We are used to the anodyne content of the OS and grew aware that under Duxbury, the bloody site should have been renamed Pravda, such was the level of state control over what was published...but even the Grand Puppet Master stopped short of playing cruel jokes on the loyal West Ham fan base! Now the Official Site has sunk to new lows.
Turning to News Now, my heart skipped a beat as I read the OS headline, "Spector a Reading Star"! My God, he's gone I thought, and to the club just down the road from where I now live! But opening the article, I found it was all a ruse. It turns out that by Reading Star, they mean that, unlike a sizable section of the fan base, Spector can...well read!
Is that what he was doing all season? Focusing on the advertising hoardings, sounding out his letters, and trying to work out what that very odd word on his shirt said? Is that why he missed so many tackles, headed the ball straight up in the air, played opponents on side, gave away possession...did he let players drift past him so he could sound out the letters on the back of their shirts as he followed in their wake? "L-E-E Lee! M-A-L-O-U-D-A Malouda! V-A-L-E-N-C-I-A Valencia!"
It all makes sense now! In his mind, he wasn't playing a game of Premiership Football, he was on the set of Sesame Street! Today's game is brought to you by the letters Zee, O, L and A and the number 18! Oops and the number 1 for West Ham and the number 3 for Bolton, Wolves and Fulham!
No wonder he was playing like a muppet!
13 comments:
Hammersfan loves big fat hairy men with aids.
Oh Dear God, has Ernie got AIDS? Does Bert know? Somebody warn Bert! Bert, don't get in bed with Ernie again whatever you do!
I knew he wasn't going to Reading HF, as I recently read a piece by him saying how he really hoped he was going to secure a new contract as soon as possible AND how much he was looking forward to dumping England out of the World Cup!!
Is he asking a little too much??
I know Shaun - sorry mate it was a poor joke - sensationalist tabloid headlines brings more people in from News Now, as the counter goes up the better I feel about myself - a bit said I know.
Hammersfan is a confused women
Well, England lead 2-1 at half-time and Green has done himself no end of favours with 2 cracking saves!...and there was nothing he could do about the goal...which, incidentally, was scored by...Franco!!
You just couldn't have made it up!?
I have received the following message from the two Davids
Dear Hammersfan
We have promised to keep to you fully informed regarding your club. We therefore wish to confirm that we are making good progress in the search for a new manager and that the appointment will be made by early June.
We are in the middle of a thorough selection process which could continue over the next 10 days before being finalised. The new manager will then have a month to prepare for the start of pre-season, with all at the club determined to improve on the previous campaign.
As with all the West Ham United breaking news, the new manager will be confirmed first via whufc.com and personally to you via email. Keep checking whufc.com and your inbox for all the latest updates.
Thank you for your continued support.
David Sullivan & David Gold
Joint Chairmen
Not sure a month is really long enough - Oh Dear I just so hope the new fellow isn't going to be worse than Zola - because that'll make me look right stupid
Hammersfan Alter Ego, you look well stupid anyway! But this is great, I've been in the pub with mates, enjoying beers as we watch the England game, and you've been posting on here, pretending to be me; all alone no doubt. I have no objection, it is a tremendous help, but don't you think you should see a psychiatrist? I'm kind of flattered by your desperate desire to be me, but I'm not sure it's very healthy! See a doctor mate.
I once joked that I lived alone in a bedsit; I think you probably do!
I look well stupid innit - Alter Ego you never heard of no blackberries? you watch the game with your mates? do you have photograph evidence? you know like when you was outside the ground with your program and da mini season ticket?
Should we be taking for GRANTed the appointment of Avram as our new manager? He has been released by Portsmouth so if he is DS/DG's first choice then it is strange there is no announcement expected until early June. Allardyce, Jones and Holloway unlikely to be serious contenders. Interesting that Bilic refused to comment when asked if he was in the running for the job. Mcleish would probably be on the DS wishlist and then there is always Curbishley....
Giving the game away again Hammersfan Alter Ego. Not bright are you? Hope your contract allows for lots of free browsing, it would be incredibly stupid to be paying in order to pose as me.
Have you considered seeking professional help yet?
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