West Ham have been cruelly overlooked in the Queen's Birthday Honour's List. With knighthoods and gongs awarded to sportspeople, actors, artists and, in the words of a civil servant on the BBC, "ordinary people", West Ham players and employees of the club are conspicuous by their absence.
Social commentator Tar Teetupp said: "There is a strong sense of bias here based upon the hatred of the media and the upper classes for little old working class West Ham United. It seems absurd that Delia Smith, the woman famous for being a director of Norwich City, can be honoured in the year that the Canaries drop into the old Third Division, whilst nobody at West Ham gets a mention after such a brilliant season."
He continued: "What has Nick Faldo done to earn a knighthood? He puts a little white ball down a hole during a gentle stroll. I would like to see him cope in the hustle and bustle of the Premiership. He even has somebody to carry his bag for him!"
He warned: "West Ham fan President Obama will not be pleased about this. I fear the Queen has put the special relationship at risk by this outrageous slight on West Ham."
Football pundit, Lee Vitout agreed: "Ignoring West Ham is stupid. Why wasn't Green knighted after keeping clean sheets against Kazakhstan and Andorra? What about Scotty Parker? Hammer of the Year without a doubt so why no gong from the Queen?"
He continued: "What about rewarding bravery? Does Her Majesty not understand the courage of Dean Ashton when he risked his ankle five times last season? They gave awards to disabled sportsmen so why didn't Dean get one of those?"
He finished: "And what about the West Ham medical team? They got Dyer out onto the pitch! Surely that deserves a knighthood! I'm taking the picture of the Queen off my living room wall in protest!"
It is expected that questions will be asked in the House of Commons but, in the meantime, Hammers fans find themselves in a fog of incomprehension. After a stunning season which saw the Hammers climb one place in the Prem and plunder three extra points, why on earth wasn't Zola honoured?
19 comments:
Hammersfan your an idiot. Faldo plays golf not football. Different game you twat. Having a go at Deano again. He scored two goals last season you twat.Stupid article. Pointless.
Faldo was a fine Goalkeeper.He was ruined by Chelsea and then Spurs youth systems.
The only other thing that I am obliged to share with you is the common knowledge and well rehearsed secret that TwinHammer1 sent his MBE back to Bucks Palace,
The rest, well! who cares
10.03 why dont you lighten up,its only a bit of fun,any idiot can see this,.,hammersfan i enjoy reading your posts most of the time and enjoy the bit of banter,,some people have no clue !!!
Cheers Peter.
Your mother hates you
I agree with Peter
Anyone who can't see these are humourous needs to get out more. I think it is amusing to see that the quote about Deano is top story on Newsnow!
COYI!
Faldos brother Rocked with Amedaous
its not that people don't have a sense of humour, it's that people are tired of hammersfan being such a pessimistic person when it comes to West Ham. Yes he may argue that he also praises some players, but in the same week he will be slating them again, as if he expects saints to play every week. Too many stupid articles for my liking to be honest. Honestly, i actually enjoy the more serious articles, but i've read ones like these too often now. So in your own words hammersfan, stupid article, pointless.
1203, I had already said all that so why waste time repeating it? Others seem to disagree with you.
this webshite needs shutting down. every time a feed is posted the facts are all wrong.
well it made me laugh! keep it up hammersfan if they cant see its a joke then fU*K'em
Well, i want you to know that there is criticism coming from people other than yourself. The 'others' you are referring to, seem to have a simple sense of humour or are very light hearted about cynics of their club. You remind me of Eminem, when he makes a serious track he seems talented, though when he makes a 'humerous' track it is very boring and only simple minded people seem to like it.
its jst a laugh! people need to lighten up!
I can see it's a joke it's just - call me old fashioned - I prefer funny humour as opposed to non funny humour. Peter Kay, Steve Coogan and Ricky Gervais are funny - Jim Davidson, The Chuckle Brothers and Hammersfan are not.
It's not a laugh. Not even one ha...
Well, technically, it's not just a laugh if i'm not laughing. And seeing as i'm 19 and weigh 10 stone i doubt i need to 'lighten up'. Just as your trying to convince me it's light hearted and humerous, im trying to convince you that it's constanly negative and unbalanced. I usually ignore people who ask 'are you a real hammers fan', but now i begin to wonder myself.......hmmmmm
lighten up you lot.
i thought it was pretty funny.
medical staff getting dyer on the pitch... loved it!
I love my family, girlfriend and cat. You 'love' hammersfans articles, I sympathise.
'Faldo plays golf not football.' !!?
When did that happen then?
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