Wednesday, 29 December 2010

New Law Named After West Ham

A team of Cambridge Professors has discovered a new Law, a variant on the old Sod's Law. Leading Academic and Doctor of Probability Lee Vitout explained: "Sod's Law states that if something CAN go wrong, then it WILL go wrong. For example a piece of buttered toast dropped from a plate will always fall butter side down. However, our research has revealed the need for a sub law, the Law of Sod with knobs on. The new law, established following a ten year study of West Ham United Football Club states, "'Even if it CAN'T go wrong, it WILL go wrong'."

He continued: "How else can you explain sacking Harry Redknapp, who has since gone on to be one of the most successful English managers in the game, leading local rivals into the Champions League? And replacing him with Glenn Roeder?"

"How can you develop the core of the England national side through your youth team and still get relegated?"

"How can you be taken over by a billionaire and then find yourself on the brink of bankruptcy?"

"How can the signing of two great Argentinian players blow up in your face?"

"And how can you climb off the foot of the table, only for Birmingham to secure a draw against Manchester United with a last minute goal from Ian Bowyer, Fulham win away for the first time in God knows how long, Wigan equalise against Arsenal with an own goal when down to ten men, and Wolves win at Anfield?"

"That's not possible is it? That's not Sod's Law, that is West Ham's Law!"

16 comments:

Anusnymous said...

HF positivity index -10

USA Dave said...

You big negative girl - any team from 11th down could get relegated with only 5 points between West Ham & Everton, apart from Grant - what's the problem?

Stani Army said...

You forgot "How can you be left with Avram Grant as your manager" HF. That's the ultimate example of 'West Ham's Law' no?

You think Grant will play Faubert against Jarvis? Or worse still, Ben Haim?

Anonymous said...

Joker!

Headmaster said...

The series of results over the last 24 hours is almost unbelievable. I'd also add Blackburn's impressive 3-1 win at WBA to the list. Every Hammer must be feeling crestfallen tonight, I know I am. The bottom half of the Prem is incredibly compressed but you have to say, failure to beat Wolves on Saturday and we'll all trudge away from the Boleyn with that sinking feeling.

Matty said...

Crest fallen?! only for the weak - refer to USA Dave to put stuff in to perspective.

PS glad to see Iain welcomed you back with open arms after your very camp hissy fit.

Headmaster said...

"Matty" - thanks for the lesson in positivity, it's made a real difference in my life.

On the Iain 'welcomimg me back' line, since you appear to have taken such a keen interest and can recall events enough to dredge them up some 6 months later, you just might remember that my very camp hissy fit (you'd know) was directed towards Dale's insistence at using a form of peer-rating that was denegrating the credibility of his site by being hijacked by the muppet brigade, perhaps of which you are a member. A close look at WHTID now will reveal that the offending feature had been unceremonially removed. In the words of Julian Clary (a very camp 80's comedian) - "I thank you".

Matty said...

00:12 Glad to have been able to install a little bit of backbone regarding the currently points predicament of the 10 teams with 22 points or less. I believe a less hysterical view is far more becoming of someone who sets themselves up as some sort of master.

Real men obviously stand by their convictions - you must remember that you left Iain's camp squealing like the hill-billy's victim in Deliverance "never to return" - That is hardly the epitomy (your word not mine) of a strong character now is it? I mean how do you expect us to take anything you say seriously?

Headmaster said...

Matty, frankly my dear I couldn't give a flying toss whether or not you chose to 'believe' any of my opinions although it is interesting that you clearly have some sort of axe to grind! If I'm not worth the comment, don't comment fella.
Anywaysup, I get a lot of feedback from a lot of genuine posters on a number of sites, so I'll leave you to your rantings mate. Who will you be tomorrow? Anonymous is always a good one on here. Or even 'Headmaster' the mark 2 or 3 version.
Happy New Year to ya.

Hammersfan said...

Sorry Headmaster, your reply ended up in Spam again for some reason. That's twice now. Don't know what's going on. Happy New Year to you mate. Friend "Matty" is a twat who carries a whole bag of McCann chips on each shoulder!

Matty said...

HF I wouldn't have thought an apology was in order as it sounds like your filter is doing a truly excellent job!

Anyway Master of Head - I am commenting on your posts just like of lot posters from other sites.... so I don't really know what your problems is.

Hammersfan said...

If you mean by that, that I have not allowed through a comment that simply amounted to a spiteful attack on another poster on the site, then it is working. Why not engage in debate rather than venting bile?

Matty said...

you know what I mean - why choose to distort your understanding of peoples replies - it doesn't make you look good

Hammersfan said...

No idea what you are talking about now!

Matty said...

when I said you filter is doing an excellent job it was in referral to the fact that the Master of Head's posts were ending up as spam. You chose to distort your understanding to back up a rather lame joke.

Hammersfan said...

I genuinely misunderstood. Last post unless you are saying something worth reading. Otherwise you will simply be wasting your time.