What a joke, but, to quote The Smiths, that joke ain't funny anymore, it's too close to home and too near the bone!
The window has closed and unless transfer papers have been couriered in secret, Sullivan, Gold & Allardyce haves decided that plan B really is one plan too many. We have Andy Carroll, so why do we need anybody else?
True Carroll is injury prone. True we have lost 5 points already because we have nobody to play up top when Carroll is injured. And true Carroll tends to have barren spells even when playing. But none of that is a problem, it seems.
Who needs a striker? Who needs goals? We have Downing and Jarvis to pump the ball into the box, and the stats say that if you get the ball in the opposition box enough times in a game, you are bound to score. I mean, eventually, an opponent with nobody to mark will put the ball in his own bloody net!
This is mismanagement on a monumental scale. It threatens to be a long depressing season. And if we go down, Sullivan will get exactly what he deserves!