Will Everton's win help us to make the Europa League? Or will Tottenham, Fulham or Man City benefit?

Traditionally, club's that reach the FA Cup Final who are not in contention for the title, suffer a dip in form in the League at the fag end of the season. With boyhood dreams about to be realised, players, unless they are called Hayden Mullins, don't want to run the risk of missing out through injury or suspension. 50-50 balls suddenly become 40-60 balls in favour of the opposition and the desire to "run through walls" for the club suddenly evaporates. It has been a long season already and those niggling injuries are felt with a new keenness. Why play in a relatively meaningless league game and risk aggravating the injury, thereby putting yourself out of the Final? Dust off the, "Sorry boss, I'm still feeling it, I don't think I can play today" speech or, if the manager insists, the wave to the bench after ten minutes and an anxious hobble, hand grasping the calf. Remember Upson ahead of the recent England game? Down on his backside, roll down the sock, shake of the head, on with the stretcher, feet up until the internationals. It is as easy as that!

And of course, Everton are now in Europe, they qualified by reaching the Final against Champions League qualifiers. We don't want their form to nose dive so badly that they lose sixth place, of course, unless it is to us which would be perfect if it knocked out a seventh place Tottenham, but with a buffer of 8 points over Fulham and Tottenham, that is unlikely. Sadly, Everton's fixtures between now and that final don't only involve a match against ourselves but also games against Tottenham, Man City and Fulham. It could well be that a place in that Europa League is at the gift of the Toffees. Last three Everton fixtures before that final? Amazingly, Tottenham at home, West Ham at home and Fulham away. How is that for a coincidence?

First up for them, on Wednesday, is a game away to Chelsea, the team they now meet in the Final. Now hopefully this is a game that will see them fully motivated for obvious reasons. A blood and thunder battle that sees Chelsea bruised and battered ahead of the game at Upton Park would do very nicely. If Everton could get a draw, and United win their game on the same night, Chelsea would effectively be out of the race for the Premiership. How hungry would the Chelsea players then be three days ahead of a Champions League semifinal against Barcelona? Would they risk Drogba, Lampard and Terry for a London derby? If they did, might Lucas persuade them early doors that discretion is the better part of valour?

All ifs and buts I know, but we have to somehow cobble together the points in a difficult run in. Three points at Everton and at least one at home to Chelsea would be a huge help. But the team who must be really laughing? Fulham. Remember when Liverpool fielded their stiffs and effectively kept the Cottagers in the Premiership? Well there is every chance now that they will be facing a heavily understrength Everton team at the Cottage in the last game of the season. If that isn't a gimme game, I don't know what is!

Celtic Hammer's Villa Verdict

18 hours in Birmingham, a point well earned, an unused hotel room and a man with a lot of explaining to do. That pretty much sums up yesterday for me!

Hammersfan I am actually in Spain at the moment mate so I flew from Malaga with BMI Baby to Birmingham yesterday. I had a feeling it was going to be a good day, there was sod all traffic on the drive into Malaga and I got parking within minutes, giving me plenty of time to grab my carry on bag (I had packed my laptop and mobile internet connection as I was sure I would be posting this from my hotel room last night after my cousin wussed out and went home after the game) and arrived uncustomarily early at the check in desk. I got a text from my cousin to say he only rated his chances as 50/50 of being allowed to stay the night in Birmingham. I sent him back a quick guilt laden text of how I had only seen him once since he moved to Redditch (he works in Birmingham but commutes from there for some reason) and he was to tell his missus he would be back almost as good as new sometime on Sunday and, that after all, how much damage could we do when my flight was leaving at 6am Sunday morning?

The flight was good. I like BMI they treat you with just enough contempt to let you know that you're and incovenience but not enough to make you actually apologise so you and the crew can settle into a nice little rut of ignoring each other for the flight. I have to be honest, Birmingham isn't the prettiest city in the world when approached from the air; I can only imagine that the first wave of German bombers turned up and thought someone had beaten them to it.

I met my cousin at the hotel, which was the Etap hotel, providing a glimpse into what must have been considered luxury in communist Albania. The trip was short notice and even if my cousin was summoned home after the match, I was going to be checking out at 4am for my flight back. I could tell his resolve was crumbling and reckoned a decent result could tip him over the edge into a night on the tiles in Birmingham.

My cousin had picked up the tickets but has annoyingly never grown out of the cash strapped early 20s belief that any ticket that didn't involve climbing over a wall or shimmying up a telephone pole was good enough, so we were stuck in a filled in corner at the Holt end.

I know we haven't got the best record at Villa but I always enjoy a trip there: the stewards are polite and the Villa fans are really top notch. Chatting to many of them on the way into the game, the mere hint of an Irish accent and they start waxing lyrical about Paul McGrath. They were gutted to hear he is little more than a down and out drunk at this stage (allegedly).

I hadn't heard any team news so I was keen to see if Parker or at least Kovac were fit and I was a little worried when I heard they were both out and we were starting with the same 11 as we had against the spuds. But when the game started it looked like we would rip Villa apart. From our seats we had a perfect view when Stanislas carved through the Villa defense - it looked like everyone else was running in slow motion, good god the kid is quick. We were out of our seats celebrating when the ball left his boot, only for Freidle to get a hand (or an arm) to it. It's almost a shame there are only 5 games left because the more that kid plays, the better he looks. He is bright, always alert, has a fantastic work ethic and is always keen to get on the ball and make things happen. Tomkins look great coming forward from full back but he is still a little suspect positionally. I don't think it will hamper his development though as I see him as being a starting center half next season.

The injury to Ginge actually improved things for us as Lucas went back to right back which gave our back 4 more shape and organisation. Now I know a lot of people think he is over paid and not the greatest full back in the world, but I think the guy is class. I have always had a soft spot for full backs who push the letter of the law to its limit. I was a huge fan of Tomas Repka and I think Lucas is in the same mould, albeit with a lot more upstairs. His method of dealing with Ashley Young was pure class, tug at him, tug at him, kick him, shove him, kick him again and then look shocked when he flares up and gets himself booked! All the while looking at the ref with a face that's a picture of innocence. Brilliant!

I don't know what we paid for Ilunga or what we are paying the guy as a salary, but whatever it is, it is a bargain. The guy is fantastic. He has tidied up his defending since he arrived and looks a real handful going forward. In a full strength team he would be a brilliant attacking outlet.

I know most of you have seen the game, the highlights and the Sunday morning post mortem so I will refrain from giving you a match report. There are a few things I want to say about the game yesterday. Firstly, Tomkins will be a future captain of England, the guy is pure class. Playing alongside Upson he certainly didn't look the junior partner in the centre of defence. Rob Green must sign a new contract, although I felt he could have done more for their goal, he is the best English keeper around. I was thrilled to see Tristan score and yes he meant it. You can see the guy is struggling with the pace of the game and the fact that the legs just won't do what his mind is telling them, but the way he tackled back in the 92 minute made me glad we signed him. He probably won't stay beyond this season but I will always cherish the memory of seeing the great Diego Tristan play and score for West Ham. DiMichele is trying to hard right now, he desperately wants to do well for the club and at times the guy looks a different class. Remember it was his two touches that set Cole up for goal against Wigan. I hope he bags a new deal as I think the young players could learn so much from him technically. Noble tried to take the weight of the world on his shoulders again yesterday and his performance suffered from it. Watching Dyer walk of the pitch, he look very fresh which is a great thing for the club. Every game he plays he looks more like the player he was. We were sitting with mostly Villa fans and they all agreed that we are having a superb season and Zola and Clarke are doing a brilliant job.

One funny note was when Villa brought on DelFouneso who we pormptly christened The Fonze and everytime he got near the ball we went "EEEEEHHHHHHH". A few of the Villa fans even joined.

I did think it was going to be another plucky defeat until Tristan's deft header, at which point I turned to my cousin and told him to ring his missus and tell her he wouldn't be home. He said it would be simpler to text her and then turn his phone off. We could have bagged a late winner and to be fair it was the type of game that any end scoreline could have been easily argued and being deserved.

We hit a few bars near the ground when the match was over and had a good laugh with some Villa fans. Interestingly enough, they all wish the club had made more of an effort in the UEFA cup as they never really felt a top 4 finish was on for them this year but said O'Neill (who we all agreed reminded us of that really cool geography teacher you had in school) was under pressure from Learner to concentrate on the league even though the fans said their squad was no where near good enough. We also all reckon that if you watch a video of John Barnes with the settings wrong on your tv so the picture gets stretched, its like watching John Carew. Naturally we apologised for landing them with Nigel Reo Coker.

We ended up in the Island bar with the great and the good of brumms social scene where the main topic of the night was if an accent can make a girl more or less attractive. Despite hours of debate all we could agree on was that a brummie accent wasn't necessarily so off putting (not like a scouse accent). Unfortunately by the time we had reached this conclusion it was chucking out time and there was nothing to do but head back to the hotel.

By the time we got there it was obvious there was no point in my going to sleep if I wanted to actually wake up for my flight so I grabbed my bag while my cousin stood in the doorway waiting for the bed to pass by again so he could collapse on it. I headed to the airport and grabbed some kip in the departure lounge and some more on the plane, where I was told that I couldn't sit at the emergency exit seat (I need the legroom) if I was going to sleep through the safety briefing. I pointed out that unless anything had changed radically from the flight over yesterday I felt confident I had retained the gist of it.

I had some breakfast in Malaga airport, taking time to ring the hotel in Birmingham and asking them to keep trying the phone in the room until my cousin answered before wishing him luck in keeping his testicles when he got back to the wife, before driving home to crash on the couch and shout encouragement at Newcastle (now there is an accent that improves how attractive a girl is) while filling you in on my trip.
I can spend the next few days soaking up some sun and worrying about the upcoming game with Chelski!

Celtic Hammer.

West Ham Takeaway - From Ice Cold to Cooking Hot!

Well we have done North so why not try East? We have tried the deep freezer, so why not try a spell in the cooker? Talk about from one extreme to the other! The little old East End cockle and winkle stall that was West Ham United looks set to whizz from the far north of Iceland to the Far East of, well we are not quite sure where. Another Thai dodgy billionaire perhaps? Or maybe an oil rich Arab? Or perhaps a steely Indian?

In a strange way, and given what the banks have been up to it is a very strange way indeed, I was kind of looking forward to the idea of being owned by a consortium of banks. There seemed something almost old fashioned and quaint about the idea of level headed bankers making sound business decisions about the future of the club. This wasn't going to be a crazy ego (or Eggyo?) trip, but a period of stability, with the club run properly to maximise its sell on value.

Now, all of a sudden, it appears that we may be about to become somebody else's plaything, a pleasure doll to be used for the amusement of some mega-rich slime-bag who will no doubt take his pleasures and then shaft us according to his whims. Oh he may dress us up like a tart and walk us out on the town for a while, but there will be no love in the relationship, no real understanding of what we care about, about what we represent, and if we start to sag a bit in the vital areas, you can bet your frilly knickers he will lose interest and look for his thrills elsewhere.

We are in the shop window again it seems, a naked mannequin or, worse still, a painted tart fronting a Bangkok brothel. You wouldn't want to see your sister paraded like this and, as a member of the West Ham family, I am squirming as I imagine some fat grease-bag stranger eying up and down the love of my life before fantasizing about what he is going to do to her.

An orgy of bankers or sold into slavery to somebody from the Orient? The choice isn't great, but of the two, I would go with the former. At least the bankers would be interested in due diligence and protecting the assets. When you are somebody's whore, there is no thought for your long term well being!

Zola Tries to Energise Beano!

You have to love this guy Zola, he just does not know when the odds are stacked against him! Arsenal, Chelsea and Liverpool away? No problem, we can take a point at each! Villa away with eight players ruled out by injury? Let's go and play some football! Hungry banks circling the club like vultures? It is not a problem, we play football and the rest will take care of itself! But now, surely, the guy has bitten off more than he can chew. Zola is actually expecting Beano to get off his death bed and play a game of football - this season!

The little package of positive thought has been quoted as saying of Beano, "He would have made a big difference to us this year. He can give us something extra, especially with goals. We are looking forward to having him back soon."

"It would be fantastic if he could maybe play a game or two before the end of the season. It would be really great not only for him but for the supporters and for the club.

"His finishing is amazing. This team's build-up is very good. Maybe we lack a little bit of finishing which is something Dean Ashton has in his blood so he would be the perfect player for us."

Wonderful stuff from Zola, but he obviously doesn't realise that it takes Ashton six months to get into condition even after he has started playing! "Run? Jump? You want me to run and jump already? I am only 10 games in to my comeback!"

I think the only way we will see Ashton play this season is if Zola trades his tracksuit for silks and saddles up the giant chestnut. Move aside Motson, give the microphone over to Graham Goode! " And they're coming down the tunnel onto the pitch and Beano is hanging a little, trying to take the corridor down to the treatment room, but Zola has his whip in his left hand and has given him a couple of slaps down his hind quarters as a reminder. Oh dear, it's started to drizzle and you can see that Beano doesn't like that. Zola has given him a couple of kicks in his ribs with his heels and it looks as if he might actually get him out on to the pitch this time. But no, what's this, Beano has reared up and is trying to throw his jockey! But Zola has remained calm. He is walking him around in circles. They are calling for the hood now. Zola is nudging him forward, Clarke is leading him by the bridle and, yes, that's it! Beano is actually on the pitch! Beano is ready to race! Over to John McCririck for the latest betting."

School Boy Error

So what was that all about yesterday? This is the Premiership, the most successful, highly marketed football league in the world. This fixture has been on the calender for the best part of nine months and the authorities and both clubs have been aware for God knows how many years that both teams wear the same colours. So what happens? As the two sides start getting changed, it dawns on the referee that the proposed kits are too similar and could lead to him making erroneous decisions.

How? How did we get to the point where Villa were searching for a replacement kit and had to take to the field without names on their shirts?

As if to prove Rob Styles' point, in the final minute, Tomkins and Carew came together in the box and an arm definitely came in contact with the ball. Now it was hard enough for the officials to spot in real time anyway, as was proven by their failure to see it, but had both arms been in sky blue sleeves, it would have been near impossible to say who was the offender. Imagine an arm going up and hitting the ball in a crowded box at a corner; how would a match official determine whose arm it was if both teams were wearing the same coloured sleeves?

This was a crass, stupid, schoolboy error and highlights the fact that there is still a lack of joined up thinking in our game. If we can't even cope with an issue as straightforward as teams wearing different coloured shirts, how on earth can we expect officials and clubs to get their minds around complex issues like third party agreements?

(Caption for the picture above? The one on the right is saying: "What's in the case? My friend's packed lunch.")

Best Performance of the Day - West Ham at Villa

After time to reflect and having watched back the highlights on Match of the Day, I think it is fair to say that ours was the best performance of the day. That result away to Villa, with so many players out injured, was remarkable in itself, but the result was in fact earned, it was not as fortunate as I called it immediately after the game.

Let's be honest, Green didn't have that much to do at the end of the day did he? Now, to be fair, that is in part down to the profligacy of Barry, Heskey and Carew, all of whom should have done better from clear cut chances - goals are pretty big things and really international players should at least force a save when given a chance in the penalty box, never mind from on the edge of the six yard box (Barry) and especially from inside it (Carew)!

But we were not without our own chances. Stanislas did force a save after bursting through brilliantly and had Tomkins squared to Stanislas later, instead of scooping the ball over, I am sure Junior would have been celebrating his second senior goal. LBM flirted with the idea of scoring, Noble's deflected effort was tipped over and we played pin ball in the Villa goalmouth after Di Michele burst through. And actually Tristan did get a deliberate deflection on his header after all.

That is impressive against the fifth placed team in the Premiership. I know that position may flatter Villa but they have accumulated enough points to be there and they are something of a bogey team for West Ham.

Some will argue that Chelsea overcoming Arsenal to reach the FA Cup Final qualifies for performance of the day but that was on the back of two poor goalkeeping mistakes by their stand in Pole. For me, a virtual reserve team trading blows with Villa and coming away with a point, was the more impressive. In fact, that penalty claim apart, we were much the better team after that equalising goal. It makes you wonder what we could achieve with a forward or two worth the name!

Villa 1 West Ham 1 A draw in the face of advillaersity!

Wow, I'm not sure if that result says more about us or Villa. It is easier to list the players available to us rather than go through those ruled out, and we still came away with a 1-1 draw, despite losing Collins to yet another injury! Martin O'Nutter must be tearing what's left of his hair out after this game, we were surely there for the taking after going an early goal down but his side were patently not up to the task. Perhaps Tottenham are a bit special after all - they did manage to beat this West Ham team after all and nobody else seems up to that task!

At half time I feared the worst. Boa was already on a yellow and had been lucky to escape an earlier one for a late challenge on the edge of our box. The clever money was on him making a clumsy challenge and getting his marching orders. Tristan looked slower than Benny in an IQ exam and as committed as a eunuch in a brothel. Stanislas looked to have blown our best chances of scoring and I was anticipating Young skinning Neill second half and putting a few on a plate for Carew.

As it happened, luck was on our side today. Yes Clarke and Zola organised us pretty well defensively again and yes, in spells, we looked impressive with the ball, the quick interchange of passes promising a lot until the disappointing final ball; but, in truth, Villa had the chances to bury us before our equaliser.

Did Tristan mean that? I am not entirely convinced. His first "goal" bounced off him from a Cole shot and whilst he did get his head on this one, I don't think he knew much, if anything, about it. Until that goal I thought he was awful but he did get the goal so we can't damn the guy can we?

Player ratings: Green 6, Tomkins 7 Collins 6 Upson 7 Ilunga 6 Boa 6 Neill 6 Noble 7 (apart from that awful back pass!) Stanislas 6 Di Michele 5 Tristan 5, Dyer 5, Savio 6 Sears 6

Zola and Clarke, the new Clough and Taylor! Eat your hearts out Tottenham, Chelsea, Liverpool and Man City!

Zola signed a rolling contract which would be reviewed at the end of each season. So a new contract would always have had to have been discussed at this stage of the season. It is going to be a 4 year contract in recognition of the fact that when all the circumstances of the season are measured and weighed, Zola has done superbly. I know the earlier Zola post was worded so as to invite debate but what the hell, I'll bite.

Zola took over a side who for the latter half of the previous season had looked as far removed from a West Ham side as it was possible to get without ringing up Vinnie Jones and asking if he and his old Wimbledon mates fancied coming out of retirement. Not only were our results shocking but the football we had played was turgid, woeful crap that would make the average Sunday league time cringe. Curbs had shown an ability to spend money badly, fail to motivate a team and when it came to tactics, well he seemed to think they were those little white minty things that "gave you a lift".

A number of high profile candidates were linked with the job and some were interviewed and when the board met Zola they found the one guy who had the ultimate quality, a quality so rare that it wasn't even on the list of requirements for the job. Duxbury didnt know it existed before he met Zola and, to be fair, neither did anyone else on the board.

GiannFranco Zola is the embodiment of West Ham United Football Club. He is the greatest player to never have played for the club. If you took the essence of what our club stands for, the sheer joy of playing football, the sense that principles matter more than trophies, that sportsmanship is a sign of strength not weakness and that dedication to the art of football is every bit as important as studying the science of football, then it exists in a 5ft6 Sardinian.

There was only one other person on the medias list who could come close and that was Paolo DiCanio. Now dont get me wrong if PDC managed WestHam I would follow that man to the gates of Hell and if he told me to I would walk right through them and kick the Devil in the arse. When I was in Rome for the Ireland Italy 6nations game this year I tied a WestHam scarf to the railing of the Stadio Flaminio where he played his last season. But with Paolo there is an element of the flawed genius, there is a dark side, there is a temper, he and Zola are like fire and ice. They share the same spirit and skill and love of the game but Zola is calmer, more pragmatic, while Paolo is a raging inferno GiannFranco is cold steel.

The board gave us exactly what we demanded from our club in the form of a manager. This was in fact a bigger risk than simply giving us PDC, because if they had done that me, you and every Hammers fan would have defended him to the death.

Zola took on a club with an identity crisis, the name The Academy of Football was becoming a snide comment from other fans. He came in and tried to give us exactly what we wanted, WestHam football and it looked against Blackburn and Newcastle that it would work like a charm, but it didnt, we stumbled, it was too far too soon. This is when we see the pragmatism of Zola come through, he lets Clarke influence team affairs more, he ups the work level on the training pitch, goes back to learning to walk before trying to run, giving the players the tools to do the job he wants them to do. He then places himself squarely in the media spotlight, barely a month into his first job and accepts the blame for the teams failings. He allows a reputation as one of the most gifted players the game has ever seen take a battering in the press to protect his team, to draw the focus away from their short commings, to allow Clarke to work unfettered from the press glare. He takes it week after week and every time he stands up to accept responsibility, the team watch him go out of the dressing room to throw himself to the lions to protect them. They know they may never be the player he was but for him, for what he is doing for them they will be the best player they can be, no more than that they will be the best player he can make them be.

Suddenly things start to change, the team stops the rot. As fortunes change, Zola points to Clarke and the players and says its down to them. When we stumble he goes forward and again says its down to him, he picks us up by letting himself be knocked down. With more strife off field than an Eastenders Christmas special, he remains calm and dignified and never, not once, chooses to use it as an excuse. He is resolute in defending the club, its position, its plans and its people.

He is brave enough to take the hard decisions, he lets players go in the window, he puts his trust in the players he keeps. When his first major signing isn't an instant success he doesn't let his ego force him to play the kid week in week out with the pressure mounting, he lets him find his feet, he puts the individual's needs above those of his own. He tells him he will be a great player and gives him the time to become one.

He is respectful of other managers, responding with good humour and honesty about their comments, he doesn't blame referees or linesmen, if they are wrong he says so but says it is part of football and doesn't use them as scapegoats.

Even now with the club in 7th he refuses any credit. As injuries mount he refuses to lower his expectations for the club, he will not take the easy option. Even Martin O'Neill has started blaming Villa losing their Champions League chances on injuries but not Zola, and because of that what he says rings true. He is believable, and if he believes then so can we.

The man gets offered a 4 year deal for increased money and does he jump at it? No he agrees to it, so long as his assistant and backroom team get similar deals. Zola and Clarke will be the new Taylor and Clough, they will put our club where we want it to be and not force us to choose between success and the traditions that made us love this club in the first place. They will mould the next generation of WestHam players into a winning team by taking all that is great and good about WestHam and fusing it with the work ethic and dedication that was a hallmark of Zola himself; they will teach them the savvy of playing your game in the way that gives you the best chance of beating the opposition in front of you that has been a hallmark of Clarke's coaching.

Zola and Clarke will make the Academy of Football a revered title spoken in hushed respectful tones by football fans all over the world. The will make ambition a part of our new tradition, they will take all that we love about the club and build a legacy on it. Forget 4 more years, they can have the job for as long as they want it in my book!

By Celtic Hammer

New Contract for Zola? Why exactly? We aren't Tottenham!

The papers and web sites are full of talk about Zola being offered a new contract and I must ask, why exactly? We only appointed the guy in mid September so why on earth are we offering a new contract? What did we say in September? We want you until the end of the season and we will see how the ground lies then? I know Tottenham appoint managers on a six month basis but at West Ham, we do things differently - the average tenure is close to a decade!

It's not as if the guy has pulled up any trees! We went out of the League Cup to the mighty Watford, courtesy of Zola selecting an understrength side, and thereby surrendering our best chance of winning a trophy this season. Our FA Cup run saw us triumph over the formidable Barnsley and Hartlepool but came to a juddering halt after a home draw against relegation threatened Miserableborough. In the Premiership, we have averaged a goal a game since Zola took charge, a return that stands unfavourable comparison with both Turds and Roeder. We are on 44 points at the moment with a very challenging run it. If we make it past 50 points, I will be pleasantly surprised. 50 points? That would be just one more than Turds managed last season!

So I ask the question, why are we negotiating a new contract at this stage? The guy is still wearing water wings as a manager and has proved nothing so far.

Caption Competition

So what is 'Arry saying to Gordon in that picture? No racism or obscenities please! First prize, a Manila envelope stuffed with something!

Will 'Arry do to Tottenham what he did to Pompey, West Ham, Southampton and Bournemouth ?

Our old friend 'Arry certainly divides opinion. I have no idea if there is any truth in it, but I was once told on a flight back from the States that he left West Ham under a cloud of financial irregularities. I was told, and I found it very hard to believe, that he and Lampard Senior had built a property empire funded by ancillary activities related to transfer deals. Now all sorts of nonsense is spouted by people who claim to know somebody who claims to know somebody who claims to know something. I am sure, personally, that this was a case of Chinese Whispers. The guy who told me this was a West Ham fan and we were in the Championship at the time so there was good reason to hold a grudge. I do not believe a word of it.

The departure of 'Arry from Upton Park has never been fully explained however. The club, as a rule, do not sack managers without a very good reason to do so. We had not been relegated and 'Arry was bringing through a golden crop of young talent. Yes he had bought some rubbish and yes he had spouted off about the sale of Rio, but we were in a position to kick on and progress the following season. Let's face it, even Roeder took us to seventh place! So why did 'Arry have to go? Why did a club that stands by managers even after relegation (Lyall and Roeder) and after failing to secure promotion despite being favourites to do so (Lyall and Pardew) sack a guy for finishing sixth from bottom? We had made it to the quarter final of the FA Cup after all and, before falling away once we had nothing to play for, had actually enjoyed a goodish season in the Prem. Eight defeats in our last 11 games shows how that season was undermined by that "tail off". 42 points was very disappointing but we were 8 points clear of the relegation places at the end of the day. Remember that epic 1-0 victory in the Cup at Old Trafford? Remember the 5-0 thumping of Charlton? Remember the 1-0 victory away to Leeds? When we beat Southampton 3-0 in the penultimate game of the season we had Di Canio, Kanoute, Carrick and Cole in the team - the prospects for the following season looked good. I was disappointed at the end of the season but far from downhearted. The defeat to Spurs in the Cup hurt but the draw for the semi final was made before that game kicked off and I, for one, held out no hope of making it through to the Final once the winners had been tied with Arsenal. I'm sure the draw was a kick in the testicles for ourselves and a great motivator for Tottenham. I well remember telling my Tottenham mate that the result was a foregone conclusion as soon as I heard the draw. So why did 'Arry get sacked?

The signings of Song, Camera and others certainly left a bad taste in the mouth. But 'Arry's transfer deals overall were not the disaster some would have us believe. Di Canio, Kanoute, Hartson, Kitson, Sinclair, Pearce, Lomas, Foe, Wright, Wanchope, Berkovic - they weren't all bad were they? So why did 'Arry get the sack?

And it wasn't as if there was an heir apparent waiting in the wings. I know Roeder stepped up but I don't think that was a done deal when 'Arry was shown the door was it? Didn't we try for Turds? So why was 'Arry sacked?

Now let's look at what has happened to other clubs that 'Arry has managed. Some managers are said to have the Midas touch, but in 'Arry's case, the opposite seems to apply. I would say everything turns to lead, but 'Arry might have that stripped off the roof before he departs! Bournemouth? Receivership. Southampton? Receivership. Pompey? Who is that knocking at the door? Quick, hide behind the sofa and pretend we are not here! West Ham? The banks will soon be running us apparently. All a huge coincidence of course, nothing whatsoever to do with 'Arry. Police raids at Pompey? BBC enquiries into transfer dealings at Pompey under 'Arry? Coincidence, all coincidence. Surely. 'Arry is probably more of a saint than an Arthur Daley. 'Arry is probably 100% straight, in the business as well as the heterosexual sense. 'Arry has probably never done a dodgy deal in his life. And Carlsberg is probably the best lager in the world. Isn't it?

So what can we expect at Tottenham? They may end up with a pot next season, but in the years that follow, will they even have a pot to piss in? They are fitting the revolving door to the dressing room as we speak, ready for the summer. A larger than normal order has been placed for brown Manila envelopes. 'Arry's twitch, turning a blind eye to what is otherwise staring him in the face, is revving up. What's that under the table 'Arry? That's a big bulge, I didn't know you were so happy to see me!

One thing's for sure, under 'Arry, watching Tottenham on and off the pitch certainly will not be boring. My money is on him being sacked before the January transfer window - based entirely on the results of course!

No To Cavani May Mean No To Progress.

I have no idea how good the guy is, but Nani describes the Uruguayan Cavani as a "great player". However, it seems that £14.2 million to sign him is "too expensive".

Now this could be read in one of two ways. Maybe this "great player" is not worth as much as the less than great Bellyache. Maybe we have looked at him and thought, no there is better value available elsewhere. If we are saying, good player but not good value at that price, we can do better, then fair enough. Maybe this is a bit of haggling on the part of both clubs?

However, it could also be that £14.2m is "too expensive" full stop. Possibly this sort of outlay is beyond our current means. If that is the case, then we need to be worried. Without the addition of 3 quality players, we are not going to compete with the top 6 or 7 next season. Villa, City and Tottenham will all be getting out the cheque book in the summer and Everton will strengthen. We have to invest to stand still, never mind progress. If the Board are saying we cannot afford to pay £14m, irrespective of the ability of the player, then we are going to struggle.

Zola will be watching this situation closely. He will know that the current squad is not good enough and will be looking for the Board to make good promises to fund his "project". If we are going to balk at a fee that Tottenham were happy to pay for several players LAST summer, then it is hard to see how Zola can expect to compete.

The View From Down Under - Salty Has His Say

I guess I state the obvious here, but while the FA, UEFA and FIFA sit on their hands, nothing is going to change.

While the huge sums that PL clubs have available to them exists, it is always going to be the case that these clubs will buy the best players that the world has to offer. One can't blame them; it's a natural thing to do.

However, the influx of foreign talent inevitably lessens the opportunities available for local (English) players to grow and improve their own games at the highest level. All but a few of the very best will be consigned to the lesser leagues where opportunities to develop and progress inevitably lessen.

The result is that the England national team must inevitably suffer; if for no other reason than there is a smaller pool of players available who have had experience at the highest level.

If the administrators of the PL are charged with progressing the PL, such a circumstance cannot be blamed on them. They only have to do what is good for the PL and its constituent clubs.

The problem is that of the Football Association's. My understanding is that the FA is responsible for managing and progressing football in England. That being the case you'd have to wonder why this situation is allowed to persist.

I think most people can see the problem and most can see what needs to be done. What is causing the FA to procrastinate so? Is it simple incompetence? The longer this remains unresolved the worse it will become for what was once a proud football nation.

The FA and the PL need to get their heads together and establish a structure where the financial advantage that the PL has over other world leagues is retained but tempered and balanced by the need to provide an appropriate level of growth opportunities for English footballers. It can't be all that difficult surely?

The problem is, of course, the power of the big clubs. Look at the Liverpool v Chelsea game this week - there were only three English players on the pitch and one of those, Carragher, has opted not to play for England. The 6/5 rule proposed by Platini seems the way forward but will anybody be brave enough to force it through? Somehow, I doubt it!

Now West Ham seem to be going the way of the others with a foreign manager and an increasing number of foreign signings. If you can't beat them, join them I suppose. But at this rate, Australia will be favourites to beat the England team in football as well as cricket and rugby!

Oi Arry shut it! (Hotshot’s rant)

Harry Redknapp's comment that the current bunch of West Ham graduates aren’t in the same league as the former ones he managed, and the comment that the club should never have sold the former players, must have boosted his ego, while denting a few on route. I don’t think he’ll be getting wedding invites from the current graduates: Tomkins, Collison, Stanislas, or Sears anytime soon.

Of the four, the first two are potentially world class, showing immense talent, Tomkins is comparable with Rio Ferdinand, and Collison with Michael Carrick, both playing the same positions respectively while displaying maturity beyond their years, as did their former counterparts. Their manager Zola commented, defending the young players, saying that the world is their oyster, if only they keep applying themselves!

Although Rio Ferdinand always showed great poise and skill, when he was first thrust into the West Ham first team, many will remember that he was quite often prone to bad positioning and basic mistakes – which many put down to a lack of concerted concentration; in contrast Tomkins has shown, even at this early stage, that he doesn’t suffer the same problems. By this reasoning it could be argued that Tomkins has the potential to become a better player than Ferdinand, and arrive there sooner in his career.

Collison like Carrick shares the same unassuming personality off the pitch, but on it he shows great maturity, confidence, and skill. As Zola put it “he plays like a veteran”. The Welsh national team manager is in agreement, putting him in the team at only nineteen years of age, nutmegging Capello in the process.

Not being the media’s, or fellow manager’s, favourite, suspected of dodgy dealings, then being cleared, then being accused by a number of managers of tapping up players, publicly saying that he wanted several rival team’s contracted players, why would Harry Redknapp make this kind of comment? And more puzzling who’s working on his PR team - Salmon Rusdie? It seems his comments are a self publicity stunt.

Redknapp went on to say that he had scouted Lampard, Ferdinand, Carrick, Johnson, Joe Cole etc, which doesn’t seem credible seeing that Lampard jnr would have been there as a result of Lampard snr encouraging him to join the youth set up, and Joe Cole joining the club around the time Redknapp became club manager. Yes most of these players emerged while he was club manager, but surely it would have had more to do with the scouting and development of Tony Carr’ s academy team, and the current manager of that time - Billy Bonds?

Carr has brought through many of West Ham’s world class players of late, including Tony Cottee and Paul Ince, so when 'Arry Claptrap' talks about it being his doing, lets get it right – it’s the club’s tradition, and more recently ‘Carr’ that found and developed these players. Since providing England’s backbone to their world cup winning team, West Ham have never ceased to provide world class players in every decade – and one of them now sits on the board of the English Football Association, having been an ambassador for the game over the years – Sir Trevor Brooking.

Lastly and for the record ‘Arry’, didn’t the mass exodus, starting with Rio, begin when you were the manager, then turning into a flood after you got the boot for making a silly remark? Some would see this as mismanagement of a great resource, as could buying the player Marco Boogers - that went missing and was later found sulking in a Dutch caravan park. The team existed before Harry and I am sure will continue bringing immense talent through after him – Harry get over yourself.

Hotshot C

Upson; is the clever thing to sell?

Cards on the table to begin with. I thought Upson was a bad buy when we signed him from Birmingham but his subsequent performances have obliged me to eat humble pie. He has been superb this season and is undoubtedly the cotter pin of our defence, marshalling and leading the defensive unit superbly. So why on earth might it make sense to sell?

Well every player has his price of course. We needed Bellyache but £14million to take away Period Pains was too good an offer to turn down. We overpaid when we bought the Welsh troubled troublemaker, so Manchester City's offer was nothing less than staggering. Remember, Tottenham started bidding at less than half that price!

Now something that both Upson and Bellamy have in common is a bad history of long term injuries. Upson still plays with bits of the Yellow Pages in his boots at the advice of some Quack and, sooner or later, he will break down. As Bellyache has since his move to City.

Then there is the age factor. Again, Bellyache and Upson are both in their late twenties. How many years does Upson have left at the top? Four years? Five if he is very lucky. As that body ages, so the accumulative build up of all his injuries will increase. He will miss more and more games as his ageometer ticks past 30, 31, 32...

Upson seems to think that playing in Europe will enhance his chances of playing for England. That is nonsense. He is in the England squad already so how does that make sense. Perhaps he thinks it will establish him as first choice over Ferdinand and Terry? If so, the guy is living on a different planet. He is good but he isn't going to displace either of Rio or JT, irrespective of whether or not he plays in Europe. Let's face it, he already plays against three of the best teams in Europe given this year's Champions League semifinal line up. Liverpool fans will argue that had they avoided Chelsea, they would also be in the last four - so four of the top five teams in Europe! What does the guy stand to gain by moving therefore? If he plays for Arsenal, he won't get the chance to test himself against them! So why does he REALLY want to move? Money perhaps?

Then there is the Clarke factor. Clarke can organise a defence and, to be honest, when Upson was missing, we coped OK. Upson might find himself a "squad player" at Arsenal and actually slipping down the England pecking order. If I was him, and I was really looking to further my England career, I would stay where my first team place was guaranteed, working with one of the top coaches in the game in the process.

If we wants to go, he will go. This is all paper talk at the moment but I do not expect him to stay if we end the season with a whimper. What would be a fair price? If we could get £12million I would sell.

In Memory Of The Liverpool 96 (Celtic Hammer's Tribute)

There are a few points I wish to discuss about Liverpool, not to have a go but just to highlight the problems at the top of our game; but today isn't the day for that.

We held a minute's silence in Spike's bar after the game at 3.06; its not much but on days like this you feel you have to mark these events, if only so that we never forget and that we never repeat what happened.

I wasn't much more than a kid when it happened but I remember thinking that there were kids like me there with their dads. I will be honest, the next time I went to Upton park with my dad, I didn't make a fuss when he told me to hold his hand as we joined the crowd going into the ground, like I had started doing since I'd turned 12 the year before. I was happy to know he was there with me. I thought a lot that day about the kids who would never get to go to a game with their dads again.

It kind of puts a lot of things in perspective and makes a lot look trivial. For those that lost family amongst the 96 who perished I am sure that the pain, the sense of loss and the heartache are as all consuming now as they were 20 years ago. I come from a famiy who has lost someone unexpectedly, and far far before their time, and I only hope that for all the families, the memory of their lost one's life is now stronger than the memory of their loss.

Walk on!

Hammer Herita Our Horatio Hero!

It is confirmed, Ilunga is ours! This is fantastic news because the guy has been one of our best players this season, filling that problem left back berth with skill, passion and total commitment.

I still don't think we have seen the best of him yet. As the team grows in confidence, so Ilunga will be released more to attack down that left hand flank. When he does range forward, we look more dangerous and I'm sure Zola and Clarke will be exploring tactics to liberate him more in home games.

To think, Curbishley jumped ship because we sold McCartney and signed Herita instead. That just shows what a poor judge of a player Curbishley is! He is trying to claim £1 million off us for constructive dismissal on Friday. We should show the tribunal a tape of McCartney and Ilunga, and point out how many games each has played this season. "Forced to walk the plank?" the Judge would ask. "From what I've seen Mr Curbishley, you are the plank!"

Chelsea Do NOT Want Green

Shocking news is emanating from Stamford Bridge, Chelsea do NOT have any wish to sign Robert Green. A spokesman for the club said, "This is a desperate attempt by an internet forum to whip up hits by spreading scare stories."

He continued, "Why would we buy Green? Like Cech, he is vulnerable under crosses and he isn't even England's first choice in a very average crop of English qualified keepers. If we need a new keeper, with Abromovitch's billions, we will not buy British!"

To emphasise the point, the spokesman added, "The article goes on to say that if Chelsea weren't interested, other clubs might be. This is a heartless attempt to undermine the morale of West Ham fans and the author should hang his head in shame."

Do we want to become Ovest Prosciutto Uniti? (Asks Marty)

Since Nani arrived, we have moved on permanently, or with a view to a permanent move, 9 or 10 players; and all bar one, Faubert, are British. During that same period we have brought in 7 or 8, all of them foreign. I am all in favour of following Arsene Wenger’s footballing blueprint, but would you be happy if we ended up with no British players in the team?

“What about all the youth coming through?” I hear you say. Well yes we do seem to have some good kids, but their careers are still embryonic and how many good youngsters push on to be the finished article? Noble is a good footballer, but would he make the squad in a top four team? I’m not sure. Collison has had a great year but next season will be harder for him, second season syndrome applies to players as well as teams. Sears for me has not looked like he is going to be a Premiership player. Tomkins looks the real deal but so did Kevin Lock, the first "next Bobby Moore" when he broke into the team. What about the other kids? Well they’re only just starting out and nobody will be more pleased than me if they make it; statistically the odds are against it. Remember Ade Coker and Johnny Ayris?

And talking of the youth team, since Nani arrived we have seen the likes of Bajnar, Grasser, Montano, Ejolfson, Sanchez, Stech and a few others gracing the youth team. All foreigners. Then there is Savio. Would you be happy to see a West Ham squad made up almost exclusively of foreigners? Would that be OK as long as we’re successful? Or is it important that we maintain a British core to the squad? Zola has said that he is committed to the essential Britishness of the club, but he has learned very quickly to say what is expected or what suits his purpose at the time. Does a British "core" simply mean two players, like at Liverpool and Chelsea, and would you be happy with this?

Chelsea v Liverpool. Only in England!

OK, so explain that if you can! Tonight should have been a non event, Chelsea were as good as through to the semi final and Liverpool, without Gerrard, surely had to focus on hunting down the Mancs in the Prem. And what happens? Two teams packed with experienced players went out and played like a bunch of kids on a Sunday afternoon. You could explain it if this was a game between two teams of Brits, but there were only 3 Englishmen on the pitch! So why, why?

All credit to both clubs. I have posted why I hate Liverpool FC and nothing will change that, but tonight they went to Chelsea and went one better than the mighty Bolton Wanderers managed on Saturday. Four goals at the Bridge! What a shame for the Scousers that Chelsea scored four of their own in reply! But what a joy for the neutral! 4-4 on the night and 7-5 on aggregate, that doesn't happen outside of Roy of the Rovers comic strips! Even my son, who has taken Aldershot to the Prem on his Playstation 3, was calling the game "stupid"!

Mad, crazy, breathtaking, hilarious - you name it. And what a great goal from Lampard to nail the result for Chelsea! Come on you Hammers, put jealousy to one side and applaud both teams for a great game of headless football!