Friday 7 September 2012

Leeds United's Official Site Confirms What Every Leeds Fan Fears


Yep. Yesterday was the the day apparently. Well today was the day actually but like all the todays before it, that today is now yesterday and yesterday all Leeds United's fans' troubles seemed so far away, but now they're here and baby here to stay, for Leeds fans believed in yesterday!

How appropriate that on yesterday's today, the much lamented today of the great take over, the Official Site made a stunning announcement. Big news breaking! Take off time! All aboard! Who needs Master Bates' Elland Road when you have...

Flamingo Land. Yes folks, it was all quiet on the take over front yet again, but Leeds United were happy to announce a new ride has opened at the local amusement park. Well, with Warnock in charge, you have to find entertainment somewhere don't you?

And how appropriate that the ride is called Pterodactyl - a dinosaur ride for a dinosaur club some might say. An ugly vicious creature that once scaled the heights but which is now - other than in the imagination of some - as extinct as a dodo.

Perched appropriately close to Cliff Hanger - and the fans might hang poor old Cliff for taking the piss should he ever turn up and sing Congratulations - the ride promises to "combine high altitude thrills" with "soaring and swooping" - well guys, what goes up, must come down. Like the Take Over Balloon perhaps?

Join the ride, and you will quickly feel as if you have "truly taken flight as you quickly rise" - well seventh in the Championship is likely to give you a nose bleed if you are a Leeds fan! - before you "circle and circle above the crowds below moving ever further to horizontal"! How appropriate!

A dinosaur ride for a dinosaur club moving in ever more horizontal circles! The "very sight of it" apparently creates "spine tingling fear to rival its prehistoric namesake". Mind you, parallels end there because to term Elland Road "stone age theming" is perhaps overdoing it. Iron Age surely? The natives can use basic tools and have evolved communication in the form of hand gestures and grunting!

Perhaps it is time for a new logo for a new era, a pterodactyl and a flamingo standing guard over the portals of Elland Road, the stone age reality of extinction side by side with the pink fluffy symbol of hope, teetering precariously upon one snap thin leg.

But never mind guys, today is the day for the takeover!

Alton Towers are closing in on Flamingo Land!

64 comments:

Anonymous said...

A truly desperate article. Even more desperate than a certain club posting a certain article about a certain amusement park.

Anonymous said...

I normaly think your a twat but i think you have this one right. By the way ya mam was good last night

Anonymous said...

Before all the other Leeds fans show up to throw insults I thought I'd point out that I've followed LEEDS all too closely since a nipper, I left GODS COUNTRY (for we are all Gods raised in Yorkshire) many years ago, and have to follow the drips of news from afar in Canada. Because of this, I'll read any old shite that has LUFC in it, including your blog. While usually asinine and bland, occasionally your posts do have a bit of whit. Congrats. As many point out though, you must find WHAM dull as fuck, to keep all your best bits for a club you claim to dislike. Keep me laughing at (not with) you you silly shandy drinking wanker. MOT.

Anonymous said...

Maybe its there way of telling us that we have been taken for a ride ..

Anonymous said...

Did you set your alarm early just so you could be the first bit of news regarding Leeds United this morning, or did the excitement keep you up all night?

Seriously, what is your obsession with Leeds? I've never met a hammers fan before that was more interested in Leeds than their own club before now.

You are an embarrassment to your club but I'll try not to hold it against the rest of your clubs real fans, I'm sure they are keen to distance themselves from your purile behavior. Why don't you just move up north and have done with it?

Anonymous said...

Knob...

Anonymous said...

Very good best takeover read in months do u work for the sun if not u should keep up the good work love Leeds hate bates

Anonymous said...

DIE OF CANCER LIKE DADDY DID.xxx

Anonymous said...

Closet leeds fan

Anonymous said...

Unusual for a troll to have a whole website. desperate for attention much?

Anonymous said...

Your foray into eastern europe good then tranny ? Hostal enjoyment no doubt!!!

Anonymous said...

I cant wait until your lot go bankcrupt, it will give me so much pleasure, but guess what you wont see any leeds fans blogging about a little club in east ham, why ? bcos nobody give two monkeys about your club.....keep writing your blogs, its the only way your going to get any hits on your page. MOT

Anonymous said...

Leeds 2 blogs Wet tran utd 0.. Chick with a dik loves Leeds especialy when HM takes her walkies!! Oh and stop putting posts up trying to make out we want you to die of cancer.. We just want you to die of anything cnut!!

Anonymous said...

Faggot

Anonymous said...

Ha ha - I saw that article yesterday

fendamien said...

It is quite obvious that there is more than just one troll contributing to this blog. Strange how the majority of them are written just before school or at lunchtime.
The Southern Fairy authours really need to take a look at themselves. If LUFC are extinct then why do you bother writing about us? Why do you feel the need to justify yourselves by vilifying our club? Why are you checking our club site?
I can assure you that the majority of Leeds fans don't even know WHU web address nor do they want it.
I suggest you concentrate on your SATS and keeping out of the way of your Mokney father, who likes to play hide the sausage with you.
Grow up and keep trying to fornicate with yourselves. Or why not just waste your time supporting your own team? Whoever they may be.

Hammersfan said...

0709, we are two hours ahead in Bucharest. But you clearly look in on this site just before you lock away your torch and finish for the night as a night watchman.

Anonymous said...

Your real name is Tracey Scott, cockney transvestite who works as a rentboy around Upton Park on match days. You write this blog due to the frustration you feel at not being a real man like we Yorkshiremen are, instead you're just a dress wearing southern fairy.

Anonymous said...

i saw the flamingo land story yesterday n i wondered how long till u used it.ow sad you are! leasr we get a discount! jealous much?

Anonymous said...

Silly cockney twat ! That article was abit desperate wasn't it,is that realy the best you've got or did you have abit of time on your hands Until you go train spotting again with the local nutcase coz that's the only friend you've got ?

Anonymous said...

See you dirty cockneys got your money's worth with Andy carroll we will always be a bigger club MOT

Anonymous said...

CANCER KILLS

Anonymous said...

west hams biggest fan that never goes

Anonymous said...

pussy hammers fan !!!!

Anonymous said...

Why didn't you just say it doesn't look as though there will be a takeover, instead of all the drivel. Do you like writing rubbish, silly question. This will be the last time I will comment and all you leeds lads please do the same, please don't let this fella get to you, he'll soon go away.

Anonymous said...

Hiya HF, firstly, let me tell you how it it. Bates is a thieving cockney, the reason this takeover may not go through is because he ( thieving cockney) is as bent as a nine bob note, and he wont have anything to do with the indemnity clause (cos he's a thieving cockney). Now, the problem is,is how do we get rid of him (the thieving cockney). Now as you're so intelligent surely you have some ideas on the subject, with you being a cockney too, so get you're thinking cap on and let all us northern morons hear your ideas. There we go, something for you to do on a night instead of going down soho.

Dagenham Dave said...

I do admire Leeds fans, because there isn't a more delusional set of 'fans' in the Country and it takes a lot to be ahead of thoise nuggets at Spurs.

Face facts girls, you haven't been a big Club for decades, you flirted once when Ridsdale nearly bankrupted your Club over a decade ago and you all turned up to put over 30,000 in your run down ground.

The good times, all three years of them came and went as did the 'fans', you now struggle to get over 20,000. Last year the only team with an average of over 30,000 was West Ham, who coincidentally are a Premiership Club.

Leeds have gone back to being a provincial Club in a shithole of a town and the only reason you get 20,000 at your games is because you're a one club town and the othger Yorkshire clubs nearby are as useless as you lot

Pathetic Club with pathetic 'supporters'

Anonymous said...

Retards out again . boring window licker .

Anonymous said...

I'm gonna get Vinny to get you, he never lost his love for Leeds utd,and he loves us nowvena's lolololololololol.

Anonymous said...

Maybe its because your a leeds fan, that you love leeds so,
maybe its because when you think of us, you want to be one with us,
the best supported team you know

Anonymous said...

08.13, no he has a thing for Warnock, he must have knocked west ham back to come to the mighty Leeds.

AppyAmmer said...

LOL can I just say I think this is really funny!

Also would like to say I think the point written by HF "The natives can use basic tools and have evolved communication in the form of hand gestures and grunting!" that is very appropiate given the quality of responses.

All you have all done is thrown insults at the man and used really childish ones as well. Oh no you called him a tranny lol grow up!

It is true that they were written before school was started so it looks like they could be kids writing this. How embarrssing either way that the kids are the only one standing up for the old has been club.

Kepp up good work HF

Anonymous said...

You are a first class Tube!! You love Leeds so much you make the most rubbish I have ever read!! Get a life mate hammers are always the same old yo yo club!!

Anonymous said...

Wank wipe. Yer mam blows my horn from one end and bubbles from the other.

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear about your father. Maybe that's why you have these idiotic tendencies

Anonymous said...

Hammersfan, the banters fun and I completely detest the cancer "jokes". However don't make fun of someone cause they might not have as much money as you, its tastless and makes you look like a bit of a dick to be honest.

Anonymous said...

Leeds United's Official Site Confirms What Every Leeds Fan Fears

Another boring, predictable, bad written, sucky article from a cockney twat!

Anonymous said...

another boring article from a cockney bastard with no life leeds will always be bigger than a little team from the east end we all love leeds MOT

Anonymous said...

Love to say I read it all but like usual got bored after the 1st paragraph! Get a life
Dagenham Dave, you'd know all about shitholes, living in one and also loving them like you do.

Anonymous said...

what are you on? i think you have way too much time on your hands. go support your own club and stop been a great big knob!

Anonymous said...

Dagenham dave? Can't you think of an original name? Dagenham dickhead? The original dagenham dave passed away years ago. Why don't you join him? You call Leeds United and its Supporters pathetic? You support a club that exists solely to make the numbers up and to provide cannon fodder for the bigger clubs. Last week you were all wetting your pants when you got a carthorse on loan,only for him to injure himself yet again which will put him out for at least a month. Then it emerged that he'll more than likely return home in january. Put you hand on your head and feel a tit.

Anonymous said...

His dad was lucky!! It was the only way he could get away from his annoying prick of a son, he even refused treatment.

Anonymous said...

Good work, a good effort at some banter - if I had written this and wasn't a Leeds fan i'd be proud of my efforts. Just one thing though, what does up must come down? You should have more confidence in your own team stayin in the Prem but like you say it is inevitable.

Anonymous said...

Lifelong leedsfan.still like your blog.show some sense of houmor people.

Anonymous said...

Dagenham Dave...a clever thought out posting, in a similar vein to other Dagenham intellectuals such as Stacey Solomon, John Terry, Ross Kemp....the list goes on....

Whatever you have to say about Yorkshire folk at least
we did not give the world

Jellied eels
Flat beer
Pearly kings and queens
Cockney twats like you and Hammerhead fan

Ever been in the Champions league? NO
Ever been league champions?NO
Ever been in the European Cup? NO
Ever got heavily beaten by Leeds on your own patch? YES - record home premier league defeat hahahahaha

Have fun, see you later dahling



Anonymous said...

Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.

Friedrich Nietzsche

Anonymous said...

I HOPE YOUR DAD DIES OF CANCER TOO !!

Anonymous said...

Did you mean to say KEEP UP mr EDUCATION ???

Anonymous said...

To Dagenham Dave.How in the hell can you slag leeds, you probably dont know where it is, well its in yorkshire mate. Now Dagenham, well i used to go to Fords, what a shithole, couldnt get unloaded cos they only did 5 a day, bone idle tw^^s, thats why they packed up and went, cos of you bone idle shits. Don't brag about Dagenham lad, you want to keep it quiet, cos i would. i used to go to the containerbase too, just off the A13, thieving bastards, I never got a full load cos half of it was missing, and you slag leeds off you tart.

Anonymous said...

Do I sense a bit of jealousy there, Dagenham Dave??

Anonymous said...

ur a twat

Anonymous said...

Leeds is a city dick head as for a run down ground have you took a good look around your ground it's a shit hole that's why you lot want to move to the running track we have invested in our ground our new boxes cost delph ! Howson! Gradel! Snodgras ! And a few more your a knob I hope you get bates as your chairman it wild be a perfect match

Anonymous said...

Your just a soft cockney bastard

Anonymous said...

It's a shame the paedo's tour of Romanian orphanages is not keeping you fully occupied.

Anonymous said...

hahaa funny if we are that extinct stop going on about us! just come out matee some of us may give you a second chance if you tell the truth and how much you love LEEDSS!! West ham will be rubber ducked soon when there debt gets to high and they cant handle it.

Anonymous said...

When the takeover happens - will you do the decent thing, Dr Weevil - clap a pistol in your mouth and call in the decorators?

Anonymous said...

West Ham....... i need not to add an insult. Small time club with a fragmented history....... just plain shite

Anonymous said...

Another cockend bubble blowing retarded spunk breath dog abusing chas and dave cnut . jog on numbskull .

Anonymous said...

"West Ham....... i need not to add an insult. Small time club with a fragmented history....... just plain shite"

Oh, come on now, this is pure unadulterated classic shite, surely?

Anonymous said...

Yu are such a sad twat, that you have no 'home' news or interest to post on.

If it weren't for you, we'd all be out in our flat caps and clogs beating up our wives and girfriends and then taking our whippets out for walks...

...might be boring but it's better than beating up ourselves, tossing ourselves off, and picking fun of other teams like you have to resort to do.....

Anonymous said...

"0709, we are two hours ahead in Bucharest"

Is that what you call the arse end of London these days...???

Anonymous said...

So many comments, so little response, I wonder why....

I also notice you have not a single wet spam comment on this post other than your own...

...says a lot about this shite site, doesn't it?

Anonymous said...

Delusional Dave from Dagenham might want to re visit the meaning of his prefix.There is only one set of fans telling the world that they won the world cup in 1966.Same set of fans that have NEVER seen their team be champions of the country.Nope.Not never ! Fitting legacy for the paralympics that Wet Sham take the Olypmic stadium .

Anonymous said...

Fulham,Palace,QPR,Millwall,Charlton,Orient,Wimbledon,Wet Sham,Barnet and Watford.All members of the NEVER to have been league champions club.Can you see a link here ? Geographical maybe ? Throw in Spurs as well and Leeds have won it MORE than all these put together. Must have All been busy blowing bubbles eh ?