Sunday 22 March 2009

Something for the weekend sir?

If your barber whispers those words, be careful, because based on the rest of this nightmare weekend, it will have a bloody great hole in it! Spurs beat Chelsea and move to within three points of us (how big a head start do we need to be sure of finishing above the Cockyfools?), Wigan beat Hull with a late goal and move above us into seventh, City look like pulling closer with a victory over Blunderland and, worst of all, Fulham beat United, close up to a point behind us, and give Liverpool and Chelsea extra incentive to pull off a result at Upton Park.

I am not too fussed about qualifying for Europe personally (the competition is absurd already and becomes even more stupid next season) but I do want to see some progress on last year and, if we are not careful, we could find ourselves back in tenth before the season ends. That really would be galling if only because Turds could smugly point to the fact that the club had "stagnated" since his departure.

Of course, Zola can only influence our own results but, as they say, over a full season, your position in the table does not lie. Back in October I predicted Tottenham would finish above us and I fear that will happen. They are on a roll and with Keane back and firing, they are a match for anybody. In fact, but for that terrible start, they would be in contention for a Champions League place. Personally, I'm in favour of West Ham building a statue of Oneday Ramos because without his contribution, Tottenham would definitely be back in Europe next season!

Let's hope the return of Dyer and Cole will see us banging in the goals again. It is a sobering thought that under boring boring Curbishley we scored 42 goals last season, whereas so far this season we have managed just 35, 8 of which were scored BEFORE Zola became manager. That gives Zola a return of just 27 goals from 26 league games, or one a game, less than we managed under Turds. Stats don't lie and for all our pretty approach play, our "goals for" tally is woeful.

Some will stupidly blame Cole for that or point the finger at Di Michele, but the strikers can only score if the team creates chances - and how many openings did we create against West Brom and Blackburn? Dyer may be part of the solution, as may be the return of Collison but to score more, we need to commit more players forward. Clarke is a cleverer version of Curbishley, a member of the safety first, "one point is better than none, if the opposition don't score we can't lose" school of tactics. I would like to see the shackles off at some point soon. Let's trade blows and see if we can score more than the opposition. I would take tenth with free flowing football over 7th secured by circling the wagons and parking the caravan.

Come on Zola, rev up the Ferrari and tell Clarke to leave the brown Volvo in the garage!

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

"Personally, I'm in favour of West Ham building a statue of Alex Ferguson, Rafa Benitez and every single sports journalist because without their contribution in illegally tapping up Berbatov and Keane, Tottenham would definitely be back in Europe next season!"

Fixed it for you.

Anonymous said...

Yup, us 'cocky fools' are coming to get you, you cockney pricks.

Balders said...

Sigh...you're wrong again. We played 3 up front at Blackburn for the first half. How is that not 'the shackles off'?!

Hammersfan said...

I like the cut of your jib balders. The problem was the three up front. Its was 4-3-3, come 4-4-2, come 4-5-1. The formation was born of necessity given Sears inability to perform at Prem level at the moment, Tristan's inability to perform at the level ever again, Di Michele's inconsistency and Rigor Mortis's complete lack of punch in front of goal. Ambitious selection would have involved Savio and Stanislas in my book.

Anonymous said...

"cocky fools"? Spurs message boards have been awash all season with numpty Spammers giving it the large,yet we're "cocky". Even your Board was trying to have their smug little digs!We're are coming to get you and he who laughs last ,laughs loudest.Fairplay to the author in the fact that he at least has some shred of honesty..But if/when we we over take you ,then most will deserve everything they get!

Anonymous said...

First time poster short time reader. Fanny, thanks for the nice allegations about me posting about sending sick messages to you on a previous post. It weren't me. Anyhow, i'll accept your apology!!! Bet you're so glad Spuds now making a comeback so you can gloat about them finishing above us, sorry thats us West Ham supporters. Wrighty

Anonymous said...

You have actually stated that you don't care about qualifying for Europe as long as you finish above the mighty Spurs. Do the Premiership a favour and get yourselves relegated (again) because the only place your lack of ambition and lack of good football belongs is the Championship. Pathetic little club with stupid, bitter fans.
P.S. Loved watching us beat you at Upton Park this season. Will be at the Lane to see us turn you over again.
P.P.S. I don't care if I prove your point about cocky Spurs fans. We're just better than you.

Anonymous said...

Yawn.

What was the point in you writing this? Other than to point out you admire Spurs; are jealous of Spurs; and that you're cacking it Spurs are going to finish above you?

Yeah thought so. Whatever happens, if the spammers finish above spurs, it's like they've won a bloody trophy. If Spurs finish higher...well, it's just like finishing above Hull, Wigan, Stoke - in fact any inferior club. Cocky? You betcha.

Hammersfan said...

LOL Welcome on board to the Cockyfools! Try to keep the language clean though lads, kids might read this site and we don't want them thinking that Tottenham fans just hurl obscenities do we? The nickname was devised to try to stop West Ham fans on the mordant org using the Y word in malice. Personally, I am uncomfortable with the racist overtones when the Y word comes from the mouths of rival fans. To be fair, it is not lack of ambition that leads me to be ambivalent about the Europa League. 'Arry himself is as was shown by picking a reserve team in the competition ahead of a Cup Final, the only purpose of which is to qualify for the Europa League anyway. Explain the logic of that! Yes I want to finish above Tottenham but I want to finish above City and Wigan too if we can. It would be especially galling to finish behind Tottenham given the head start you gave us. Mind you, if we had your money to spend...

Hammersfan said...

To Wrighty, should you look in again, apologies. See if you can find out who the obscene moron is and ask your mate Nev to ban him. Or give him Animal Hero Second Class more likely!!!! Cheers, Snowball! PS Have you worked out who I am on the mordant org yet?

Hammersfan said...

Anonymous 1 - A Tottenham fan complaining about tapping up? LOL You tapped up Bobby Moore before the 1966 World Cup Finals. 'Arry does more tapping than a convention of blind men with white sticks!

Anonymous said...

Glory glory Tottenham Hotspur!

Oi spammers? See the Chelsea-Spurs result? Is this why you wrote this?

hahahahahahahahahaha. What a day!

Super super Lukaaaaa Modric.
Super super Lukaaaaa Modric.

Anonymous said...

As comments from our illiterate north London rivals have been allowed, I assume I'm welcome to have a little word?
My son's a hammer and so I've been informed of their progress regularly over the years. I must say I've been impressed with Zola, if you can keep him your future looks good. He's said himself that he is basing his philosophy on the Wenger model and as someone who spent years suffering under George Graham and the "one nil to the Arsenal " mentality, let me say that it's a Rolls Royce rather than a Skoda. Good luck to you, did Spurs win this week? I have to say I did not see it!

Anonymous said...

We think Big Sam should stick to driving the fire-engine.

Anonymous said...

Who do you think you are kidding Mr. Nixon / If you think we're on the run. / We are the boys who like to talk the game / but you've locked us out the room and it's such a bleedin' shame / So, who do you think you are kidding Mr. Nixon / We're only trying to have some fun!/
Mr. Brown goes off to town / along the old A10 / but he comes home each evening and he's ready with his pen / So, who do you think you are kidding Mr. Nixon / if you think old Vernon's done.

Hammersfan said...

Gunners on board now. All are welcome, even Cockyfools who can only dribble gloats!