Tuesday 26 October 2010

Where is Upson's backbone?



I am getting right royally cheesed orf with Matty Upson's "One has a twinge in one's body so one needs to be wrapped in cotton wool" attitude. Two weeks ago, he missed the game against Wolves because of a pain in his neck and on Saturday, he went down on his arse and refused to play on because of a bit of heat in his hamstring.

What sort of captain is he exactly? When the going gets tough, Upson sits on his backside, shakes his head and refuses to play on. I knew there was no point in sending on the physio on Saturday - you could have sent on an army load of medics and none of them would have persuaded Matty that he was fit for active service. When the guy feels a twinge, that's it, he is far too precious to play on! One word, without any physical examination, and the rolling hands signal was given. But was Matty stretchered off? Nope. Did he even limp when he walked from the field? Not a bit of it. Did you see one single wince of pain? Nah. Remember the Bolton game when Matty got a kick in the face? Did we see him do a Terry Butcher and return blooded but brave? No chance!

We now read that he is expected to be fit for the Arsenal game. Big bloody deal! Personally, I would rather have had him on the pitch for the remainder of the Newcastle game; perhaps then, we might have defended that Carroll goal a little better than we did. At least Ilunga wouldn't have been on the bloody pitch!

This isn't the first time Upson has pulled a sicky in mid game and, unless he gets a proverbial rocket up his arse, it won't be the last either. The guy has psychological problems, which explains his need of that Yellow Pages Witch Doctor who performs minor miracles to get him on the pitch in the first place apparently. Without the Yellow Pages boot padding (why a boot cannot be specially manufactured to the designs of a podiatrist is beyond me), Upson would no doubt be a paid up member of the Dyer and Hitzlespurger club!

Talking of which, what was Dyer's latest excuse?

8 comments:

H4MM3R said...

well there are two kinds of players. There are those who stay on the pitch what ever it costs - even if they suffer a serious injury and are out for months. On the other hand there are players like Upson that decide to come off the pitch earlier which might avoid a serious injury. Both types have pros and cons - it could probably go well and the player finishes the game with an excellent performance. But it could also happen that he has to be replaced just minutes after the injury appeared what might affect the time he needs for full recovery.

Hammersfan said...

There are 3 types actually mate - there's the Dyer and Hitzlespurger type who rarely, if ever, get on the pitch in the first place!

Anonymous said...

how come you only blog in the daytime during school holidays?? You claimed not to be a teacher?

Anonymous said...

What a tosser you are fella. So you're saying that if a player gets injured he should stay on the pitch and both be ineffective and also risk further, more serious, injury - which could lead to a longer spell on the treatment table.

How many times has an injured player stayed on and been ineffective and the fans bay for the managers head - seeking a fitter player to replace them.

Hitz's injury (the muscle peeling off the bone) is a bit more serious than back ache - so for god's sake leave off the fella.

Dyer was excellent at the start of the season and, yes, some players need wrapping up. Not every footballer's body is a temple. It is natural that people's bodies react differently to the same injury.

Suppose you had your hands broken and couldn't type, would you still type this blog with your toes(actually given the self importance that you seem to put on your blog you probably would).

Stop singling out a couple of individuals. I suppose your next blog will be about Collison or Hines being out for too long...

You should wish those that are injured well so they can soon enhance our team.

Hammersfan said...

LOL 1557, you get the award for the understatement of the century with: "Dyer was excellent at the start of the season and, yes, some players need wrapping up. Not every footballer's body is a temple. It is natural that people's bodies react differently to the same injury". Not a temple! Needs wrapping up! Never mind wrapping up, Dyer needs zipping up, the guy needs a bleedin' body bag! And Hitzlespurger looks like a Dyer Mark 2! Or an Ashton Mark 3! We signed all three with a history of long term injury problems. Will the club never learn? And the same applies to Upson too! How many starts did he make in the Great Escape season? Two!

There is a middle ground you know. There is such a thing as playing through a pain barrier. Yes players can sometimes take that too far and need to be protected from themselves, but the likes of Dyer, Anderton and Upson could do with playing a game of rugby to see what it is like to play with pain. For God sake, rugby players wouldn't make it on to the pitch more than half a dozen times a season if they gave in to "injury" as often as Dyer and Upson. The pair need to grow some bollocks!

1359, Don't think I blogged during the day yesterday did I? It may have passed you by but my wife is very ill and in hospital at the moment. I have taken a few days leave to make hospital visits and do her jobs around the house. I do have access to a PC at work by the way. Like you, I assume? And I would guess teachers can use PCs during the day too can't they? It's not as if they are rushed off their feet is it, starting at 9 and finishing at bloody 3!

Headmaster said...

HF, I'll let you off the dig at the noble profession!
The Dyer body bag line gets wheeze of the day - top draw mate.
As for Upson, I take your point absolutely. He does seem to cry off at the first sign of a sniffle don't he?
He epitomised a total lack of commitment by the whole sorry shower on Saturday.
1557 may think it's all fine and dandy to shell out tens of thousands a week on players that keel over at the sight of a blade of grass but I don't. In any other walk of life these prima donnas would have been put out to grass long ago (I'm talking Dyer now - said the same re Ashton for about 18 months before someone finally 'phoned HR and put an end to both his, the club's and our mutual misery!)

Hammersfan said...

Bloody hell, that was brave re Ashton. The stick I got on here for suggesting he would never play again! Duxbury says, blah, blah, blah!

Headmaster said...

It's all documented in OLAS, mate. Seemed f##kin obvious to me!