Friday, 6 August 2010

Behrami's Agent Begging For Bidders!


Well talk about tarting your player around, Behrami's agent Beltrami has told reporters that, "Valon is glad of the interest of Roma. He is honoured to be in the aims of such a prestigious club" and invited clubs to make offers to West Ham. With interest distinctly lukewarm, he might consider preparing a Michael Owen style dossier. I'm happy to help with the wording!

Valon Behrami For Sale. Jack of all Trades, Master of None!

Here is your unique opportunity to buy a full back who can't tackle, a winger who can't cross and a midfielder player who doesn't score goals. Rarely does such a unique combination of talents become available!

When fit, which isn't so often these days, Valon will run and run and run. Adept at buying free kicks by tumbling as he loses control of the ball, Behrami will win the hearts of your club's fans with his 100% commitment to the cause. He simply loves to his dying day the club he happens to be playing for at any given time.

So, after his fantastic showing in the World Cup, why not buy Behrami today? There's hot and there's Behrami!

Remember when Man City were rumoured to be preparing a bid of £17 million for the guy?

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yeah, we know. Sky were reporting the exact same story 2 hours ago. So....?

UKIT said...

Nice post, but he is underrated.

He does all those things you say, but he does do a job.

I'd rather he stayed and competed with Parker, Noble and Der Hammer for a midfield role. I just don't expect him to create/score goals, just to do a job and get the ball back and pass to someone else.

Matt Ryan said...

I really can't make my mind up about Behrami! When he arrived I really liked him and then my fondness slowly started to deteriate.

I have seen him put in some amazing performances with some great tackles and some lovely passes! But unfortunately those performances are too few and far between.

A majority of the games lately he seems unable to string 3 passes together and his tackling wouldn't stop a gingerbread man.

And quite simply, not enough goals for a midfielder.

If we can get a decent price for him, somewhere in the region of £6-7Million then we should let him go.

Just my opinion

Anonymous said...

Kevin in manchester writes

I agree with the bones of your assessment but i agree with others that there's just something about him I like. I suppose we must bear in mind that in Grant it seems we have a manager who may be able to get the best out of him; let's face it for most of Zola's reign the players were making it up as they went along - the poor darlings tend to need clear instructions and an overall team game plan that makes sense to them before they are any use to beast, man, manager or fan

Stani Army said...

Behrami will shine in a better team I think. The stronger our team gets, the more pivotal he will become. He does have shortcomings but he can work on those like any other player.

Keep for a little while I say.

Anonymous said...

what interesting game the spuds have got in the draw. i can see it now. the young boys 3 the gay boys 1

Hammersfan said...

As I've posted before, I would keep Behrami and sell Parker. Parker can't tackle, isn't a great crosser and doesn't score goals either. Parker's stock is artificially high so sell; Behrami's stock is artificially low so keep. Simples.

But I'd put his agent in the stocks outside of the Boleyn on match days!

Sav said...

We were lucky Behrami did not have a good World Cup. I think he is very good in what pressurizing attackers and I expect that under AG he will also become a better attacker (both in making and scoring a few goals).

Headmaster said...

On Parker I would have to disagree HF. He had a standout season last year and in terms of energy, tackling and distribution was an exemplary performer. That said, he is 30 and I suspect the best is over. For those reasons, a bit in excess of £10-£12m would not be such a bad deal in my view.
On Behrami, I'm with Matt. Mixed feelings. Have rarely seen such an engine on a player when he's fit, although last season he flattered to deceive on a number of occasions and I tend to agree that £6m + would represent prudence.

Hammersfan said...

I wouldn't sell him for less than £8million mate and reckon after a good season under Grant could be worth much more than that.

Parker is like Behrami, he is all hustle and bustle and energy but the basics aren't great. He plays with his head down, like Behrami, so has limited vision and rarely plays a killer pass as a result. His shooting is awful and the number of yellow cards he collects is testiment to his poor tackling technique. How many needless free kicks does Parker give away? Also, he is due an extended injury layoff.

Get an offer of £12million and sell!

T.I.S said...

So why would you replace Parker with Behrami if this is what you make of Behrami? Wouldn't make sense other than financially.

Hammersfan said...

It makes sense financially and if Behrami is used as the midfield anchor, it doesn't matter that he can't cross or score!