Thursday 23 December 2010

Parker Nominated for Top Award


"What next HF? Are you going to criticise Parker for his failure to win a Nobel Prize for Physics?"

Following his outstanding efforts in leading West Ham to bottom place in the Premiership, West Ham captain elect, Scotty Parker has been nominated for the Nobel Prize.

After hearing about the nomination, Newham University's Professor of Midfield Generals, Lee Vitout reasoned: "Obama was given his award after just seven months in the job of President and Parker has been playing for much longer than that!"

He added: "Parker has consistently put West Ham and the fans ahead of himself. Look at the way he has stuck with the club despite our league position. He could have left in the last transfer window, Tottenham wanted him, but Parker signed a new contract didn't he? He committed himself to West Ham for the measly salary of £83,000 per week, just one third per week of what the Prime Minister earns in a year!"

He continued: "And look at what we have achieved with Scotty in the team! We have won two Premiership games out of 18! We have amassed 13 points! We still have all the teams above us within our sights! If we win all three games over the Christmas break we can start thinking about pushing for Europe. We will owe it all to Scotty providing he doesn't get a fifth yellow!"

No hang on, sorry that was a misprint! It was the Noble Prize! Markie drew Parker in the West Ham Secret Santa!

47 comments:

Anonymous said...

Merry Christmas CUNT! hope your Trouble and Strife is Brown Bread!

Hammersfan said...

I have published the above comment to show the depths that some people will sink to. Apologies about the C word.

For your information 1615, my wife spent 3 days in iintensive care and was very, very, very ill for a period of time but did not die. Tell me, what sewer do you live in, posting something so dispicable? You may loath me in your sad little life, but what has my wife ever done to you? I hope you have a good Christmas and learn what the season is supposed to be about somewhere along the way.

westhamfan12 said...

I can understand why someone should act in such a way as this is a truly awful and despicable post that no true West Ham would want to read two days before Christmas.

Your heart is indeed dark to the core and I can see why someone would despise and hate you and want to wish you and your family ill.

Hammersfan said...

Thought you weren't coming back! Tell me, why have you?

Anonymous said...

Can i just say a proper merry christmas to you and your family HF and i hope you have a great one. and merry christmas to all my fellow west ham fans that come on this site. its a pleasure talking and discussing all things about the greatest team in the world which is west ham united football club. and i hope you all have a fantastic christmas. all the best from Wayne the Happy Hammer.

Anonymous said...

im sorry but no matter how much i hate someone. to wish that their family gets ill is absolutely ( in fact i cant even say it ) what a disgrace. that is the lowest of the low. ive had plenty of rows with HF on here but i wouldn't even think to say such a horrible thing. HF i im glad that your wife is o.k and hopefully you can now look to the future with loads of happiness. i hope you and your wife and kids have a fantastic christmas. and merry christmas to all the other true west ham fans that come on here.

Hammersfan said...

Thanks Wayne and 1808. A great Christmas to you. Oh for 3 victories in a row!

westhamfan12 said...

17:28 Ah so you do remember me? why was it you chose not to post my previous message? you seem to have a very thin skin and prefer to hide behind the moderation facility.

Anonymous said...

Wow - so many messages to wish you well HF - you must be overwhelmed, the outpouring of unconditional love brings a lump to my throat.

Headmaster said...

1615 - you disgrace yourself, every West Ham fan and indeed humanity.

HF - seasonal good tidings to you and to yours, indeed to all decent frequenters of this most excellent blog.

Anonymous said...

If I am honest I can see where this guy is coming from you - you court this kind of behaviour - even though it's bad - you are out wind people up - fellow supporters - and for a lot of people the claret and the blue runs very deep. You should know that and shouldn't be such a bloody antagonistic so and so. If you are West Ham please for god sake show a little love from time to time, it's the very least we deserve, especially at the point in the season and this time of the year.

Hammersfan said...

Cheers Headmaster. Have a great hols!

Headmaster said...

To anyone thinking, or even posting, that HF invites / deserves the sort of post that our sub-human friend at 1615 offers, please please think again.

The internet is the very epitomy of freedom of speech and the fact that any of us bother to visit this site above the literally millions of others is because HF writes stuff that we all love. OK, some of us visit it because we love to hate it, some because we love to read the latest crazy interpretation of all things WHU and some because we just plain love it. Anyone who doesn't like it, or doesn't agree with it should get into reasoned argument or simply piss off. And yes, I do know how infuriating that can be with someone as opinionated as HF. But to reason that it is OK to simply throw abusive , obscene and inflamatory insults at the blog-author is at the very least misguided, and at worst inciteful. Unfortunately it is cretins like you that prevent many of us from registering a post and being able to see it posted immediately, which is a great (if apparently necessary) detraction from the site.

Anonymous said...

I suspect 16:15 is a hoax designed to get our sympathy as no one actually speaks in the cockney rhyming slang vernacular. HF has been getting more stick than usual and obviously is feeling a little sorry for himself, it's a cry for help.

Anonymous said...

HF dont take no notice of people who say them things like 16:15 said because he is a disgrace. i may not always agree with what you say HF and i might argue with you from time to time but i would never say things like he said because that is scum. all the best to you and your family. and i hope you have a great christmas mate. ps i cant believe people scoop that low. what a tosser. ( sorry for the bad language )

Anonymous said...

00:10 what do you mean you can see where this guy is coming from. at the end of the day we talk about football and west ham. o.k we all love our football club but does that mean you can say things like i wish your family gets ill because you disagree with what someone says about your favourite football team. grow up man. football is just a game at the end of the day and family and life is so much more important. HF i hope you, your wife and kids have the most brilliant christmas ever. all the best from wayne the happy hammer. ps i lost my dad just before last christmas and this is very very sad to hear people say this sort of crap.

Anonymous said...

Good! we have to put up with your sickness every bloody week. Listen to you saying how our best player is rubbish.... what do you expect? of course it won't make any difference, you'll keep on slagging our team off.

Hammersfan said...

0059, I would not wish my wife dead even as a joke. She was desperately ill and the comment made is truly sick.

Sorry to hear about your Dad Wayne, mine went years ago, shortly after Gooch scored his 333 for England and Platt scored that brilliant goal against Belgium in the World Cup.

Cheers 124 and 139!

Anonymous said...

Aaaah so if was a hoax! no wonder you moderate comments.

Hammersfan said...

1047, you are sick. Did you write the comment yourself?

Anonymous said...

kevin in manchester writes..

hello HF. Happy Xmas and a healthy and fulfilling new year. Behaviour on blogs I think is sometimes like that in cars, people are needlessly abusive in a way they never would be to ones face. Hope your wife makes a full recovery. I'd like to say how much I enjoy this blog.it is dark, mad, incisive, witty, creative and always interesting. as someone who writes for a living I know what a commitment it is to keep up your output and it certainly brightens my day everyday. Good luck mate and keep up the good work.

Hammersfan said...

Spot on Headmaster, although the Spam issue is a further necessity for moderation. For some reason, this comment found its way into the Spam box, whilst Spam advertising porn was in the comments to be moderated box when I got up this morning. It is a sick and complex world out there!

Hang on! Me? Opinionated? I don't think so!

Hammersfan said...

Cheers Kevin. Have a great Christmas mate.

westhamfan12 said...

00:31 "very epitomy of freedom of speech" think that should be epitome but I digress. If we can say what we like then of course 16:15 is to be welcomed along with wikileaks.

Chunky said...

1615, i am truely ashamed as a WH fan to be in any way associated with the likes of you! It is your breed that give us all a bad name.

HF, Stani, Headmaster, Fred, Sav, and all the other regular contributers, i hope you all have a great Christmas. Look forward to more debates with you all in 2011.

Hammersfan said...

cheers chunky, same to you mate

John said...

Happy Christmas to all who enjoy this site and I do hope you HF your wife and family have a lovely time and that your wife makes a full recovery as soon as possible.

Stani Army said...

Thanks Chunky, and you mate. Keep safe

TIS said...

00:31 epitomy?!?!?! oh dear - back to school for HeadMaster

Basildon_Bob said...

You reap what you sow in my book..... good things happen to nice people and bad things to those who are shits.

Hammersfan said...

Lots of bad things been happening to you Bob? Hope you have a great Christmas and that things pick up in the New Year.

Basildon_Bob said...

put it this way.... no one wished my wife dead

Hammersfan said...

Take care, being spiteful like that might provoke somebody to do so if you are right in what you say! I repeat, have a great Christmas and I hope you do not reap what you have just sown!

TIS said...

01:43 from where I am sitting HF it looks like you were twice spiteful to bob... not sure he implied anything with his first statement. However, you were pretty rude in your opener. Bob is a good sort, he posts on WHTID all the time.

Hammersfan said...

Me? Spiteful to Bob? Spiteful to this site's Mr Cratchit? I wish him a Merry Christmas twice! How is that spiteful? By the way, TIS uses full stops in his name. But they aint big on punctuation in Basildon are they? Merry Christmas for a third time!

Basildon_Bob said...

Not big on punctuation? funny how you can slag off your own kind - never been able to get my head round that one.

Basildon is West Ham - why would you make such derogatory comments against your own people? a lot of people from Basildon are from the East End. Myself I'm from Croydon Road Canning Town, does that not make me good enough?

Only a person who hates themselves would come out with a comment like that.

fred149 said...

hf answre th eman

Chunky said...

personally would prefer an answer from the Headmaster - if you're going to set yourself up as some sort of teaching expect then the minimum requirement is good spelling surely?

Hammersfan said...

Think you meant expert. If you're going to take somebody to task for his spelling...

Hammersfan said...

Capital letter needed after a question mark Basildon. I blame the schools!

Clever_Trevor said...

Epitomy is surely a spelling error whereas expect is more likely to be a typo

Chunky said...

HF, looks like i have my very own alter-ego. How flattering! You should be able to spot the imposter quite easily with spelling like that though at least

Hammersfan said...

Yeah I did realise mate. He uses the names of everybody because he is not man enough to write under his own!

H4MM3R said...

the rules of the game, there are no rules - you taught me that one HF

Chunky said...

Chunky - we can spot you a mile off with grammar like that... "You should be able to spot the imposter quite easily with spelling like that though at least"

T.I.S. said...

.......with spelling like that though at least"

Obviously not his best work.

Chunky said...

Imposter, judging by some of your other posts, you are in no position to school anyone on their grammar