Interesting to read that the OS is advertising the opportunity to play at the Boleyn. They claim it is in the Frank McAvennie seventh annual football tournament, but I reckon it is in the hope of finding somebody who can play left back!
Can he run? Check. Has he got a left foot? Check. Has he got a right foot too? Check. Can he tackle? Check. Does he look in any way interested in the game when on the pitch? Check.
Sign him, he's got to be better than Ilunga and Spector!
Now, how about a forward? Does he weigh less than seventeen stone? Check. That's enough, sign him as a replacement for McBenni!