Saturday, 27 June 2009
West Ham, Tottenham and Jackson
Following claims that Michael Jackson was a West Ham fan, Tottenham Hotspur have issued a statement affirming the links that the North London club have with the recently deceased Pop superstar.
Speaking from the carpark at White Hart Lane, the spokesman said: "In many senses, Tottenham Hotspur is the Michael Jackson of the Premiership. Like Michael, we have lived for many many years on the back of former glories. It is no coincidence, in our view, that Thriller was written in 1981, the year of our epic Cup Final victory over Manchester City with Ricky Villa moonwalking through the City backline. Like Michael, we came again in the 90's but our barren period has coincided broadly with his."
He continued: "Just like Michael, Tottenham Hotspur spend money like it is going out of fashion and, like him, we invariably buy glitzy looking tack for absurdly inflated prices. Our Top Four Finish and Champions League football is the equivalent of Michael's Never Never Land. Our double win of 61 is our Bubbles, a monkey on our back. And remember, Michael fell in love with a rat. He had Ben, we have Jermaine Defoe."
He concluded,: "And just like Michael, we are attracted to young talent, but as with him, parents would be well advised to warn their children not to get in bed with us, unless all that matters to them is a big fat compensation payment. If all you want is the money and don't care about your son being taken advantage of, send him along to the Tottenham Hotspur Never Never Land Academy!"
Posted by Hammersfan at 11:17