Arsenal's Arsene's Bottle Abuse Shame

The Royal Society For The Prevention of Cruelty to Bottles are to write to the Premier League demanding further action be taken against Arsene Wenger following his unprovoked and violent assault upon a plastic bottle in the final minutes of the Manchester United versus Arsenal Premier League clash.

A spokesman for the Society told reporters, "Enough is enough. Time and again bottles get a bad press in football related matters. On Tuesday night, Millwall and West Ham fans were hurling bottles at each other indiscriminately and Wenger had obviously watched and been influenced by those terrible scenes. The video evidence clearly shows a deliberate, wilful and unprovoked attack on the bottle which was not doing anything to upset Mr Wenger at the time."

The spokesman continued, "There is, of course, a long tradition of bottle abuse at Arsenal, although recently we associate these activities more readily with north London rivals, Tottenham Hotspurs. Tony Adams, Paul Merson, Ledley King and David Bentley, a former Arsenal player of course, are all famous for hitting the bottle."

"But it is not only in north London where bottles are abused. We all remember those terrible scenes when West Ham's Alan Curbishley was filmed throwing his bottle out of his pram. And that was before West Ham sold McCartney to Sunderland!"

The unnamed spokesman concluded by saying, "In future, if Mr Wenger wishes to kick something, we suggest the bucket!"