Thursday 26 December 2013

Sullivan excited by Nigerian deal

A transcript has emerged of the telephone call which alerted West Ham to the availability of ex Sunderland striker Asamoah Guyan, courtesy of a company working for Tottenham Hotspur:

Voice down phone: Hello? Hello?
Sullivan: David Sullivan here, owner and chairman of West Ham United Football Club and Merchant of  High Quality Porn.
Voice down phone: Hello? Is that Mr David Sullivan?
Sullivan: Sullivan here.
Voice down phone: Mister Sullivan I am honoured to be speaking to you. This is Mr Samuel Obogo and I am calling you in relation to a fantastic opportunity. You see, I have this fantastic striker who is worth thirteen million pounds but at the moment he is stranded in the United Arab Emirates and regulations mean that it is impossible to get him out of the country without your help. All you need to do is transfer the sum of three million pounds to a bank account in Nigeria and, in return, I will arrange for this fantastic striker, worth thirteen million pounds, to be transferred across to the United Kingdom within five days of your money clearing through the account. This is an unbelievable opportunity and a fantastic deal because you pay only three million for a striker worth thirteen million, but you have to transfer the money within the next 48 hours otherwise government regulations will prevent the deal from going ahead...

Expect Asamoah Gyan to arrive in the first week of January and disappear before the end of the bloody month!

A transcript of the phone-call leading to the capture of Andy Carroll has also emerged:

Voice down phone: Eeeee is that David Sullivan?
Sullivan: Sullivan here.
Voice down phone: Eeeee Sullivan, Liverpool FC here. You are honoured to be speaking to us.  I am calling you in relation to a fantastic opportunity. Eeeeee....we have this fantastic striker who is worth three million pounds when fit but at the moment he is stranded in our reserves and his ludicrous wages mean that it is impossible to get him out of the club without your help. All you need to do is transfer the sum of fifteen million pounds to a bank account in Liverpool and, in return, we will arrange for this fantastic striker, worth three million pounds, to be transferred across to West Ham United within one day of your money clearing through the account. This is an unbelievable opportunity and a fantastic deal because you pay only fifteen million for a striker worth three million, but you have to transfer the money within the next 4 hours otherwise Newcastle may sign him instead which means there is no time for a medical. Eeeeee but you can trust us wack, we're not a bunch of Nigerians.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Nice one son and next hopefully these Brady bunch clowns will sell up and we get our club back . Stay away vote with your feet and the board will sack the clown who never gets relegated does he?

Anonymous said...

He's from Ghana so crap story!

Hammersfan said...

Where do I say he is Nigerian? You have never received an email from Nigeria, I take it. Be warned, the money is not always in a bank account in Nigeria!

Anonymous said...

Am dissapointed!....so u think its only Nigerians that scams?...dats a cheap short to a nonsence story..Anyways all nigerians cant be bad eggs.

Anonymous said...

Am dissapointed!....so u think its only Nigerians that scams?...dats a cheap short to a nonsence story..Anyways all nigerians cant be bad eggs.its absolutely myopic to think its only Nigerians that are frudulent.

Anonymous said...

You really ought to give up these lame attempts at comedy/satire. They're nearly as shite as the football w,ham play. Great keeper you've got by the way. I thought i'd visit your grubby little blog to entertain myself,laughing at whinging cockneys. Ha ha. Up the Gooners.

Anonymous said...

muppet

Anonymous said...

Hes from ghana

Anonymous said...

U are very stupid and foolish for this crap u wrote and that because of Nigeria. Nonsense!

whamga.com. said...

westhamutdonceproudclub viewer excited by interest on £7o million and growing on pay as go loan...........anyone got any old only fools and horses d.v.d............to sell to help the poor chap out