Monday 17 May 2010

Wurzel Gummage? Big Spam? Come off it!


Do we really believe Holloway will soon be breezing through the doors of the Boleyn calling Karren Brady "Aunt Sally"? Can you imagine the reaction of our multi national band of bastards to the West Country scarecrow? As a comedy turn, he could fill a slot at the Christmas Party, but as a manager of West Ham? "Oyie don't know about laaaattttt." Speaking as a Cockney raised in Yeovil in Zumerzet, the idea that somebody speaking as Holloway speaks could manage West Ham is, well, laughable. Turds had a brown Volvo, Holloway would drive down Green Street in a brand new combine 'arvester. On the short list? Only to give the appearance of a list!

And Big Spam, in charge of southern softies West Ham? I can see a certain logic but are Sullivan and Gold so thick skinned that they would opt for Mr Brute Force to join the dynasty of Greenwood and Lyall? I know Zola was a disaster, but surely the Davids would not make such a radical break with the traditions of the club. Imagine the brief given to Tony Carr: "I don't care what he can do with a ball, is he six foot four, built like a brick outhouse and has he got an ASBO? If not, forget it." Bugger the Academy of Football, with Allardyce in charge, we would become the Borstal of Football!

Dave Jones? At the Academy of Football? Unfair I know but some people insist there is no smoke without fire. And leaving that aside, and it should be left aside because the allegations were judged unfounded, the guy does not have the necessary experience in the top division does he? Half a season in charge of Southampton and one full season in the Prem with Wolves, which ended in relegation, don't look good on the CV do they? A very long shot I'd say.

Which, apparently brings us down to Avram. Unless, of course, this short list is a smoke screen. That brown Volvo may yet poodle its way down the Barking Road!

18 comments:

Johnnymoncs said...

join the Just say No to Alllardyce campaign
http://westhamview.blogspot.com/2010/05/just-say-no.html

Anonymous said...

that would be the ian holloway who got blackpool with a tiny budget to play off final and possibly into the prem while playing good football? You could do worse

Hammersfan said...

Yes, that Ian Holloway. The same Ian Holloway who failed at Leicester City, getting them relegated to the old Third Division for the first time in the club's history. The same Holloway who has managed those footballing giants, Bristol Rovers, QPR, Plymouth Argyle, Leicester City and Blackpool. No chance!

Stani Army said...

HF,
I swear I saw somewhere that Grant's win % is the same as Zola's. And he doesn't smile nearly as much.

We're going from a smiler to a right miserable so-and-so!

I think it's G&S playing the media game again. They're chucking out potential names to gauge supporter opinion. I wouldn't have any of them, especially Big Pam whose two managerial students that modelled themselves on him were Sammy Lee (sacked) and Phil Brown (sacked)

Hammersfan said...

I think you'll find that Grant's win ratio was a little better than Zola's when in charge of Chelsea!

Stani Army said...

So you're basically saying "Only if Zola had better players!"

:) Thanks HF, I knew you'd finally agree.

Hammersfan said...

No, I didn't say Zola would have had a better win ratio had he been in charge of Chelsea did I? Imagine Zola managing Drogba, Ballack, Cashley, Terry and Anelka! It would be chaos!

Stani Army said...

Yes you are.

You are saying that because Grant had less talented players at Pompey, his win ratio was poorer than when he was at Chelsea. Therefore, Zola's win ratio (which is the same as Grant's at Pompey) would be better with better players i.e. if Zola was at Chelsea.

Hammersfan said...

Nope, I was just correcting you. You claimed Zola had a better win ratio than Zola. That is statistically incorrect.

Hammersfan said...

I meant than Grant!

Shaun said...

Not exactly a list to inspire confidence or future promise! But what could we really expect, given the club's circumstances?! Mourinho, Guardiola, Deschamps or Van Gaal? Not that gang of four then? Not even a Hughes, Pardew, McLeish or McClaren foursome?!

Either Jones or Holloway will be in the Prem anyway after Saturday, so they must be red herrings...and I can't see us wanting the loser!
SA has had a reasonable season with Blackburn, so I can't see him departing for any other reason than silly money, which ain't gonna happen!

Which leaves us with Grant! Some sceptics say that he only got the Chelski job because of his 'friends in high places'?! They also suggest that he had no control over the players, who did what THEY pleased and played how THEY wanted?! He managed to escape to Portsmouth, but was powerless to avoid relegation! He'd been trying to escape again, but his selfish players only kept winning FA Cup ties didn't they, so he hung around because he needed a new suit and fancied a day out at Wembley! Then he says they owe him money and his contract became null and void because of administration?! Now we learn that he fancies staying in the Prem cos he 'loves the Prem'! Quelle surprise Avvers! He sounds positively ideal for Messrs Gold and Sullivan doesn't he?!!

Anonymous said...

Portsmouth staff confident Grant is on his way to West Ham.

The other 3 names(which have probably been taken out of context anyway) probably added to soften the blow for the Grant doubters. Big Sam at the Academy? - what a wind up...

Bilic would have seemed to have been the most logical choice.

Anyway onwards to the land of milk, honey and massage parlours.

Stani Army said...

HF,
I did not claim Zola had a better win ratio than Grant. Where did I?

I said their win ratio is the same. Grant's win ratio at Pompey is the same as Zola's at West Ham no?

It's a done deal boys, must be. Holloway, Jones, Allardyce were just mentioned to give the impression that G&S actually bothered looking for candidates when in fact they probably just appointed Grunt straight up.

G&S PLEDGE TO BUILD THE IMAGE OF THE CLUB!!! The irony. Does that mean they're quitting?

Hammersfan said...

Splitting hairs Stani! Actually, Zola's win ratio last season was slightly better than Grant's based on the Premiership alone.

Stani Army said...

No, facts HF. You would have used them had they supported your argument. They definitely wouldn't have escaped you.

So why do you think Grant will be better for us than Zola could have been?

If it had been Bilic, fine, I would have accepted that as he is a good man manager and tactician.

Hammersfan said...

Because he isn't Zola; becuase he has been successful everywhere he has been - and taking Pompey to a Cup Final represents success in view of the Administration.

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