Monday 8 June 2009

Snow White to Sign For Man City?


With rumours circulating that Tevez has signed for Man City, Mark Hughes is surely now in the market for Snow White to make up the cast of his fairy story!

In Wright-Phillips, Tevez, Bellyache, Ireland and Ribena, he already has five of the necessary dwarfs, though how they all match up to the Walt Disney originals I'm not quite sure. Bellyache would have to be Grumpy, Ireland looks like Dopey and Ribena is Sleepy but Wright-Phillips? Was there really a dwarf called Flatter to Deceive? And as for Tevez, I'm pretty certain there wasn't one called Ugly As Sin!

Actually, on reflection, give him a golf club and Bellyache might qualify as Bashful - as in full of bashes! Number six could be Parker, and with his fitness record he would be Sneezy! With Bellyache and Parker on the books they would certainly need a Doc!

All joking apart, if Tevez has signed, that must surely signal the end of Bellyache's City career before it has even started. Venit, criminor, vulnero. He came, he moaned, he got injured! Don't you just feel for the guy?

54 comments:

bill said...

Is it true that snow white is signing? That would be a real step in the right direction i bvelieve she could link up well with robinho and score a lot of goals. her set pieces are aslo second to none!

Anonymous said...

yawn

Anonymous said...

no

Anonymous said...

jealous, jealous sad people - notice no one mentioned anything about the huge amount real mardrid are spending - what a surprise

Anonymous said...

Grow up you soft twats

Hammersfan said...

Real Madrid buying quality instead of a team of dwarfs! Happy now?

Anonymous said...

What an extremely well thought and well written piece. Your humour is quite exceptional. I wish I had as much time to waste as you obviously do.

Anonymous said...

It's "dwarves", lamebrain.

Hammersfan said...

You had enough time to waste to read it and bother to reply! What on earth induced you to open the link? Did you think Snow White was an African footballer perhaps? Miserable Manc Moron!

Hammersfan said...

Lame Brain Yourself. Follow this link: http://i31.tinypic.com/29d7gw4.jpg

What a moron!

City surf girl said...

Well who was the last team of dwarfs I seen kick a ball around a pitch mmmmm....Barcelona! That will do me if we are following their model. It is a good job Eto'o is 6ft tall I suppose lol. Happy Days. I bet being a Hammers fan you really can't wait for your books to balance, so you can start making signings?

Hammersfan said...

Great reply surf girl!

Unknown said...

dick

Anonymous said...

Nah I thought it could be something worth reading...was greatly mistaken.

Hammersfan said...

Sad dick Peter? Presumably that means you are limp too! Your replies are!

Anonymous said...

pathetic

Anonymous said...

Come on lighten up I'm a City fan and found it Humorous

Manchester_city_blue

blue moon said...

bet our short team towers over yours by the end of may

Unknown said...

crap story,city are gonna be a major force in next few year's,get used to it ,as long as it wind's people like you up it's fine by by me,it's hysterical ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Anonymous said...

Utd already have grumpy and dopy, so why not

Anonymous said...

west ham biggest club in essex stick your gelied eels up your arse Sharon

Anonymous said...

spongiform encaelapathy !!! funny, the only players your gonna sign this season is on champ manager. Now thats funny!!! M.C.F.C, CTID

Anonymous said...

Ha, got me here Hammersfan, I like this one.

MrAnonUK.

Keep em comin.

Hammersfan said...

I tell you what, OFSTED should check out the schools in Manchester quickly based on the replies on here. Come on guys, try a bit harder with the spelling and capital letters!

Hammersfan said...

Cheers MrAnonUK

Joe said...

Whats wrong with being the biggest club in Essex Sharon? Oh yeah shit I happen to live here, good point. Joe, Basildon.

Anonymous said...

aww jealous much

Robinho10 said...

i suppose you have to write transfer stories about city because its not looking very lively at your place is it? and I bet yous wish you still had tevez, mind you, why would he sign for a club who are always going to finish below 7th?

Hammersfan said...

Hmmmm, where did City finish last season? Tell me, how are the Seven Dwarfs and Snow White going to defend corners? Just a thought!

Blue Moon Rising. said...

Ha Ha made me giggle a bit. What if we where to sign Zola, he could be Happy the boot boy.

Anonymous said...

How tall is Zola again?

Blue Moon Rising. said...

4 inches shorter than Bellamy.3 inches shorter than Robinho and only as tall as SWP. HI HO. Hi Ho

Hammersfan said...

But he doesn't play does he? What's your point?

Manchester la la la said...

If we don't shop at Iceland then your players won't get paid... we, the consumer, are your income. You are owned by a holding company. tee hee. Am going Darrrn tha Lockaaaaaapp!! Lucas Neil left because Steve Clark tried to touch him up (allegedly). I dont know about blowing bubbles.... your team are a 'bubble bath' (a bit of rhyming slang for you there).

Unknown said...

jealous are we

Anonymous said...

And where you from Manchester la la la? You talk as though you're from la la land; bet if I gave you a map of Manchester and ask you to find Old Trafford you'd get lost and end up watching bat and ball. Your just another glory seeker who's team you think play on a cricket ground. We love giving the gobbiest Manure side a bloody nose. Come on Barca he he he

Anonymous said...

Just out of interest why have you, a Hammers fan,decided to talk about our lack of hight. Surely you should be discussing with your fellow West Ham supporters your own team's weaknesses, here are some topics to get you started.

-No money
-No talent
-No ambition

Tom said...

Hammersfan, why don't to concentrate on your own team. You are obviously envious. Jealous wanker C.T.I.D.

Hammersfan said...

2052, the article was a joke. I would love to see you break the top 4 monopoly if it wasn't on the back of all that money being spent. Do you honestly agree with buying trophies? Wouldn't you prefer to develop a team? When you won the title and cup it was with a proper team that was a mix of home grown talent and good value buys. When Allison returned and tried to buy glory with his cheque book, it all went pear shape. Tevez will be a good buy because he plays with his heart on his sleeve but the other mercenaries...if they were real winners, they wouldn't have joined you in the first place I'm afraid.

Captain Grumpypants. said...

Hammersfan... class article, thoroughly enjoyed, a refreshing change...

Don't worry about the other blues on here, they're so used to everyone slating us for the slightest of things now that they've lost their sense of humour.

Good luck with the new owners.

Hammersfan said...

Cheers Grumpy!

Anonymous said...

Yea well said Grumpy, i feel the same, I think we all know its just a laugh but because we have have 30 odd years of jibes shoved down our throats we have become a bit bitter, but still, us mid table teams need to stick together, if you've going to do anouther one of these mate, how bout aiming it at the 'Big Four', then we can all have a laugh.

apache said...

To all the 'Citeh' Fans...

I thought that this was one of Fanno's more humorous articles, if there was a dig at anyone apart from Bellamy, I missed it.

Don't forget that outside of the red half of your city (and half of London and Surrey), Man U fans are HATED for their arrogance.

I've always liked City fans. Yes you have money now, good luck with it, I'd love for the 'top four' to be broken up.

Please don't let the money go to your heads and start lording it over the rest of the Prem (or indeed league).

Anonymous said...

The only reason we are 'lording it' is because teams in the league, like you, are always takin the mick of us for anything, its more of a defense than it is boasting

Hammersfan said...

2139, keep in mind that many blogs out there would not extend to you the right of reply. I think there is more bile and bitterness expressed by City fans here towards West Ham than there ever was towards City in my tongue in cheek article. Chill.

Anonymous said...

Haha your joke seems to have pissed some of my fellow city fans off to no end and i have no idea why, its just banter ain't it? We are in need of a tall CF in a team of dwarves so snow white fits the bill perfectly. Dont listen to the others mate, keep these blogs coming, its all getting a bit too serious nowadays anyway

Wooders said...

your manager is only about 5 foot tall and he's one of the greatest players to have played in the prem so meh, I find this article weird

Derry said...

I'm a Blue and it made me chuckle. You must forgive some of my fellow Blues, we've been absolutely crucified in the press of late, so we're a bit touchy!

Anyway, back on topic...

I hope we don't sign Snow White. I know she's a handfull up top but is a bit naive in defense.

She's well known for letting the other team come inside her and also from behind in the box.

Hammersfan said...

Cheers Derry. The point is Wooders, you can have one or two short guys, but too many and you become vulnerable on corners etcetera. Mind you, it was a joke!

Anonymous said...

can i just say when someone said find old trafford on a map of manchester it would be hard cos it aint in manchester.

Anonymous said...

wanker!!! - rubbish piece

ming the merciless said...

i think it was a very funny article just like i would expect from a hammer, most city fans have a soft spot for west ham , i know i always have, their fans have a wicked sense of humour and i remember one particular night in london after losing at upton park,me and my mates had a brilliant night with some hammers fans! salt of the earth those guys!As for snow white? i never trust any woman who's wedding certificate begins with "to whom it may concern" lol................good luck next season hammers...

Anonymous said...

Glad to see there are a few City fans with a sense of humour.

Derry - We know all about being crucified by the press.
It's the rubbish rags that don't like the idea of you having loadsa money. Personally I think it would be great to see City Blue up there instead of Manure red.
As long as you don't take 6 points off us in the process of course.
6

Wigan Blue said...

Good laugh mate!

Wouldn't mind Tevez if only to piss off the other half. MH seems hell bent on going for height in our attack, but we don't really need it - when we've kept it on the ground we've played some excellent football this season. And the Joe Mercer team that you mentioned wasn't exactly loaded with giants - Francis Lee springs to mind!

Keep it up - if we can't laugh at ourselves with other fans then there's no hope for us...