Monday 30 August 2010

Green Operation Hits Snag


Robert Green's planned operation has been put on hold after hitting a last minute hitch. Although keen to earn additional income and announcing that he was willing to sell organs for money, it seems that Peter Shilton has drawn the line at letting the hapless West Ham stopper have his brain and hands.

A spokesman for the England great said: "People do not understand that footballers of Peter's generation did not earn the vast sums paid to modern footballers. Peter's financial problems are well documented and he had hoped to supplement after dinner speech income by selling some unnecessary organs - like a spare kidney perhaps. It was only when we inspected the small print of the contract that we appreciated that Sullivan and Gold were after Peter's brain and hands."

The West Ham co-chairmen are reportedly furious at this last minute volte-face by the former Hammers substitute keeper. A club spokesman said: "What use is Green to us with his present brain (pictured above) and hands? I ask you, without a keeper's hands and brain, who in God's name is going to pay big money for him? It's like trying to sell a forward who can't score and a wide midfielder who can't cross. Bloody impossible!"

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

That Matthew Ryan and the HEADmaster didn't have much bottle did they? ran off with their tails between their legs - me and a few of the Anons wondered where they went - anyone have any ideas? oh and one more thing seeing as they are dyed in the wool WHTID's we also wanted to know, are they an item?

Hammersfan said...

I think they have launched their own site haven't they? Unlike you.

Anonymous said...

Launched their own sites? what for? do we really need another West Ham site - we're scrapping the bottom of the barrel with this one as it is = I don't think those two planks could do better than Kumb / org or indeed WHTID - they can barely string a sentence together between them and they are both very highly strung and argumentative which I don't think are qualities for a good blog.