Sunday, 23 May 2010
Commemorative Blackpool Rock In Production
Keen to exploit the commercial possibilities of playing in the Prem, the seaside town of Blackpool is launching a range of commemorative merchandise for sale this summer.
Punters in the town will be able to buy Premiership Rock: bite it all the way down to the bottom and you read the same word written through the core - relegation.
Punch and Judy shows will be replaced with Ferguson and Holloway shows, with the Scot beating Wurzel Gummage around the head whilst squealing, "That's the way to do it!" The players meanwhile will be saddled up to earn extra cash over the summer, giving kids "donkey" rides along the beach.
The Pepsi Max ride is being renamed the Holloway Max ride: after climbing to the summit, you hurtle back down again at an alarmingly quick speed. The famous Fortune Tellers, meanwhile, will defy sceptics by accurately forecasting that the club will be back in the Championship by the middle of May 2011.
Blackpool didn't get their promised Casino but the football club has made it to the promised land. If Holloway has any sense though, he won't hang around to see what happens. He is a hero today, but come January the good denizens of the town will want his scalp. Sadly Blackpool's pedalos will be washed away in the wake of the muti-millionaire's yachts in double quick time!
Roll up, roll up for the end of the pier show, for one season only!
Posted by Hammersfan at 17:13