Sunday, 16 May 2010

Bloated Benni McCarthy Told To Lose Weight

Poor old Benni McCarthy has been told to lose his spare tyre. According to reports on the net, Sullivan and Gold are furious that the South African's Body Mass Index figure puts him officially in the Fat Bastard category, with the arrow hovering close to the Mr Blobby sector.

Insiders at the club are wondering why McCarthy's weight increased exponentially after signing for the Hammers. Maybe it was down to McCarthy sitting on his fat arse game after game or maybe he enjoyed too many kebabs with fellow fatty Mido. When we signed the pair, many thought West Ham had done clever business; now, it appears, the deals only represented great value on a "pound for pound" basis: never has so much flesh been bought for so little it seems!

There are threats of massive fines if McCarthy breaks the scales on his return at the end of his working summer. But is it Benni's fault? The poor boy may just be "big boned". He may have reached that age where his body balloons irrespective of what he does.

Big Sam couldn't believe his luck when West Ham came in for Benni and now we know why - Allardyce wanted his fair share of the pies!


Anonymous said...

Looking at the Kevin Mitchell post & this it exposes what a very sad life you must live. Sympathy to you and your loved ones especially them, if you have any left?

Hammersfan said...

You don't know what to do with yourself with the Org down do you?

Stani Army said...

Big Sam: wasn't he the same guy that sold us a dodgy Dyer? Mugged us twice he has. Must be laughing.

Anonymous said...

I agree he is a sad little man

Hammersfan said...

1805, agreeing with yourself again?

Deane said...

Carlos Alberto Parreira has told Benni to lose weight before he can play for South Africa hopefully that will be an incentive He has said that it will be a dream come true to play in this world cup
He better I bought a McCarthy West Ham top for the world cup xxxl of course