January Sales - Buy Early Or Else!

According to Gold we are tracking 15 players. That would be Beckham, Pugh, Pugh, Barney, McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble and Grubb plus seven others! Never mind fire sales, we need a fire brigade and a living legend!

We can forget Becks for a starter. I don't want us paying for him and Posh to stay over at the Dorchester, only for Beckham to sign for 'Arry at the end of the week. Let's keep things realistic this time shall we?

Hopefully there are no fat Egyptians floating around in the Dead Sea to be scooped up next time Avram pops over to Israel. And any player coming with a booklet of Burger King vouchers should also be given a wide berth, or girth for that matter!

Sidwell seems like a reasonable first signing. True he is ginger. True he isn't good enough for the Villa team - and Villa are in the bottom 5 - but he has an engine, is full of enthusiasm and scores goals. I'd take him over Spector, Kovac, Behrami and Boa.

Who else? Keane? I doubt he will come, even on loan. Luke Young? Got to be better than Faubert. Bridge aint coming apparently so name me a left back, any left back! And a left winger too. Why exactly did Zola sell Matty?

Anyway, whoever we sign, we have to sign early. The relegation clock is ticking and we can't afford to fart around and pounce at the end of the month. If they are coming, then get them in and get them playing, with the Barnsley game a useful match to stitch a new team together.

I accepted relegation a few games back. Now, like a fool, I see a glimmer of hope. Survival hinges on what happens in January - both on and off the pitch!