Wednesday 26 May 2010

West Ham To Be Renamed Fat Club


As if Billy Bunter McCarthy isn't enough, it's looking more and more likely that we will be replacing kebab eating aficionado Mido with eat anything and everything aficionado Yabuku. Take away restaurant owners around Newham must be rubbing their hands together in glee at the prospect! With McCarthy and Yakubu paired together up front, there's certainly no danger of our strike force being labelled lightweight!

I USED to be a big fan of Yakubu but the operative words here are 'USED TO BE'. Like McCarthy, his best days are behind him and, as injuries have mounted, so his midriff has thickened. Moyes is no mug and if Yakubu was worth retaining, the Scot would ensure he kept him. I suspect, just as with Big Spam and Benni, Moyes is delighted that West Ham want his resident hard to motivate Mr Blobby!

25 comments:

Anonymous said...

Feed the Yak and he will score!

Anonymous said...

lol

if you believe the newspapers he will cost as much as 7 million punds ,for a big injury prone striker!!

and we find that 6 million is too much for O,hara

we will never learn if we keep carrying on like this

keep bying overated fat and injury prone players

no

Stani Army said...

I think he's more muscular than fat HF, but not exactly an exciting signing and I wouldn't buy him at that price.

Moyes seem less sly. Never do business with Allardyce. He is the ultimate dodgy dealer. Didn't he sell us Dyer as well as McCarthy?

Mallubear said...

No article about Franco HF?

Dave D said...

I think we could pick someone up on a free who could do just as good a job.

Also, does anyone else think that west ham are turning into little israel?

With Gold at the helm, Grant as the manager, benny maybe coming back from liverpool & ben hiem from portsmouth......I bet the local muslims of forest gate and such like are getting very worried.

Maybe this is the why we are looking to expand our territories into the olympic statium.

HF needs a new object of scorn said...

So just who do you blame now, HF?

Duxbury’s gone, Nani’s gone, Zola’s gone, (the Unholy Trinity who you blamed for our appalling record on transfers) and yet still we are linked with shite players.

You must have a target, surely? S&G, K.B or the unseen hand of Grant?

Hammersfan said...

Yep, that's a very muscular double chin Stani!

Anonymous said...

I do sincerely hope that all the prem managers don,t get the clue

i mean come on another fat injury prone player to join us??

next big thing is that all the managers tell their fringe players to stuff themselves and get fat so west ham will buy them

Stani Army said...

I can't really tell from where I am but if you say he's fat, I'll take your word for it HF ;)

Anonymous said...

according to sky sports news website west ham have said behrami is not for sale and that hes agent as said that he is 99 percent sure behrami will be at west ham next season.

TBI said...

Good player but 7million!? Moyes must be pissing himself.

Anonymous said...

WH will be down by Xmas with Blackpool if we buy these fat, injured, past it, shite players.

Sack the board

Anonymous said...

yakubu is so fat and useless yet he still managed to score against us! in probably our best performance of the season. the guy is big and strong, he kept boro up all by himself he wasn't exactly slim then was he? he also takes a good penalty and has a bit of pace. yes he is a bit lazy and has had injuries but the reality is no player that is in top form, peak of his career, nothing wrong with them... will join us! why would they? past it at 27? hardlies, as fat, useless and out of shape as mido and mccarthy your having a laugh right. mock west ham, mock the fat guy, must be good being so perfect

Hammersfan said...

Shaun Wright-Phillips is so short he scored with a header against us! Bolton were so shite away from home all season that they scored three goals past us! I could go on! Scoring against us is hardly evidence of being world class! Remember, Zola was in charge!

Anonymous said...

I've heard you called Billy Bunter more than McCarthy HF.

TheORGster said...

Censorship occurs when people hold back information from their readers. This is often done to exert control over the readership and prevents free expression that might foment rebellion. Another form of censorship is the phenomenon of disinformation which uses "red herrings" to distract people from some other issue.

Hammersfan said...

Yes, I'm not big on censorship myself. I will not censor anybody's opinion related to football nor will I censor anything genuinely witty nor anything which conveys a passionate viewpoint. I will, however, censor persistent and witless insults and absurdly juvenile sexual and / or racist comments.

Anonymous said...

HF @ Home

http://www.theage.com.au/ffximage/2008/05/16/svICELAND_wideweb__470x383,0.jpg

Kareem said...

Can't believe Franco's gone...Yakubu would be much better than Benni..but we're stuck with Benni...we need that new manager fast before the owners become managers themselves!

Sav said...

They can't be serius! Yakubu today is nearly as bad and as fat as Mido a few weeks ago when he was playing for West Ham. Will you please stop trying to find new key players from the geriatric ward of the Premier League?

Stani Army said...

HF,
Here's the Analytics instructions. I think you got stuck on point 2. These instructions are much clearer.

http://www.eblogtemplates.com/how-to-install-google-analytics-on-blogger/

Implement it and you'll be able to tell things like the geographical location of where visitors are coming from and their ISP. You would then be able to get in touch with the ISP if you have any problems with any stalkers.

Anonymous said...

@10:02 oh how genuinely witty

TurdsOut! said...

@18:02 Stani that is a bit like rocket science to the uninitiated - I find analytics and in particular google adwords mind numbing - the last time I checked mine (I have two commercial websites) I stared at the screen for so long it felt like my eyes were melting...

Stani Army said...

Don't put him off Turds!

It's a powerful tool and has many uses that the likes of us will not understand or use but there are some things which are v.good for us mere mortals.

I always enjoy casting a quick eye over the graphs and charts

Shaun said...

The Yakubu rumour has 'red herring' stamped all over it! Paper Talk...nothing more! Firstly, we reportedly 'offered' £6/7million....then we have had a £5million 'bid' turned down because Moyes wants to recoup the £11.25m that he paid Boro for him??! Yeah right!
He'd make a great squad player/sub now Franco's gone. Fully fit and he's more than a handful for any defence! Fantasy football stuff though I'm afraid!

On the subject of Fantasy Football...Arsenal have tabled a total bid of £14million for Thompkins AND Green...allegedly! I always knew Arsene was a generous man!!