Thursday 4 November 2010

Captain Upson Set To Quit

He still wears the captain's armband, though God knows why. It has been clear for some considerable time that Upson's heart is not in playing for West Ham.

He rocks up, does his time and claims his fantastic wage - but doesn't put in a stroke more than is absolutely necessary. At the slightest hint of an injury, he sits down on his arse, shakes his head and refuses to go near, never mind through, the pain barrier. It's a twinge in the neck one week, a bit of heat in the hamstring the next; but funnily enough, I can't remember him missing an England game because of injury. He didn't dare treat Capello with the contempt he has shown to Zola and Grant. Not that the respect is reciprocated by the bespectacled pillock in charge of the England national team.

Originally he was signed to help us avoid relegation; but only managed two starts in the Great Escape season. Since then, he has insisted on using his own witch doctor to tend to his very personal injury problems, which, as with Ashton, means he is a rule unto himself. You can script what is said when Upson downs tools mid match. The club's physio, furiously shaking the pain killing can, asks: "The boss wonders if you could perhaps soldier on as we are up against it here?"
Upson, shaking his head replies:"I would, but my specialist says not to. I would, you know I would. But I can't go against my specialist's advice."

Now Captain Matty is planning to walk away on a Bosman. After pocketing sixty grand a week for the past three and a half years, our Captain Ordinary feels under no obligation to stick with the club in its hour of need. Quite the reverse, he plans to run down that contract and negotiate one final pay day elsewhere.

Why has he still got the armband? Strip him of the captaincy and tell him he's not wanted beyond this season anyway. Bosman? We're giving you a free you lily-livered, knackered, old carthorse!

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

let him go. his one of the reason west ham are in this mess in the first place taking home 70 thousand a week and draining the club dry and giving nothing back in return. with got to many players at the club who are just the same like cole, dyer, gabbidon. its about time we had a clear out and got rid of the dead wood and brought some hungry young tallent to the club who actually care about their football instead of their wage packet. upson has probably been our worst ever captain and i dont even rate him as one of our best centre backs. his 32 now and way passed his best which is not saying much to be honest. i would drive him to his next club along with cole, kovac, specter, boa morte, and gabbidon.

Anonymous said...

oh and i forgot fatboy benny big mac.

T.I.S said...

why Gabbidon mate?

Anonymous said...

alright mate. the reason i said gabbidon is because his another one who's always injured and yes i know his played the last few games but he was out injured for 2 years before that and i dont think he will ever get back to the player he was when he first came to the club. anyway would he get a game now if our defence wasn't so bad ( i dont think so personally ) and how long will it be till he gets injured again. i just think its time for a clear out and some young hungry blood brought to the club. but thats just my opinion but i think thats what our club needs instead of all the old over the hill injury prone players that are just picking up their big wages and not doing much good for the club.

Zito said...

Upson's best is certainly behind him.

I will never forget the fire he showed in that wonderful fighting 2-1 win at the Boleyn against Man U in late December 2007 when he and Anton headed home late goals to pinch a well-deserved win. At the time I was a huge Upson fan , and believed the man epitomised the spirit of a club attempting to punch above its weight.

Sadly, and perhaps the injuries have contributed, little of this fire and passion has been evident over the past two years. It is time, as they say, for the parting of the ways.

Based on Da Costa and Gabbidon's excellent displays this season against Spurs and Arsenal they would have to be viewed as the best starting centre pairing now. Avram may seek to upgrade the defensive pairing in January but really, there are other, glaring holes in the side which need filling more urgently.

We need a left back (Daprela would have done nicely, thank you) and desperately need a striker who can play off Cole or Piquionne and get into goal-scoring positions. Robbie Keane would have fit this bill beautifully.

Above all, we need Noble healthy again - he seems to be our main creative outlet - and when goals are as scarce as happy Englishmen in South Africa this summer, you can be sure we won't be banging them in from all parts anytime soon.

TBI said...

Yeah cash in and get what we can. I see Grant has been given win win backing he wanted. Apparently if we go down (or not) Grant keeps his job.

Anonymous said...

Have to agree that at gabbidons age he ain't gonna improve and his more likely to pick up more injurys now if thats possible for someone who's only played a hand full of games in the last 2 or 3 years.

Anonymous said...

To change the subject did any of my fellow hammers who come on this site go to the parade at upton park after our 1-0 victory over arsenal. ive seen the parade on youtube and i wished i could have been their but i was only 4 months old at the time. it must have been brilliant to have 250,000 hammers fans going mad. i just wanted to know what the experience was like because i went to the parade arter we got promoted but it was nothing like that. i just hope we can win a big trophy one day so i can experience what it was like. coyi

Anonymous said...

Is it premature to expect Tomkins or even Spence to be given a chance at senior level? Reid's form in the reserves doesn't inspire much confidence. If we're going down we might aswell start building for the future as we do have some decent players in those two, Hines, Nouble, Collison etc. to be able to build a side around whilst getting rid of all of the deadwood.

Anonymous said...

Just 1 thing to ask my beloved club. Before this arrogant,talentless nomark goes anywhere on the last day of training can I "request"that we delegate some youngster that is going to get a free from us to go out and absolute smash his fragile knee/tits whatever to oblivion!! That way even if it wont recompence West ham for whats gone on before it will stop some other poor sod of a team getting ripped off by 1 of the biggest cheats its been the modern games misfortune to know!!

Anonymous said...

Why you writing about Upson on a Spurs blog? Sort it out! All the best to Madame Fan ; )

John said...

How do Blackpool keep winning? They have a team of nobody's, but always look sound in defence and dangerous in attack. Obviously they play as a team and completely for each other. They are also giving a 100% effort, and now believe in themselves.Is there something else?
The team can not have cost anything like that of West Ham, but they are well up the league and we are the foundations. What ever they are doing West Ham need to copy it and copy it as from now

Ted said...

I don't have any particular dislike for Upson but then again I'm not really a fan of his either.

That to me, pretty much sums him up in terms of his football and his personality. He seems a decent bloke and an average PL standard centre back. Nothing more, nothing less. The thing is though, we really need our captain to have a little something more about them than Upson provides. A spark, some drive, passion.

In all fairness he's a bit of non-entity. It's not his fault, we are who we are, but he would be my last choice for captaincy of any team let alone a premier league football club. I've never really seen any personality from him, he comes across quite robotic.

Of course, we only see his public persona so he may completely different in private, behind closed doors (lets hope so!) but I've never known a WH captain to have such a low media and and fan profile. He rarely does TV or media interviews and doesn't appear to rally or organise the troops on the pitch. I even get emailed regular blog updates from the club written by Scott Parker but never a word from Upson. Odd.

I'd prefer him to stay as part of the team (not Captain) but don't think he'd be a big loss to the team or the club. Would we really notice when he's gone?

Paul said...

22:16 - I was lucky enough to be at that parade and it was amazing!

I was only seven and we were living in Leytonstone at the time. It's one of my earliest memories so obviously the details are sketchy. I remember being on my Grandad's shoulders in full WH kit, scarf, hat et al spinning my footie rattle (old school style!) and going nuts as the bus went past.

Can't remember anything coming close to that kind of WH celebration since. The play off and FA cup finals were special but the parade was on a whole different scale!

Happy, happy days mate.

fred149 said...

Well anybody else noticed how paekr is always refered to as captain never upson. i wonder why.... not!!!

Hammersfan said...

Yes Fred, it is odd, because when Upson went off injured, he took off the armband and passed it to Scotty, so he remains the official captain off and on the pitch. I reckon Scotty lets the captaincy get to him and he tries to do a bit too much. I would make either Noble or Hitzlespurger captain when and if either / both are fit.

Anonymous said...

thanks paul for letting me know your wonderful experience at the 1980 fa cup final parade mate its very much appreciated. i just hope we can both experience another one in the not to distance future. all the best mate :-)