After Silent Sunday, will it be Mega Monday for Leeds United, with the protracted take over announced today? Or must we wait for Take Over Tuesday? Or Wonderful Wednesday perhaps? Or maybe Thank God Thursday? Or Thank Crunchie it's Friday?
Master Bates has woken up in his mansion and sat down to breakfast, belching as he eats his bacon and eggs, pushing to the side of the plate the unwanted Northern muck known as Black Pudding. What to do? What to do?
The phone rings. It's Warnock. Morning Neil. Money for players? Of course Neil, of course, once the take over has happened. In the meantime, there's a couple of Pompey players looking to move. I know they're not much cop Neil but that's the sort of player you specialise in. Magical ability to motivate, inspire, blend. And we've signed the boy White for you after he found nobody else was willing to up his wages.
News on the take over? These things take time Neil. Stamford Bridge wasn't rebuilt in a day. You're worried nothing is happening? Don't be daft! What do you take me for? Now get your arse down to the training field and get the boys fired up and fit for the new season.
Bates hangs up the phone and picks up his copy of the Times before deciding to go back to bed for a little nap. No news is good news, he mutters as he climbs beneath the duvet and slips quickly into the land of nod, dreaming contentedly of happy Leeds fans awaiting the announcement of his final departure. Bastard Leeds United, he mutters in his sleep, I'll grind that club into the dirt if it is the last thing I do!