Sunday 10 October 2010

Carlton Cole to join Match of the Day panel!


Carlton has revealed that being dropped from Capello's squad came as no surprise, that he was even expecting the axe. Goodness me, such foresight, such prescience!

You do wonder how Cole reached this conclusion ahead of the announcement. No goals scored, a missed penalty, unable to get into the team of the club that currently sits at the bottom of the Premiership - and Carlton managed, through incredible powers of deduction, to conclude that Capello would not see him as the man to lead England's attack!

It seems to me that Carlton must have a career in football punditry. With this uncanny ability to understand the sub text of the game, he is surely ideally qualified to join messers Hansen, Shearer, Lawrence and Lineker. Of course, Alan and Gary could have no end of fun comparing their scoring records at club and international level with Carlton's and the two former Liverpool centre backs would revel in reminding Cole of how many times in his career he has scored against Woy's Weds - once in a West Ham shirt, in a 2-3 home defeat.

18 comments:

IG said...

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Hammersfan said...

Wake up IG, Tom Hanks is behind you!

Scrapper said...

Great post. Really, really great post.

You do have a penchant for pictures of bare male flesh don't you?

At least Dale is brave enough to admit to what he is. Maybe that's why he's soooooo much more popular than you.

Anonymous said...

9/10 on the boring index, sorry

Hammersfan said...

Insecure about your sexuality Scrapper? Worried that looking at the male torso might turn you? I bet you secretly look for pictures of lady boys don't you? Why do you feel the need to comment on Dale's presumed sexual preferences I wonder? The picture was carried in the Daily Telegraph by the way so that must make all the Tory readers of the Telegraph gay. Hang on...they are!


For my part, I can appreciate Carlton's physique in terms of athletic perfection without getting arroused. But if he were to unclasp those hands....

Anonymous said...

Check out thte hits counter. nearly 700k hits is not impressive as most are return visitors over a length of time. This website is visited by so few people compared to the proper sites like Kumb and Westhamonline its embarasing. Even west ham till i die gets plenty more comments and the owner even has his own radio show. Crap site 9/10 for boringness. Do another Zola story pleaseeeeeeeeee

Anonymous said...

You protest a bit too much Hammersfan. Have you finally got something interesting to tell?

IG said...

Tom Hanks looks like he's been sent packing. I have been posting regularly on the org for the last year, you spotted me yet?

Anonymous said...

It's refreshing for a footballer to speak honesty and openly about his form when things aren't going his way. To accept he has not been performing well enough to earn another call-up, to take being dropped from the first team at West Ham as a wake-up call, and to use it to spur him on is just what we need at the club.

So this is great to hear from Carlton Cole.

Of coarse it is no surprise to see HF doing what he does best and having a moan regardless.

Anonymous said...

This site's gone to the dogs - you're running out of ideas, there's nothing new and you just recycle old ideas - you still mention Zola and Scotty Parker at every opportunity -

I think you're getting stale, tedious, dull and ever so tiresome.... you should shut this down and do yourself a favour as you're a laughingstock.

Zzzzzzzzzzzz

Shaun said...

That picture was originally for a photo shoot in support of the male cancer charity, Everyman, which does fantastic work in the fight against prostate and testicular cancer, and appeared in the June 2009 issue of Cosmopolitan. Fair play to Coley for that I say!

In your previous post you claim to be a fan of Cole HF, yet here you clearly mock him, albeit indirectly and tongue-in-cheek! But, nonetheless, you attempt to portray him as the least brightest spark from the grinder shall we say?!

His willingness to pose for that shot in support of such a great cause would indicate that he's no fool HF so it's a little inappropriate to use it to accompany a cheap swipe at his intelligence don't you think?

Let's face it mate, Carlton earns more in ONE week than you 'manage' to accumulate in ONE whole calendar year, so he's doing something right don't you reckon?!
Oh, and the MOTD pundit and former Liverpool centre-back is Lawrenson, not 'Lawrence'! Even Carlton knows that!!

Hammersfan said...

It was intended more as a piss take of MOTD actually Shaun and of journalists turning this into a story. Cole could have had zero expectation of selection, surely? Did I call him Lawrence? Bloody typos, I should work for the Guardian!

You are right, I am a fan of Carlton, though his form has been poor, as he admits, since his knee injury. I'm worried that he hasn't fully recovered. Ashton looked similarly laboured when he attempted a come back when not fully fit didn't he?

I didn't realise the picture was taken for the purposes of promoting awareness of prostrate cancer. Well done Carlton! I bet the picture has gone down well in the gay community though. That is an impressive body isn't it? And Carlton has bucket hands so what is concealed may be of epic proportions!

IG, why are you posting under a different name, if indeed you are. Did Mr Hanks put the wind up you?

0745, Tesco do not count return visitors apparently. Viewing figures for Eastenders only count first time visitors too apparently! West Ham don't count season ticket holders in their gate returns after the first game of the season. Repeat visitors don't count you see. Pillock! You do say some stupid things! And out of interest, why do YOU keep coming back? Too stupid to use personal discretion perhaps?

Anonymous said...

Tom Hanks and Hammersfan = TOTAL AND COMPLETE WANKERS!! Both really poor posters who are not knowledable just tedious!! And extremely ignorant.Sorry guys but the sensible decent fans always see through you in the end!

Hammersfan said...

Why do you come here then 2054?

Anonymous said...

Because its lovely to see you and "Tom" continue to be bits of human excrement.It really is.

Anonymous said...

Boring!!!!

Hammersfan said...

I don't think Tom has been on here for 12 months or so now.

Anonymous said...

"You dont think"! Lol