Gold Fingers West Ham As Takeover Target

David Gold is either playing silly buggers or genuinely holds out hope of taking over his hometown club. Stopping only just short of saying he is on the brink of a bid, Gold explained,

'At our age we're beginning to think we don't want to go too far so I believe, if anything goes through, it would be a southern club where we would all like to settle down and spend the rest of our time.'

'Everybody has financial difficulties at the moment and would welcome anyone with a football background and a lot of money.'

'I was born in Stepney and by the time I was three I was living across the road from Upton Park. I went to Burke Secondary Modern after failing my 11-pluses.'

'I have to admit I hated jellied eels, probably the only person in the East End who felt this way. But I did like pie and mash.'

The guy sure packs in some cliches there, even down to the East End tradition about failing in academia - "I aint got no O Levels and only went to one university, the bleedin' university of life!" Any genuine East Enders looking in to the blog might like to confirm whether or not they like jellied eyes - I can't abide them so David is not as unique as he thinks. For the record, I think pie & mash is somewhat over-rated too when offered by the traditional shops. Give me a ruby every day of the week!

Do we want him? Well he has to be better than C&B Holdings and the bankruptcy courts. Do I fancy Karen Brady? Not a lot, but she has to be an improvement on the tranny that BG arrived with on his arm and than Duxbury in a dress. In fact, the idea of Duxbury having to clear his desk for a woman fills me with glee! What's more, Karen must be moving into that age bracket where Rooney might fancy a piece of the action. When he is out of contract, we could say, "We can't match the wages Ferguson is offering but you could have the CEO every Tuesday and Wednesday night." Actually, if that deal was struck, I would prefer it if Duxbury was still in position!

My only worry looking at the recent pictures is that this may not be the real David Gold. The guy is almost ugly enough to be Eggert in a wig and a false beard!