Sunday, 29 September 2013

Look at the important stats you idiot Allardyce!

Listen to him! What an idiotic twat. It was the referee's fault. Well it always is when we lose according to Allardyce, but this time he does have a point.

It was the players' fault. We created chances and when you create chances you should score goals. It's like a deformed handicapped ugly dwarf with puss weeping pimples wandering into a party full of beautiful women. The beautiful women are there, so he should score. Obviously.

Read the stats from yesterday's game and it looks like Allardyce has a point. We had 18 shots in the game apparently, twice as many as Hull, and got five on target. Ergo, we wasted chances. But did we really? Apart from the Tomkins header, which beat the keeper and found a defender on the line, I can remember two clear cut chances. Diame made a complete hash of his chance, air kicking a brilliant pulled back cross from Rat. And Rat himself fired wide after controlling the ball superbly on his chest before shooting like a Romanian defender.

So where does a shot count of 18 come from exactly? Well Vaz Te had that overhead kick. It would have been a brilliant goal but he was forced into attempting the incredible by a poor cross in the first place. Then there was the Vaz Te free kick which cleared the bar. Well, Diamante apart, we have complained for years that we have nobody in the team able to capitalise from these sorts of opportunities but what has Allardyce done to address the issue? Then there was Noble's shot from outside the box. But tell me, how many goals has Noble scored from open play over the last four years? You have enough fingers on one hand to count!

Then there was that Maiga shot, of course. But he was too far out, too wide of the goal and under too much pressure to stand any realistic chance of scoring. Had we started with two players up top, Maiga would have had the option of crossing, and one of the two defenders snapping at his heels would have been otherwise engaged. But Allardyce only plays with one up top and yesterday started with Diame and Jarvis wide, neither of whom are noted for their goal scoring acumen.

And apart from those efforts? Well the rest were snatched at half chances, feeble headers from poor crosses or speculative attempts from unrealistic positions.

Well Allardyce is a stats man, so let's look at the stats shall we? The Premiership goal scoring record of the ten outfield players that started yesterday's game reads as follows:

O'Brien - 2 goals from 87 games.
Rat - 0 goals from 2 games.
Tomkins - 3 goals from 86 games.
Reid - 1 goal from 48 games
Noble - 19 goals from 161 games (including 12 penalties)
Nolan - 62 goals from 342 games
Jarvis -17 goals from 145 games
Diame - 8 goals from 135 games
Morrison - 1 goal from 4 games
Maiga - 2 goals from 22 games

Now do the sums. Even allowing for the potential statistical anomaly of Morrison, who needs to score 9 goals a season to maintain his present ratio, this team has scored a combined total of 115 goals from 1032 games! Take out Nolan's stats, and many want Nolan out of the team, and the figures make truly terrifying reading, with just 53 goals scored from 690 games. Take out Noble's penalties and that becomes 41 goals from 690 games!

Now if Allardyce cannot understand why this team is not scoring goals after reading those statistics, he truly is an arse! And that is before we take into account his 4-5-1, safety first tactics!

It's an unfortunate given of the game  that you cannot win a match if you do not score, so how exactly does Allardyce expect to win enough games to survive in the Prem with a team that has such an appalling goal scoring return? It's not the number of shots that matters, it's who the chances are falling to, as Collins, Rat, Maiga and Diame have illustrated in recent games.

Of course, add Joe Cole and Stewart Downing to the team and the picture improves, but the problem still remains that without a goal scoring striker, the net return will still be insufficient to average a point a game.

And here's another terrifying stat - Jarvis didn't assist a single goal in the Prem last season! Yes he got in lots of crosses, but none of those crosses led directly to a goal. And he is supposedly one of our most effective attacking weapons!

Yesterday, we played for a draw at Hull City. The team was set up to keep what we had at the start of the match and, yet again, the tactic seemed to be to keep a clean sheet and hope that we could pinch a goal. Fair enough at Newcastle and Southampton perhaps, but against Hull City? Dear God, they had Faye at centre back! He was old and slow in the Championship two years ago but he was able to keep pace with Nolan and Maiga yesterday, despite having only just returned from injury. That is terrifying!

So, why are we struggling and why will we continue to struggle? Because of the personnel that Allardyce has recruited and the tactics he is employing. It's not Kevin Friend's fault. It's not the players' fault because they can only do what they can do, it's Allardyce's fault, and he needs to find a Plan B fast or we will go down.

Take those vital stats and shove them up your big fat gormless arse Allardyce!

28 comments:

Anonymous said...

yep your right, we are in big problems and most of us could see it along time ago apart from bfs

Anonymous said...

Yes the stats are alarming to say the least, but lets look at the overall picture; if we are to go into the Olympic stadium as a Premiership club and attract the crowds, top quality players and potential extra financial backers, then we need to be playing the game of Soccer and not the type of one dimensional tripe that Alardyce preaches. I wont be going back until he's gone!

Craig said...

I blame Allardyce and Nolan. Allardyce for playing him and Nolan for not conceding that he is shit. Look how much better Maiga played with Morrison in the attacking midfield position. Nolan is simply not good enough to play football in any division anymore, is lazy, and has no creative bone in his mouthy body. We will go down with that fat cunt at the helm.

Anonymous said...

I cannot disagree with anything you have said there!

redhouse said...

Championship here we come with Palace and Fulham....Hat trick for London. Olympic Stadium? I don't think so...
No idea. No strikers. No confidence. No Leaders...Worrying time ahead.

jim said...

yeah plan b or we will go down all clubs are getting past this fair play crap bfs is a puppet for the dildo brothers who need to spend some dough

Law said...

I don't agree with a lot of your posts but on this you are very accurate.

Anonymous said...

Before the season started I was amazed at those who were saying we were in for a good season. I made a comment elsewhere saying that I hoped I would be proved wrong, but I thought we would finish in the bottom five ! I must be clear to all but the most feeble minded that we were short of a goalscorer ( ie someone who knew what the purpose of the posts and netting at each end of the pitch are for!) Instead we relied on an injury prone Carroll not getting injured, and buying Downey and a couple of fringe players hence making us unable to get a striker under the new financial rules. Even if we could have got one, they were not interested in coming as Allardyce only wanted they as a back up for Carroll ! What a mess !

Anonymous said...

It wouldn't be so bad if we had a manager who was willing to change tactics, admit he was wrong and maybe experiment with attacking opptions, but he just sticks to the same old plan hoping it will come good. The only way out of this is a change of manager, its who's available.

Anonymous said...

if you are going to have a go at someone at least get your own facts right. 1032 appearances not games. unless i wrong there are 10 outfield players in a team so this in fact 115 goals in 103 games games not spectacular but not anywhere near as bad as your trying to make it look.yesterday 10 outfield players played they all get 1 appearance each making 10 but only 1 game not 10. looks like you are the idiot.

Anonymous said...

The manager and the board need to go they all knew that we needed strikers and we got no one and the way we are playing championship here we come and I will not be re newing my season ticket to line there pockets lets hope a Russian comes and buys the club and spends spends spends

Anonymous said...

Top of the table seat prices bottom of the table owners

Hammersfan said...

LOL 1602, of course I understand that! But even if we take that into account, look at the stats without Nolan's goals and Noble's penalties! Do the sums, it spells relegation!

Anonymous said...

when you are struggling for goals and you continue to play the clueless maiga what do you expect seriously Nolan has had his day so has noble time to inject new blood don't you think how about eliott lee 4 goals ok for the reserves but maiga would not score 4 goals on an empty pitch your jobs on line sort it out or fuck off!

Andy Brown said...

do you want us to gpo down allardyce? bloody seems like it you have a lad on the bench eliot lee he scores 4 goals ok its the reserves but hes a natural finisher for god sake but oh no you would rather play maiga who could not score 4 goals on an empty pitch and as for golden boy Nolan dear god man are you blind resighn you moron!

Sav said...

You are obviously right about the stats. But do we really need stats to see that we are pathetic in attack? And it is not just the lack of goal scorers. It is also that we can't create real chances going forward. Even when we pass the ball we end up crossing it into the box and hope... This is not good enough in the Premiership. It is not good enough for what West Ham stands for. It is not good enough for the loyal and passionate fans.

If we have to be relegated, I for one, like to see us play some football first. Not like this!

The Shak said...

Really scary stats there, HF. Both the manager and the players are to be blamed. BFS doesn't have a Plan B whatsoever. When Petric got on replacing Maiga, we still threw long balls at him and obviously he wasn't going to win any aerial challenge. I think his pace, position and technique is much better than Maiga but the problem is that we're not really playing on the floor. I'm personally happy with RaĊ£, he is a natural left back, goes forward and support the players. I think he's better than Linda or O'Brien at left/wing back. Jarvis is very, very disappointing. For that sum of money we paid for him, I would expect a million times better! Not only he doesn't get assists, but his crossing is poor! Vaz Te, when he got in, his crossing was better than Jarvis. Also, the latter has a very bad habit of running to the corner spot all the time, instead of trying to take on his man and go for goal. I am not sure if BFS has instructed him to do so, but clearly that isn't working. For the next game, I'd rather have Downing and Vaz Te on the wings rather than Jarvis and Diame. I am not sure if we are going to rest Ravel vs Spurs. At the end of the day, I wouldn't believe my f'n eyeholes if Maiga starts once again. I'd rather have Adrian the keeper as a center forward!!!
I hope someday BFS shuffles the pack and use Joe Cole behind the striker, instead of Nolan. I'm sure it will make a huge difference. Everyone sees it except for BFS. Well, Nolan played for Bolton afterall, right?!

Anonymous said...

It's like a deformed handicapped ugly dwarf with puss weeping pimples wandering into a party full of beautiful women.

what a strange man you are

Anonymous said...

get off your sofa and come to a game and then we can talk!

Anonymous said...

West Ham and Alladyce are playing into Barry Hearns and Orients pocket. Orient undefeated, West Ham engaged in what looks like a relegation battle. Where will both teams be come 2016? WAKE UP HAMMERS.

Anonymous said...

look at the stats you idiot........4 rants about The Mighty Whites.....and 4 lame blogs about westhamutdonceproudclud.......who,s more important?

rick said...

Hey West Ham fans everywhere boycott the home game against Man City then the dildo owners & BFS just might get the message that we've had enough of poor players tactics. When you look at when we were in championship 2 year ago full houses at home trip to Wembley in my eyes we made big bucks then going into the prem paid £11 mill for Jarvis what a joke then the donkey Carroll on loan then perm for £15 mill & Downing £6 mill that adds to £32 mill what a waste when Swansea got nearly a new team for that money plus the teams that were below us last season have spent on quality & quantity our team is getting on in years so why no younger players bought or come through from the academy? Cos Big Fat Sam is a poor manager ok he did he's job got us up plus 10th last season by a fluke that teams below us were shit & we were laughing now were not laughing as its looking like relegation again & I for one am sick of it so G & S sell up take the biggest dildo you have Allardyce with you so that West Ham can be a once proud club again as I will not go until you lot have gone as for the OS leave that for Athletics not for PATHETICS I can't even say Come on you Irons anymore my club a fucking laughing stock again gggggrrrrrrrr Enough is Enough sack the fucking lotv

Anonymous said...

Interesting post on WHTID "what is the criteria for being a West Ham Fan".

The first criteria is surely that any supporter actually SUPPORTS his team,

Sadly missing in so many of the recent posts on here.

Anonymous said...

Anony-mouse says,

I see you've resumed normal service HF :)

Hammersfan said...

Not through choice Anony-mouse. Even you must be having some doubts!

Anonymous said...

So if 10 men built a wall in one day is that 1 days work or 10? have you heard of the man-hour concept? I Think it is fair enough apply it to games.

Anonymous said...

23:31 poetic, really beautiful and so bloody true!

HaylingIslandHammer said...

Lol def some idiots on here...long way to go