemed racist or cowardly. Leicester Foxes has a mangy sound about it. Liverpool Reds works, I suppose, but isn't very exciting and other clubs might argue they have as much right to the name. Everton Toffees doesn't sound terribly imposing, does it? And Newcastle Toons sounds a bit too Looney Tunes even for a club that has a slapstick feel about it 99% of the time. As a contributor says below, the real nickname is The Magpies, and that could work I suppose but it doesn't really sound aggressive does it?

So what names might clubs adopt into the future? Leeds Cloggers works for me or the club could go the whole hog and opt for either Damned or Bastard United. Liverpool Cheats has a nice ring about it, given the commitment to retaining Suarez and the number of benefit claimants residing in the city.

How about Leicester? Well given the car park excavations, maybe the Leicester Hunchbacks could work. The Newcastle Barcodes also works, given all the players have a price under Ashley, or maybe the Newcastle Frogs would be more suitable given the composition of the squad and the way the team croaks every time they get a sniff of a trophy. Millwall? How about The Scum?

Any other suggestions? 

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

what a waste of time that read was!!

Arthur Dearing said...

As I am now a Hull City Tigers fan I am quite happy with the name, it is Grrrreat.
West Ham obviously should be West Ham Bubbles, as they keep rising up and then the bubble always bursts.
Leeds were going to have an ice hockey team called the Leeds Lazers, I think the football team should be Leeds Losers. (I'm a Hull fan living in Leeds)
Brighton and Hove Albion is way too long, please rebrand to Brighton Elderly.
Reading should become Reading Books to give a clue what you should be doing when you go to watch them.

Anonymous said...

how about Sheffield Thieving C##TS

Dunlopilo said...

One of the funniest articles I have read in quite some time, I must confess..... Still laughing as I Write...

Hammersfan said...

LOL 1803, but I think we could leave out the word thieving and still sum the club up perfectly!

Cheers Dunlopilo.

Hammersfan said...

1638, Reading Books is brilliant!

Elf72 said...

Tottenham Cockerills could be abbreviated appropriately. How about the Arse Wipes?

Elf72 said...

Tottenham Cockerills could be abbreviated appropriately. How about the Arse Wipes?

Elf72 said...

Tottenham Cockerills could be abbreviated appropriately. How about the Arse Wipes?

Anonymous said...

How about West Ham 1966 yes we won the World Cup Fc

spyinthesky said...

This has to be the very first football blog post that was worth the effort. Brilliant writing and an article that really deserves to be featured in the National press as great light entertainment for the start of the season.

Better still it could be featured in the match programme for when we play Cheltenham Ladies.