Saturday, 10 March 2012

Allardyce Loses His Marbles!

Bloody hell, the guy has gone mad! You can see him in his office with a jigsaw puzzle, desperately trying to fit together all the bits! I need Nolan. I need Taylor. I need Cole. I need Vaz Te. I need five in midfield. I need McCartney. I need Faye and Tomkins. I need Lansbury. I need Collison. I've got it! Oh shit no, I need Green as well. Shit what do I do, what do I do? Taylor at left back. Yes. Shit where do I play McCartney? Right back. Yes right back will do. Hasn't got a right foot which is why we call him Linda and can't cross off his left - his good one - but what the fcuk? He's right back! It works! They all fit! Here's the team (mad laugh), here's the answer (even madder laugh), I've solved the riddle! And I'll have Morrison on the bench!

Thunder clap, flash of lightning.

The team:


McCartney, Tomkins, Faye, Taylor

Collison, Lansbury, Nolan, Noble, Vaz Te


Could shift to


Tomkins, Faye, McCartney

Lansbury                                         Taylor
Collison  Noble


Cole         Vaz Te

If it works, great! If it doesn't, the guys in white coats could be taking Allardyce down to an institute in Purfleet when the final whistle blows, to sit in a cell eating flies!


Anonymous said...

Starting line up didn't make sense... Sounds like an academy coach trying to see what his players are capable of in positions which are not supposedly theirs...

And that is why Doncaster got away with a goal.... and a point....

Anonymous said...

Blooy useless home form,we can't even over take the scummers now with our game in hand,reading wining yet again,it looking like play off time for us hammers well pissed off with our strikers so shite,same old same old being a west ham fan,not happy!