Wednesday 10 June 2009

Green's England Performance Puts Tottenham, Liverpool and Arsenal on Red Alert.


Robert Green established his England credentials tonight with a flawless performance in the crucial World Cup qualifier against Andorra at Wembley, triggering interest from Tootatthem, Liverpool and Arsenal in the process. Green's detractors were obliged to admit that at no point in the game did the West Ham keeper look likely to concede. In fact, he made the game appear easy, barely breaking into a sweat over the tense and enthralling ninety minutes.

Football pundit, Lee Vitout raved, "Green was fantastic. There was one moment when the ball bounced in the corridor of uncertainty a yard outside of the box. Green dealt with it brilliantly. Some keepers like Robinson or Gomes would have panicked and handled the ball. But not Green. He dealt with it brilliantly."

Any suggestion that Green is vulnerable under crosses were laid to rest. Vitout continued: "Show me one cross that Green struggled under. You can't. No one can. Green was brilliant all night."

A posse of watching managers cannot fail to have been impressed. Tootatthem are known to be interested in securing a replacement for Gomes and, on this showing, Green fits the bill perfectly. "Any keeper who looks that comfortable over ninety minutes must be special," said Tootatthem's head scout.

The only obstacle to a deal appears to be West Ham's reluctance to do business with their near neighbours. This may open the door to Liverpool, if they can cobble together the cash, or Arsenal. It would certainly be a huge surprise if little old bankrupt West Ham can keep hold of Green after his epic performance tonight.

47 comments:

Anonymous said...

hahahahahahhahaha, stupid blog stupid spammers

Anonymous said...

what a load of crap. Liverpool have Pepe Reina, the best keeper in the premier league and world right now, why would they buy an england international keeper!

Anonymous said...

Why would Green want to sit on a bench for Arsenal or Liverpool?

Anonymous said...

I would like to know where 'spammers' comes from. Is it simply because spam is meat and rhymes with ham, also meat? very clever Tottenham fans.....

Anonymous said...

West Ham United's new owners may be forced into bankruptcy proceedings within 72 hours, casting doubt on assurances that it has brought stability to Upton Park.

CB Holding, a special-purpose vehicle whose 70% shareholder is the stricken Icelandic investment bank Straumur, took control of the Premier League club on Monday. Straumur said the move, first revealed by this column in April, was necessary because a moratorium – a suspension of payments to creditors – granted to the club's former owner Bjorgolfur Gudmundsson's investment company, Hansa, was due to expire on Tuesday.

In the event that Hansa had, as expected, been declared bankrupt West Ham would have been liable to Premier League sanctions. However, Straumur, which is effectively bust, has a similar moratorium over its own liabilities and must apply on Thursday to the District Court of Reykjavik for a six-month extension to that agreement.

In a presentation made to creditors last Friday Straumur executives said: "The moratorium provides a 'standstill' period during which Straumur can pursue a restructuring of its financial position. Unless Straumur successfully petitions the court for an extension, the moratorium will end on 11 June 2009. As stated above, Straumur intends to apply for a six-month extension of its moratorium."

Even if the Reykjavik court is persuaded the moratorium should be extended, Straumur must convince creditors its plans for West Ham and its other managed assets are acceptable. The transformation of the collapsed investment bank into an asset-management company is said to be a fait accompli by Straumur's spin doctors in Iceland and London. But it depends on a "composition agreement" under which creditors accept a fixed sum.

Anonymous said...

even as a spurs fan I can see that this is supposed to be ironic why does everyone take this so seriously?

Anonymous said...

Wheres your souce for this?

You have none, just your usual made up rubbish.

Im embarassessed your a West Ham fan

Anonymous said...

I'm a Gooner and I have to laugh at some of the comments lol. It looks like people are too stupid to realize it's supposed to be a joke.

Hammersfan said...

2303, sorry, I can't resist..."even as a Spurs fan I can see..." LOL But thanks for the vote of support! Some of the people out there are thick with a capital T aren't they? Irrespective of who they support!

Anonymous said...

pathetic article. i could have played in goal tonight and if green was that good there would have been more competition for his signature when he left norwich. i will admit he is probably englands number 1 at the moment but he is the best of a bad bunch.
and to say robinson or gomes probably would have handled the ball outside the box is absolute rubbish. neither keeper did that last season and i believe premiership football is a bit more demanding than 90 minutes against andorra.
as a spurs fan i would admit there isnt much between gomes and green. yes gomes made a lot of mistakes at the start of the season but all players need time to settle in and our end of season form proves that a goalkeeper is probably at the bottom of our priorities in the transfer market.
also probably wouldnt get in the team at arsenal or definately liverpool.
utter rubbish

Hammersfan said...

LOL 2307, and you are serious! I blame the schools folks!

Anonymous said...

this is a joke...if ur watched the game u wud get it...and if u did watch the match and dont realise this u r probably just stupid

spurs_steve said...

lee vitout mate. LOL

Hammersfan said...

; ]

Anonymous said...

LOL!

I blame Gordon Brown (why not - he is being blamed for everything else!). Some people out there are so thick they cannot see the humour - and I mean THICK with a capital F.

Ben Ford said...

Did he have to make a save tonight? I don't see how a performance against a team that played about 10 minutes in our half and have about two shots at goal can get him talked about by the likes of Arsenal, Tottenham and Liverpool...?

Hammersfan said...

2320, check out Ben Ford! LOL

Anonymous said...

Aaaaahhhh the ignorance of the blogoshere.... It's great watching numbskulls get truly irate about posts which to anyone with even the smallest brain must realise is a joke. I often see this with my fellow Spurs fans so its great to know that stupidity crosses all boundaries and supports all teams...

spurs_steve said...

should have played susan boyle in goal tonight.

Anonymous said...

I am a Gooner and recognised the ironic post here. Even Pleat said on his commentary that we could have comfortably played without a keeper tonight. unfortunately that was the only incisive comment from our favourite slow driving commentator. other comments included pointing out how well the ball was rolling on the pitch. Round objects do tend to do that David when you provide them with momentum in a certain direction! I believe he also stated that "what England need tonight is to put on a good performance and score a few good goals". So that is the elusive ingredient to winning a football match. If only every manager was aware of this! Please note that no irony was intended in this comment and no animals were hurt in the making of it.

Hammersfan said...

2324, it is genuinely frightening!

Anonymous said...

No chance.

Hammersfan said...

2326, very good! LOL

Anonymous said...

Hammersfan, just as long as they're not Chelsea fans armed with your contact details, I wouldn't be too perturbered... The old rule about sticks and stones and all that...

Hammersfan said...

There's a couple of ICF guys on my case already mate. One is a full blown Nazi!

Anonymous said...

I'd better lay remain anonymous then Hammersfan, being jewish and a Spurs fan will do me no favours! The BNP and stupity now there's a topic to get your teeth into...

Hammersfan said...

LOL I have mate, to my cost! Still, you might not have a foreskin, those guys don't have a forehead! Can you believe some of the replies on here? LOL Good luck in the new season, once 'Arry starts spending, you might need it!

Anonymous said...

23.29 Hammers fan, just shave off his little 2" moustache above his top lip. It renders them useless and they lose all sense of direction. Then you can make your get away.

Anonymous said...

ha ha ha ha, Green had the best 7 touches from a keeper ive ever seen !!!!

Anonymous said...

I thought the idea of a joke article was that there had to be an element of humour in it? This is the sort of stuff a 10 year old would produce.

silver.spurfer said...

I didn't find the post all that funny , that is until I read the comments. Fair play iron boy, you really hooked a few gullible numbskulls with this one.

Anonymous said...

rob green = muggy slag going nowhere. He can stay at wet spam and never win anytrhing apart from championship play off. pikey twats. jog

Anonymous said...

Totally agree. He played a blinder.
His second penalty save followed by a triple save from Andorras centre forward who troubled Englands defense all night really stood out.

Anonymous said...

did sum1 say reina best keeper in the league haha i love hearin things like this green wipes the floor wiv reina

Anonymous said...

im a west ham fan and dont sum of u realise its a joke haha idiots

Anonymous said...

errrr, flawless? its like saying the power taylor had a flawless darts performance against stevie wonder. what a load of

Anonymous said...

Some of the morons on the internet never cease to amaze me with the level of stupidity they display. I wonder if their mum had to turn on the computer for them? MUST be Chelski or Millwall fans.

Matthew Cutajar said...

LOOL this is the most stupid article I've ever read. You call that a performance?! Come on, we played against Andorra not Spain or Argentina...anyway why would ever Liverpool be interested in signing Green, we got the best gk in the league.

Hammersfan said...

Matthew, post again after your brain has woken up!

Bazroy99 said...

These comments are incredible. Rock solid evidence that the human race is getting thicker. Looks like it will be down to us Hammers to rule the world.

Look before you leap, anonymous retards.

Sterling work Hammersfan.

Anonymous said...

hahahahahahaha,reina better than green ? hahahahhahaahahahha go and nick a motor or sign on or something hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Anonymous said...

Excellent fishing Hammersfan and a really good catch of pikeys!

Billbanksy

Hammersfan said...

It's too easy mate, you don't even need a maggot on the hook for some of them!

supernumbersix said...

'kin hilarious!
Another turkey shoot.

Hammersfan said...

LOL You wouldn't credit the level of stupidity would you? But they are happy to parade it, preening themselves as they do so! Imbeciles FC!

Denbighammer said...

This article is disgraceful, Green is like well Englands no.1 and if you don't realise that then you is like a well big spaz and that! Green is so much better than Rainer, Aluminimumuma and the bloke with the red curly wig and big shoes that plays for Spurs. You don't no nuffing and this blog should be closed down. I'm gonna grass you to NewsNow and the police for bein a tit! I'm so angry I can barely tpye priprley!

Hammersfan said...

; } To think Den, some of these guys have jobs! God help us!