Wednesday 1 April 2009

Shearer Nonsense! Wake Me Up When You Go Go!

Can you Adam and Eve it? King Kev is dead, long live King Al! How many times has Shearer turned down the job at Newscastle? Now with zero personal accountability because he can't buy and can't sell and so has a ready made excuse for failure, he walks back into Newscastle on a "Heads I win, Tails I win" basis. Newscastle avoid the drop and it will all be down to Shearer; Newscastle go down, well what chance did the lad stand with only eight games to save them?

Remember how Curbishley claimed the credit for saving us on the back of the Great Escape? The truth of the matter is, of course, that his appalling management took us to the brink and beyond, only for a miraculous series of beneficial coincidences, triggered by the goal that never was at Blackburn, to save us. If Newscastle do go down, Shearer will have played just as big a negative part as Curbishley because he has behaved in an incredibly selfish way all season, flirting with the job and, in the process, undermining the incumbents. Now he returns like the Messiah, walking on the Tyne, safe in the knowledge that he can only take the plaudits, not the brickbats.

I do hope he falls flat on his face. He has bored us senseless on Match of The Day so I struggle to see how he can be inspirational in the dressing room. What's that noise drowning out your team talk Alan? Snoring?

Or is this all an April Fool? Hang on, I laughed at Old Skool and I've just put my head into the noose! You couldn't write it!

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

"Remember how Curbishley claimed the credit for saving us on the back of the Great Escape? The truth of the matter is, of course, that his appalling management took us to the brink and beyond"
What absolute nonsense. Curnishley never claimed all the credit, he just took some, which he was entitled to. If you can't see that Curbishley had a hand in saving us then you are fool.

Anonymous said...

Shearer to manage Newcastle? April Fools Day?

Not convinced.

Jim said...

i thought exactly the same but apparently its official lol

Hammersfan said...

Anonymous 1, I am no Fool. More of an Edmund actually. I am writing a book about the Great Escape which will prove that Curbishley did his best to sink the good ship West Ham and had nothing to do with the rescue. Buy it. Then reach your conclusion. If I was a Fool, I would be strawberry.

el Martillo said...

Black, certainly; as to whether your maths is any god I've no idea! If you said you were writing a book that showed that Curbishley's contribution to the escape was a negative one. I'd disagree but leave it at that. But you are going to "prove" that he "did his best to sink the good ship West Ham". Are you sure? If you get it published I would be prepared for a lengthy lawsuit!

Hammersfan said...

LOL Shorthand and hyperbole my friend. Curbishley "did his best" and the result was that the good ship West Ham was nearly sunk. Searching for a title, "Turds Down the Pan"? or simply, "The Great Escape, How it Really Happened"? Thanks for the article, will post this evening to catch the after work audience!

Anonymous said...

I tell you what when you carry a grudge you certainly don't let it go. Curbs like a lot of others certainly played his part in keeping us up. The truth of the matter Mr Fanno is that your mate Pardew after 1 good season in how many has to shoulder the most responsibility. This is the guy you were calling to come back I seem to remember, look what he has down to Charlton. Thankfully that could have been us, lucky escape as far as I am concerned.

el Martillo said...

Title: Curbishley; my part in his downfall! I'd still put everything in the wife's name if I was you!

Hammersfan said...

Aycliffe, leave a name, I know the Klan know where you live but they have to sweep the length of the country before they reach your estate - and even then they have to clear the ditches and evade the beagles! Anybody would have failed at Charlton after the mighty Turds. He got out because he saw the writing on the wall. Him and Blair both - founder members of the Self Preservation Society! EMO, everything is already in the wife's name, why do you think I'm still here?

Anonymous said...

Fanno, what are you on about, firstly Shearer always said he wanted to manage Newcastle but he weren't ready! He may not be ready now but they need something. He has always been a die hard Newcastle fan, turning down the chance to go the Man U to play for the club he loves, that I respect.
At the end of the day Newcastle are f*cked everyone can see that and whether they go down or not he will stay with them and then he can bring in his own team as Denis Wise is exiting.
As for Curbs I remember him palming off the credit to the players after every match praising there performance.
Pardew was taking us down Curbs kept us up and yet you still prefer Pardew, why?
Curbs didn't play attractive football but at the end of the day during the great escape was you really concerned with our style of play or just picking up the results?
The next season we gave him a chance to get us mid table security, and although it was one hell of a boring season he done.
This season he couldn't take us further in the opinion of pretty much everyone, but he done exactly what was asked. Why continue to bombard him with insults?
I weren't a happy hammer under Curbs, but we achieved what we needed to. What has Pardew went on to do? Nothing!
Don't get me wrong I loved Pardew as a personality and he got us up and into the FA Cup final two things I will never forget, but the man was taking us down to the fizzy pop league.
Maybe you should drop some grudges and look and things realistically, you like looking at stats maybe you should look at the one important stat we are still in the premier league.
If your wrighting a book on this you really need to become more tolerable to other peoples opinions otherwise your entire book is going to be one sided and never get published.
As I said earlier last season I didn't like too much as we were a boring team, but I think the reason we were so boring is because there was no excitment look at it like this;
Season 1 - Relegation
Season 2 - Lose Play off final
Season 3 - Win Play off final
Season 4 - FA Cup Final
Season 5 - Fight for our lives in a relegation dog fight
Season 6 - Nothing
This Season fighting for Europe.
So was it the football that was boring or the season.
Look at things from more than perspective for a change otherwise you will never become an author. PhilTheTinkler

Anonymous said...

Who's this Aycliffe? sounds an interesting character. From Marty's post he appears to be an Archbishop and judging by your reply lives on some country estate! On Pards what had changed from Curbs time in making Charlton so much harder to manage?

Hammersfan said...

Aycliffe, the Premiership has changed. Before you could muddle along with average pros season after season, now that won't work. Look at how much Fulham have invested to survive. Look at Blunderland's expenditure. Even Boro shelled out £11m for Alves. Reading tried to do it on the cheap and look what happened in season two (just like us!). Stoke or Hull might stay up this year but without massive investment will go down next. Wigan are the new Charlton but they nearly slipped out two seasons in a row and may just be having a "purple year" this season. Curbishley had used up his luck at Charlton, that's why he got out. There were no good young players coming through, he had upset Murphy and lost a section of the dressing room and of the fans in the process and there was no money to spend and no bargains to be had. Turds jumped ship because he saw what was coming. Pardew very nearly steered them round the iceberg but once they were holed beneath the waterline, they were always going to struggle. That said, I was disappointed by Pardew this season - and I remembered how much I loathed him during his first season in charge at UP!

Denbiggeordie said...

Ya dunnut knuur nothin like - Shearerman will keep uz up and next yuur we'll win the leeg. Uuurropean champions in two yuurs, mark ma wuurds! This is the biggest thing thats ever happened to Noocassle EVER, bigger than when we signed Shearer or when Keegan made one of his fifteen comebacks. C'mon tha toon leek!

Saltbush Bill said...

Anonymous, "Who's this Aycliffe?", you ask.

I can tell you that he is a passionate Hammers fan , very highly respected and a most extraordinarily conciliatory type of fellow. Originally from East London and who now hails from County Durham. His visage reveals that he has a bald pate and it is said that sadly, he has no 'bollocks' - apparently they froze and fell off not long after establishing his manor in that 'arctic' clime.

It'd be nice if they grew back and he put his name to his postings on here. ;-)

молоток