Upon The Demise of Sheffield United

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let pigeons circle crapping overhead
Shitting on the Cortinas the message They Are Dead,
Put red striped bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the benefit cheat investigators wear black cotton gloves.

They were my North, my North, my North and Scum,
My unemployed week and my Sunday rum,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought the Championship would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: they've left, every one;
Pack up the kit and dismantle the squad;
Pour away the lager and sweep up the dead wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good!

And to think, on the very same day that Shafting United sank to the third tier of English football, Warnock won the title in the Championship - with an Argie signed on a Third Party Agreement! You couldn't write it could you?

I do hope the Blunted Blades fans enjoy playing Yeovil, Chesterfield, Hartlepool and Leyton Orient next season!