Judge Labels Tottenham Cockyfools

Mr Justice Davis, who strangely despite the name is not a Nigerian right back signed by wheeler dealer 'Arry Redknapp, has rejected Tottenham's attempt to block our move to the Stratford Mausoleum and told Levy and his greasy palmed team of lawyers to "Shut the fcuk up". Attempts to play the discrimination card were soundly rejected, although the Judge apparently stopped just short of choking on his port and exclaiming, "Dear God, that man Gold is a Yid too so how can it be discrimination?"

The best put down of all was when Davis declared that Tottenham's appeal "lacked substance". There was an unnecessary word there of course. Had he known anything about the strange game known to the working classes as Association Football - "It is a game rather like rugger your honour but played with a round ball and without scrums until a female - a female your honour is a fag without male genitalia - as I was saying your honour, a game like rugger but without scrums until a female is introduced to the players in a hotel room after the game" - he could have saved some of his breath and simply said, "Tottenham lack substance" full stop!

Will Tottenham now shut the fcuk up as the Judge ordered? Probably not. Can they win now? Of course not. But when has certain defeat ever stopped the Cockyfools from shouting their mouths off?