Picture the scene. The Sulliedone faced with Avram's demands for a new keeper, a right back, a new left winger and a new striker demands, "Where do you think the money will come from? It don't grow on bleedin' trees." Just then the phone rings. The receptionist says, "It's Mr Levy sir." Sullivan asks her to put him on hold.
"It's Levy," whispers Basher. "It's probably an improved offer for Parker."
Avram noods sagely. "Just as we expected."
"But I've promised the fans," whispers Basher.
"But he hasn't signed that contract has he?" asks Avram. "He didn't make much difference at Villa did he?"
"True. Very true. If they offer ten?" asks the Sulliedone.
"I think they'll go to twelve."
"How about ten and O'Hara on loan for the season?"
"Subject to medical, it would be a goodish deal," replies Avram.
"How about Hutton and O'Hara on loan plus £10million?"
"That would be a better deal."
"How about Hutton and O'Hara on loan and £10million and they take Spector off our hands?"
"Can't see them agreeing to that."
"True. Very true. How about Keane, Hutton and O'Hara on loan plus £8million?"
"I would snap Levy's arm off for that!"
"So," says David. We can find a way of making the deal work. Now Karren has told the press that Tottenham turned Scotty's head with that offer. How about we let him keep his cut of the transfer if he asks for a transfer. Nothing in writing. Just a nod and a wink, you know the sort of thing. Then when he's gone, welsh on the deal, see him in court if he dares. What do you think?"
"Sounds like a plan," replies Avram.
"And with the money you could buy Prince Fingermebob from Pompey and...well how do you fancy Bellamy?"
"Sounds good."
"And then if Liverpool give us £15million for Cole?"
"Well Tottenham won't be able to afford Remy anymore so..."
"I was thinking more in terms of a loan deal or two and a two or three million keeper. Remember, we are £100million in debt. What do you REALLY need to keep us up? Remember, West Brom, Blackpool and Wigan are in the division and Steve Bruce is due another relegation and Birmingham aint all that and Newcastle will be stuffed on Monday night...Hang on. Ah, Mr Levy, now then, let's talk business..."
18 comments:
Picture the scene. Secretspudsfan turns to his wife and says, "Sex?"
"Why is the milkman downstairs?" she asks.
Just to let you know that I have set up a blog dedicated to bringing this place down. Look in on
http://wehatethegamesgonecrazy.blogspot.com
Keep trying mate. Just think, when Shirley Williams broke from the Labour Party there was only a Gang of 4. Now look at the Lib Dems - Tory Party poodles! Ah, but being a fan of Dale, you are already a Tory poodle! Roll over, he doesn't want to tickle your TUMMY you fool!
Lol.Are you sure Levy wasn't just phoning to see if Sullivan wanted to go halves on the Olympic Stadium.
Foggy(Tottenham).
O'Hara, Hudson and Keane? In your dreams! They are footballers, why would they join a mickey mouse outfit like West Ham? Spammer dreamer. COYS!
Anonymous 15:56 you are one spineless prick ... put your name up in lights ... show us your views ... can't you see that there are decent fans on here and all the other blogs and some of the crap on there is just as emotive and sometimes crap but all you seem to do is try and drag things down ... get a life ...
HF, there two weeks left in the transfer window and you little joke above ain't gonna be far off the mark ... O'Hara and Keane for Parker ... Cole for Remy ... find me a knowledgeable fan who would say no when we have Noble and berahmi who are younger and in the same mold ...
Maszlow and footie??
Anon 16:08... COYS??! Hang on, why not extend your Come On You Spurs chant to...Come On You Premiership Unit Spurs...then you would have a mnemonic of COYPUS, making you South American rodents similar to beavers and RATS!? Very apt!
Hammersfan, weren't you banned from another site on the basis that you created multiple personas on there and began responding to your own comments, i.e. talking to and complimenting yourself because no one else did?
That's screwed up. How often do you do that on here?
tottenham are small and crap. always in Arsenals shadow.
1611 - 1556 was set up by HF
Two things: 1. Why would a Spuds supporter waste their time writing a blog dedicated to West Ham? Seriously? That's a pretty big hole in your plot, mate.
2. Tom, it's so much more fun to hide behind the anonymity of the internet and not have to take responsibility for your own words!
1931, you're so right Yankee! The funny thing is, they don't know who is who themselves! I am now being credited with setting up a site designed to criticise this site. You've got to love their appreciation of my twisted mind!
1801, check your facts. I was banned for running a thread about Boa being eaten by a crocodile. The thread coincided with a TV programme where they were trying to work out if a croc died from eating a python or if the python died trying to eat the croc. I adapted a web article about a croc eating a kid in Australia in his back garden. Stupid parents had a lake in their garden and let the kid play there unattended even though it was a croc infested area. Of course this was the reason GIVEN for banning me. The truth is, I dared to criticise the running of the club and the inner sanctum of the Org. Still, history now. Who cares? This site wouldn't be this site if I was still on the Org, so well done NEville Nixon for banning me!
I was accused of replying to myself because anybody who agreed with me was supposedly me. Like El Martillo and Saltbush Bill, one of whom was banned for being me and the other one who resigned. Neither were me! I am on the Org still and am amazed I haven't been outed yet.
Must go now, chest pains. Maybe I'm heart broken? ; ]
Yankee Hammer said.... I'm not really Yankee Hammer - I just wanted to show him that we're all anons really.
Fair enough. I'm not really Hammersfan of course. At least one of my vehement opponents has met me in person and, I think, quite liked me! He was every bit as obnoxious as I expected however!
can't have been that vehement an opponent... you're still alive.
What? I start posting comments on the blog today and someone has to use my name to make a point? Sure, we're all truly anonymous, but I'm certainly not trying to detract people to some sad, sad attempt at taking down a blog.
HF, any other American readers here that you're aware of?
There are a few who look in mate. Do you ever get over for a game? If so, let me know and I'll meet you for a beer pre and post match. You hail from England or just an American with an affinity for the underdog?
2225, he didn't know it was me! More of a terrier than a rottwieler though! Terrible coat as I remember.
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