Friday 12 November 2010

A Boa Round the Neck

Boa has never been the most popular player at Upton Park. Two goals in 62 starts, with a further 32 appearances as substitute, is not likely to endear you to the fans when you have been bought as an offensive player.

Turds famously described him as four players rolled into one. That may be true, but the problem is, four crap players rolled together do not one good player make! As a forward he is crap. As a holding midfielder he is crap, playing wide on the right he is crap, and playing wide on the left he is pretty crap too. In front of goal he is crap. In a tackle, he is crap. In the air, he is crap. On the ground, he is crap.

Of course, occasionally he has a good game. Occasionally he times a tackle and takes the ball. Occasionally he plays a brilliant pass (as against Birmingham).  Occasionally, well very occasionally, well so occasionally it hardly counts, he scores! But give somebody enough chances and, occasionally, he will surprise you. Even Spector has had the odd good game for West Ham.

In my book, Boa has had more than enough chances. He isn't a diamond, not even a rough one; he is a lump of coal. Running around isn't enough. Trying hard isn't enough. Nearly taking the ball in a tackle isn't enough. I once jokingly proposed feeding the guy to a crocodile but, thinking about it, the crocodile might not be interested because he probably tastes pretty crap too.

Isn't it incredible the way Boa popped up with that goal in what had been earmarked as his final appearance for the team? Funny that!

In truth, Luis is less a Boa and more a halter around the neck!

11 comments:

Headmaster said...

He's utterly useless. But then, so are around 70% of the squad.

Anonymous said...

you could chuck nobles name in there and it'd still be a coherent argument

hammalot said...

Boa is useless. We should make a move for Charlie Adam if his contract situation isnt resolved asap.

Anonymous said...

You have summed him up perfectly. I have said to friends about him before "what does he bring to the team?". I will not repeat your list of the things he cannot do, but there is not ONE thing he does well and so brings NOTHING to the team. We had a chance to get rid of him at the end of last season and for some inexplicable reason we offered him a 2 year contract. Madness! For Grant to say he is "one of our better players" tells me all I need to know about how clueless our manager is.

UKIT said...

Don't agree. An average premiership player that could fit into any premierhsip team and do a job, yes.

But completely useless? no way.

If we were Man U, Man City, Arsenal or similar then yes I would agree with you.

But we are relegation fodder, bottom of the league West Ham and there a lot worse performing players in the squad than Boa Morte.

Tomkins, Faubert, Illunga, Cole, Upson, Green, Da Costa, Reid, Ben Haim, Behrami.

Hammersfan said...

Poopycock 0051, Noble has been superb this season.

fred149 said...

UKIT u clearly dont know a thing as u are now saying tht da costa is worse then boa morte behrami green u sir r an idiot

Hammersfan said...

God we are crap UKIT! It's not JUST Boa!!!!

TurdsOut! said...

1142 poopycock?!?! - I'm not sure we want to know what you get up to at the weekends - but judging by the picture from your personal archive we can reluctantly guess.

Hammersfan said...

Oops, TurdsOut, guess that makes me a Turds Stealer! Still, I am West Ham Til I Die I suppose!

UKIT said...

Fred149, I think HammersFan would have different opinion on Green and Behrami and I'm open debate on Green. But as for Da Costa and Behrami, their "performances" have been inconsistent and as Boa.

I think the whole team is poor, with Parker, Noble and Piquione the exception.

Whilst I like Obinna he has so far shown he can't shoot to save his life. I'm willing him on as some of his play has been exceptional.