Wednesday, 4 September 2013

Saint Carlton agrees to play for nothing

So when is the guy going to be canonized? Such is Carlton's love for the club that he is happy to play for nothing.

How else can we explain the club's attempt to re-sign him? According to the line spun by Big Brother Sullivan, and swallowed by the opened mouthed chicks in the Claret and Blue nest, we couldn't sign another striker until somebody left because of a limit on our wage bill. Well nobody has left so, ergo, the only way we can recruit Carlton Goals is if he has agreed to play for nothing, or next to nothing if we are to credit Sullivan's statement with an iota of truth.

Of course, it was all cobblers from the outset. I said two weeks back that West Ham fans were being taken for mugs and cited Spurs and Sunderland in evidence. The Claret and Blue Klan predictably howled in protest, just as they howled at the suggestion that The Great Puppet Master Duxbury was spinning them a line when he waxed lyrical about the "Project" even as he sold Bellamy and Collins. But these fools can't see the writing on the wall, or on the side of a van even as the Knacker arrives to take the faithful Boxer away.

Captain Kev has been wheeled out to pledge support for want away RVT and if Carlton signs, some bollocks will be released about how, after looking at all the alternatives, he was the best option available. But Carlton can't score and Everton and Cardiff both signed strikers at the end of the window with a proven record in the Prem. We have been betrayed and the management will be hugely culpable if their penny pinching gamble explodes in their face.

What was it that Benjamin said as Boxer was taken away by the butcher? "Fools, fools, fools! Can't you see what's written on the side of that van?" Well as Carlton is brought BACK from the knackers, let's hope to God it doesn't say relegation!


Anonymous said...

Boo hoo I am gutted for you!

Anonymous said...

I honestly and sincerely wish you'd fcuk off and die.

Anonymous said...

Spot on. Perhaps baby Sullivan has the answer!

jim said...

carlton cole should have been kept in the first place as bfs can only play with a target man and carroll is injury prone
what makes me laugh is sullivan going over to holland to talk to bony who was gonna be our record signing last march but maybe he was in holland instead knocking out a load of porn more like it
the two owners have been ok since theyv been at westham but if they aint got the dough to make us compete then they should sell up
this summer has been a joke weve been linked to hundreds of strikers but none have signed
in the fair play ruling i thought i read somewhere that there was somthing like a few million as a buffer for clubs who went slightly over there budget
being positive getting cole back is better than nothing remembering hes the same player who bullied quite a few centre halfs last season and he fits into bfs style of play

Anonymous said...

One of the reason Carlton stopped scoring was that he was being used to hold the ball up and bring the midfield in (alright, it bounced off him as much as he controlled it, but the thought was there)!.

Facing the goal, with no time to think, he scored some good goals for us..... with time to think he bottled it, but hey ho!

I am glad he's back, I thought it reflected bad on the club on the way we let him go, after his loyalty to us when we went down - remember, he was in the England squad at the time! Memories of the way we treated Bonzo and Johnnie Lyall

Anonymous said...

Kevininmanchester writes

I of course buy your line that we are being kept in the dark but then no business is run on a totally transparent basis... but given that Dave and Dave's fortunes are largely tied to the club's fortunes; why would they purposefully hamstring the club by willfully not adding to the squad? Personally I buy the cock up theory. Also having saved the club from financial oblivion and not being in the big league as far prem owners go, they are probably a bit jittery about debt espcially as they are on the hook for it... if it all goes well then fair enough they'll profit handsomely. I think given where we are it makes sense to hold the pattern and look to someone more substantial in January.

Anonymous said...

While I think "fcuk off and die" is way way way over the trolling mark (and whoever wrote it needs to reconsider their behaviour), I do think you should maybe lighten up a little bit. The club is in a state 20 times better than it was when the two Davids took over. Surely give them the benefit of the doubt, man. I'm not sure how much they have to do to convince fans like you.. Cheer up- it might never happen!

Anonymous said...

Again, a load of self-serving, negative, misleading, inaccurate crap. Journalism is all about accurate, factual, balanced reporting - clearly you have never come across that.

If you examine exactly what the owners did say, it was that they were very near their spending cap -not at it.

Anonymous said...

Perhaps the owners are very wary of breaking ANY rules after all the trouble that happened when a certain Mr Tevez was signed ???
We nearly went out of business with that little bit of law breaking - wouldn't you be a little wary about getting hammered again for breaching some rules ?

Anonymous said...

The new fair play financial rules ssem totally incomprehensible, no two people seem to agree as to what is allowed. Feel we will struggle big time with the squad we have compared to what other teams have achieved in this window. will definatley need the Development squad to step up this season.