Keen to exploit the commercial possibilities of playing in the Prem, the seaside town of Blackpool is launching a range of commemorative merchandise for sale this summer.
Punters in the town will be able to buy Premiership Rock: bite it all the way down to the bottom and you read the same word written through the core - relegation.
Punch and Judy shows will be replaced with Ferguson and Holloway shows, with the Scot beating Wurzel Gummage around the head whilst squealing, "That's the way to do it!" The players meanwhile will be saddled up to earn extra cash over the summer, giving kids "donkey" rides along the beach.
The Pepsi Max ride is being renamed the Holloway Max ride: after climbing to the summit, you hurtle back down again at an alarmingly quick speed. The famous Fortune Tellers, meanwhile, will defy sceptics by accurately forecasting that the club will be back in the Championship by the middle of May 2011.
Blackpool didn't get their promised Casino but the football club has made it to the promised land. If Holloway has any sense though, he won't hang around to see what happens. He is a hero today, but come January the good denizens of the town will want his scalp. Sadly Blackpool's pedalos will be washed away in the wake of the muti-millionaire's yachts in double quick time!
Roll up, roll up for the end of the pier show, for one season only!
32 comments:
I was in the doctors surgery the other day and who else was in there? yep, Kieron Dyer. The nurse called his name but he was engrossed in a magazine. The nurse then shouted out, 'Is there a Dyer ere'?
Congrats Blackpool glad you won to stop the bloody welsh entering the English Prem. Yes next season will be hard but yesterday will live in your memory for life as the day when we went up in the playoffs was one of my best memories if not the best I have ever experienced. Dont worry about the prick who wrote this blog he always writes this rubbish to get a response and he is a total prick. Looking forward to visiting Bloomfield Road next season if i can get a ticket. HF is a prick
Definitely looking forward to an away day at Blackpool, fingers crossed for a ticket cause i know bloomfield's gonna be rocking. If you've stumbled across this blog, like the anon says above, the author's an attention seeking tool who we wind up on a daily basis so dismiss what he drivels. Well done again, get that 1st season up surprise thing working and you could shock a few
LOL To wind up, you have to touch a nerve! You don't. A man can wind up a watch, a watch cannot wind up a man. You sir or sirs are the watch and I am THE MAN!
Think, if you wound me up, I would simply delete what you write. A god only permits what he wants to permit and, with absolute powers of administration, I am the god of this site. Now, reason your way out of that one! Unworthy ones!
touched a nerve berk?
Who cares if I relly gave a shit about you I could tell you that I have a contact in the hammers ticket office and could find out who you are and post it everywhere if I wanted which i dont by the way I cant be bothered. How many new mini season tickets were sold in the BML as they were nearly all sold out all season anyway HF.
Do you have a contact? I'm afraid, very afraid! LOL Your hurt is showing my friend, it is red, red raw. Why do you let me get to you like this? If it hurts so much, why come to the site? Stay away my friend, try to pretend Hammersfan doesn't exist. There is a great big world out there you know, there's no need to be eaten up every day by this harmless little blog. You CAN stay away. You CAN! You really CAN!
See you tomorrow, still wearing your pain like a badge of inadequacy no doubt. Really you CAN and SHOULD stay away, for the sake of your mental health. I care about you my friend.
I do feel for Blackpool as they will find it hard staying up. This is all a result of the play-off system which I think needs to be looked at.
My idea would be to promote 1st and 2nd automatically and have a play-off between 3rd and 4th but ONLY if 4th is within certain number of points (eg four) of 3rd. If not, 1st, 2nd and 3rd should be promoted automatically.
Take this Championship season for example in which Blackpool finished bottom of the play-off teams but got promoted just because of two games. It's a bit harsh on 3rd (Forest), 4th (Cardiff) and 5th (Leicester). Forest had earned nine more points than Blackpool and all for nothing. The play-offs are just about money.
I wish them well for next season though.
21:38 I'd keep away from this site if I were you... I have a friend at google and he can track you IP address which in turns means I can find you...
all wound up again
It's the ISP that assigns the IP address to an individual device on the internet. And a good ISP will not reveal to whom they've allocated the address to just anyone. In fact, my assumption is that legal action and possibly law enforcement of some sort would be required for an ISP to release that information.
What is even worse is the fact that it has been a glorious day and all you've done is write some more irrelevant crap on this blog. You really DON'T have a life.
Oh and BTW. You can track your IP address on just about any IP tracker website. Mine comes up as London. Close I suppose.
Oh Stani you spoil sport! The playoffs keep the season alive! They should introduce them for relegation too! Bottom two go down, next four in play off to avoid the drop, final at Wembley. Let's face it, under Zola that would have been the only way we would have ever got to Wembley!
Hammersfan Alter Ego,you are another one who is seriously in need of help. Talk to somebody before it is too late! I am controlling you too, screwing up your mind. You're even starting to think you are me. Poor misguided fool, you are unworthy but you do not yet know it. And remember, the real Hammersfan can delete you at his whim! Hit the dustbin that you cannot even access and scrunch, you are gone, no more, zero.
HF is a prick
2222 and 2219, you are talking to the wrong Hammersfan. Click on the name at 2209 and you will see that ID was created in May. Click on this name and you will see that I am the author of this blog. Not that it matters one jot anyway. It's a blog for pity's sake. Why the angst guys? When will you get a life? It is a beautiful world out there. Go and see the elephants in London!
LOL Hammersfan at 2222, will you be there too. I'll hold the other guys coat!
I guess you are Bill Gardner then or Cass Pennant??? Mate you hsve no idea what you are inviting onto yourself. The unknown for you should honestly stay unknown or I think you are in for a bit of a shock.
2229, he may be Cass Pennant or Bill Gardner but I doubt it. Why would he then pose as me and try to invite a fight. Not man enough to fight himself! Me? I'm far too old for fighting! Verbal fisticuffs is the best I can manage with my back, achilles and knees!
22:31 be careful who names you use in jest.... anyway how do you know these aren't both your profiles? for all we know is you're operating a classic Divide and Conquer Strategy?
amicable and friendly manner!?! that's not fighting talk from where I come from - I think he is trying to confuse the issue.
Anonymous 20:25... your anti-Welsh comments have been noted! Your Mum just jotted them down for me.....baaaaahhhhhh!!!
Me, trying to confuse the matter? Divive and rule? I rule without dividing, in fact my readership is multiplying all the time and every adversory is an additional appeal to the site.
Your "readership" may be multiplying but the vast majority are detractors, people who don't like you and your "writings" As a football fan I visit lots of blogs (not just West Ham) and without a doubt this is the most negative by a long way. Most he visit here do so because they enjoy ridiculing you! Something to be proud of? I think not.
Season alive? No HF, theyre prolonging something which has come to it's end just to mug the punter.
I can't remember which sport it was in, but I read somewhere that their playoff comprises of the team finishing bottom of the top division against the team finishing top of the second. Whichever wins, has a place in the top flight. This system applied to our leagues would obviously involve the 3rd bottom and 3rd top teams. That'd be much more exciting.
Stani, you are so damn puritanical! The play offs are the best things that have ever happened to the game! The system is unfair but what the hell, it is great fun! I'm with Satan and not Gabriel on this one!
"Your "readership" may be multiplying but the vast majority are detractors, people who don't like you and your "writings" As a football fan I visit lots of blogs (not just West Ham) and without a doubt this is the most negative by a long way. Most he visit here do so because they enjoy ridiculing you! Something to be proud of? I think not"
TheORGster - I wish you'd bugger off elsewhere - can't you see I have more important things to do than reply to you all the time? get lost!
Come on Hammersfan Alter Ego, you forgot yourself there and addressed me in the Second Person!
...on this one? You're always with Satan HF.
he quoted someone else hence the quotation marks
Very good Hammersfan Alter Ego, that's much better! There is only one HF around here, I Can almost believe that's me. Please keep that up, it saves me a lot of work! Want to post an article as well?
LOL, I'm having to check if it is you or me now! Very good Hammersfan Alter Ego. You should write a blog!
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