Redknapp Aiming At Geriatrics Hotspurs

'Arry must have landed a job lot of zimmer frames from a geezer down at the Nag's Head given his reputed targets in the transfer market. I know keepers go on and on, but Brad Friedel, aged 40, is stretching it a bit! And meanwhile, Spurs, surprise, surprise, are emerging as the favourites to land Parker, with Palacious on his way out of the Redknapp revolving door.

Wheeler Dealer 'Arry Redknapp has clearly decided to ignore the latest models and go for the classic model market instead. How about Upson 'Arry? Dyer is available on a free too!

Building  a team for the Champions League? By the time they qualify, 'Arry's planned recruits will need mobility scooters to get from the dressing room to the pitch! Funnily enough, 'Arry has just bought a job lot of those too!