Man Utd and Arsenal are the New British Rail!

Remember those old excuses from British Rail? They bought machinery to clear leaves from the lines, then come the next autumn the trains didn't run and we were told, "They were the wrong type of leaves". Then there was the British Rail snowplough that didn't work because it was the "wrong type of snow"! British Rail became a laughing stock, the butt of every stand up comic's joke. They were getting there, but "there" was a terminus called Ridicule!

Now Arsenal and Manchester United look set to claim the British Rail mantle of absurdity. According to a bleating Fergie, he picked his team based, not on the strengths or weaknesses of the opposition, but on the "deadness" of the pitch. Wenger, meanwhile, has jumped on the bandwagon, claiming Wembley will "never" have a pitch suitable for a "good match". What absolute and complete tosh! Have you ever encountered grapes sourer than these? Arsenal and Manchester United didn't go out of the Cup because of the state of the pitch but because, in Arsenal's case, Wenger's bloody mindedness has stopped him buying a keeper worthy of a top 4 team, and in the Mancs' case, because over paid primadonnas can't tuck away a penalty when the pressure is on. Don't blame the pitch you pillocks, look in the mirror!

Wembley will never have a pitch suitable for a good match? So every single Derby County game played under Clough and Dave Mackay was rubbish was it? From late October to the end of the season, the Baseball Ground pitch resembled the trenches of the Somme, but somehow Clough and Mackay managed to persuade their players to play an attractive passing game, securing the League Title in the process. "Dead and Spongy", dear God, I would love to see these pampered buffoons play on the pitches of the 60s & 70s! When West Ham overcame Manchester United to reach the 64 Final, the pitch was such a mud bath that you could barely tell the two teams apart by the end of the game. Did Busby complain after the match? No, the guy had more dignity. If his team could rise from the ashes of the Munich air crash, he wasn't going to bleat about a muddy pitch and use it as an excuse for a defeat. Let's face it, the pitch is the same for both sides!

If a West Ham manager moaned in this way, I would feel ashamed. Roeder famously signed his dismissal when he took the team back to the hotel to change because the away dressing room was not up to standard. Look at Zola, eight players ruled out by injury and does he look for an excuse? Does he heck, he just smiles and purrs about his team of kids and old nags rising to the challenge.

The fact is, both Arsenal and Manchester United were found wanting this weekend. In Arsenal's case, they lacked the quality to defeat Chelsea; in Manchester United's case, they lacked respect for the competition. I am so glad that Everton knocked them out. If Ferguson thinks his team is too big for the competition then he should take a running jump.

This has simply confirmed what we have always known, that although they are undoubtedly great winners, Ferguson and Wenger are the most appalling losers. That is why they will never hold a torch to the true greats of the game - Busby, Paisley and Clough. Clough complain about the pitch? Clough pick a side based on the deadness of the turf? I can hear him now, "Listen sonny, Revie might blame the pitch but we just go and play whatever the conditions!"