Monday, 16 September 2013

How brainless is Maiga?

Right on cue, Captain Kev has made a statement in support of West Ham's strikers and Maiga in particular. Nolan insists Maiga can and will score but Nolan is missing the point, just as Maiga misses the target. It's not the guy's ability that's the problem, it's his footballing intelligence. When it comes to understanding the nuances of the game, the guy is literally brainless.

Just watch his movement, or rather lack of movement, when he doesn't have the ball. There was one really telling moment shortly before he was taken off against Southampton.

Noble was in possession on the half way line and was desperately looking for the opportunity to play the ball forward. He looked up and Maiga was absolutely static with a Southampton defender up his backside. Noble waited and waited. Would Maiga spin and run, making either the ball over the top or down the channel possible, or would he drop deep, setting up a one two?

The answer was neither. He stood still. So poor Noble told him what to do, inviting him to drop into the space by beckoning him forwards, before playing the pass. Maiga responded, but the defender came with him, inevitably given Noble's frustrated hand gesture, and Maiga promptly made a hash of receiving the pass, played directly to his feet, and allowed the ball to bounce off his legs to the feet of an opponent - and suddenly we were back peddling as Southampton poured forward. Hopeless!

Did Maiga win one header all game? Yes. But he back headed it straight to a Southampton defender with no West Ham player goal side of him. Did he have a single shot on target? No. Did he have one authentic shot off target? No, his only attempt ballooned off his leg with his body shape all over the shop. Did he once run a channel? Nope. Did he drop deep to link the play? Nope. Did he attempt to stretch the Southampton defence by running beyond their back line? Nope.  Did he do anything? No. Well actually, that's not fair.

There was one classic moment that showed how incompetent this guy is. Remember when Southampton hit the post? Well Maiga was guarding that post and failed to jump as the ball passed over his head. Fair enough, it was traveling at quite a lick, but it is what happened afterwards that is the concern. The ball rebounded into play and pinged around our penalty box; and what did Maiga do? He actually stepped outside the post, leaving the goal unguarded and screened the fans behind the goal should a Southampton player strike his shot wide.

Now that was truly brainless!


AJ said...

It is obvious the fella has never played professional football in his life before. I think George Graham signed someone similar once.

Stani said...

He was pretty poor but I dont think our tactics help him. The fact he knows how we have to play compounds the problem and you can just see him play in a frustrating and resigned manner. RVT looked just as ineffective when he came on.

We have set up for Carroll, and no matter who plays, there is no alternative way of playing or plan B. Very dangerous.

Oh, and we'd wish you watched Noble's game as close as you watched Maiga's!

Anonymous said...

Don't worry, you might get king Carlton back yet!! And when the pit pony Mandy Carol does ever get his rotten hooves sorted he and king carlton will have you on the feel good factor express steaming all the way to Europe surely!

Anonymous said...

we can see it why cant fat sam

Anonymous said...

if we can see it why cant fat sam

Hammersfan said...

I did Stani. Who set up the Collins chance? Our best move and pass of the game, without question. Who harried and chased and closed down all afternoon. Tell me, what is a playmaker meant to do when there is absolutely no movement ahead of him. Time and again Noble turned this way and that, trying to evade Southampton players closing him down, and time and again he looked up and saw absolutely nobody moving for the ball.

You defend Maiga but tell me, why doesn't he move into the channels as Cole did? Why doesn't he drop deep? Why doesn't he even try to spin to run beyond the defender? And why doesn't he even try to get on the end of corners (not taken by Noble) or free kicks? Inept isn't the word for him. Brainless is.

Anonymous said...

Well according to you Maiga was "literally brainless"
So is he some kind of robot? or controlled remotely?
No, maybe he is just as good a footballer as you are a writer.

Hammersfan said...

You sir are brainless! You need to read the sentence before where I refer to football intelligence. And yes, he has none, so he is literally brainless.

Anonymous said...

It's your use of the word "literally"
You may wish to look it up.
As I said, maybe Maiga is as bad at football as you are at writing.
He of course has had to move country, learn a new language, settle his family and put up with brainless (not literally of course, that's impossible)morons spouting abuse at him all game,
That's a fair excuse for the young man, what's yours?

Anonymous said...

You would happily smoke noble's cock wouldn't u! He is firmly cemented in your wank bank isn't he! He is ok but average for a mid in the prem!

Oxfordhammer said...

Personally I am sick of the so called supporters who continually slag Noble. Some of you just don't like the guy, so it makes no difference how he plays, your still gunna spout your rubbish.
The man worked his balls off, and without our keepers heroics, for me, he would of clearly been our best player, also anyone with half a brain could see Maiga was out of his depth, its not his fault, its down to the clown who said pay 5M for this guy.

Hibs Hammer said...

The use of the word literally is quite amusing from a supposed professional writer. reminds me of Ulrika Johnsson discussing child contact in Sweden when she stated that "they literally cut the children in half when deciding on child custody". Any hoo, No plan B for BFS when Carroll is injured, play some balls on the floor for Maiga and see if he can do any better than he has been, the balls Tony Cottee used to get back in the day. Then I can judge him.

Anonymous said...

Do you not have any pretty good youth attackers you can draft in?

Anonymous said...

i don't think he's brainless at all. He's getting paid a decent wage for not doing much - genius.

UKJohhny said...

Dear Anonymous (whoever you are).

Perhaps it is you that should "look it up". A century ago "literally" may have been taken as meaning "actually" but in today's modern English it is more commonly used to mean "virtually" or "acting as such".

In any event, maybe you should look up "brainless" which invariably means "mentally weak; foolish; witless; stupid". I don't believe it is ever used "literally" to mean "without a brain".

I think most of us - with decent knowledge of the English language - recognize the term "literally brainless" to mean something like "acting witless or stupid" as opposed to being "actually without a brain".

Perhaps, instead of wasting your intellectual genius being "picky" - don't look it up - in a football blog, you should concentrate more on the subject matter of the blog.

Anonymous said...

It's only commonly used to mean "virtually" because it is mis-used by lazy and incompetent writers.
I was merely pointing out that people in all professions get it wrong sometimes, Maiga isn't a bad footballer, he's an international for christ sake.
I was simply comparing the efforts of a young footballer trying to adjust to new surroundings with a writer who critices him yet makes mistakes himself.
Everyone makes mistakes, footballers, writers, everyone, why is it OK to slag off one lot but not the other?

Hammersfan said...

He's been at the club for more than a year for pity's sake!

Anonymous said...

And how many goals do you think Van Persie scored in his first year?
It was 5, he repeated that number the following year too, in fact it wasn't until his SEVENTH year that he scored more than 15.
Fortunately he wasn't with us or else he'd have been hounded out of the club by the same morons who expect instant success.
Give the lad a chance, try SUPPORTING the team for a change.

Oxfordhammer said...

Iv only just started using this site. Is this what its about, correcting peoples use of words. Pathetic, Pathetic, . What the F..k does that mean. I thought we were supposed to discuss the situation at the club we all love, and as for the site controller allowing the Anonymous post concerning someone smoking Nobles parts, no wonder you haven't the balls to put a name to the post, your a moron, so is the controller for allowing a twat like you to post. Im off to a proper West Ham forum.

Anonymous said...

Didums!! U will be sadly missed Oxford spam dangler! Not!! jog along, shame the writer of the blog doesn't do the same!

Johnsey said...

In fairness to Anonymous (whoever he is) I think he was pointing out the similarity between the football abilities of Maiga and the writing abilities of the author.
Stating, correctly in my view, that we all make mistakes.

Oxfordhammer said...

I assume the Didums post was from the same COWARD that posted about Nobles parts. Your a total wanker, pity we cant meet up, but then again you'd back out, it annoys me that we have such supports as you. Please let me know if your ever my way scum.

fred149 said...

ANON 19:58, you cannt be seriously comparing RVP to Maiga. RVP was brought to arsenal when he was young and got constantly injured but always had potential to be world class. Maiga is a pile of shit, he has been given his chance now, and hes failed again, he has no brain as HF pointed out. A good striker when not scoring will do something else, e.g before carroll finally scored for us at least he was almost always invovled with any goals we scored.