Saturday 13 November 2010

Home From Home for Blackpool

So the Tangerine Dreamers arrive at the Boleyn today and what will they see when they get off the team coach? Avram hurrying out of a massage parlour wearing a kiss me quick hat, a bunch of donkeys heading for the home dressing room, fortune tellers reading East Enders' palms ("I see a very short Premiership life line"), Upson and Green setting up deck chairs in the penalty box, a stadium that looks like a sand castle and is in imminent danger of tumbling down, clapped out cabaret "stars" seeing out the fag ends of their careers under a banner of "For one more season only", and thirty thousand exhausted trippers hoping for a great day out but knowing, in their hearts, that this is no theatre of dreams, but a tawdry pantomime show where we are destined always to be Judy, under the kosh of Punch.

Welcome to the Boleyn. We too have a tower. A tower of shit!

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

Define the word 'Fan' and then explain your internet name. Shouldn't this blogsite be called "I'vegonecrazy"?????

Anonymous said...

we are going to win 5-0

Hammersfan said...

I don't know 1330. What is your name?

Anonymous said...

Will you be going to the game today Hammersfan?

Masty said...

I have no idea why and there is no logic behind my prediction but I think lil Benni will come on & score the winner for us

Hammersfan said...

No. And by Sullivan and Gold's definition of West Ham fans - they claim there are 1,000,000 of us out there - another 969,000 West Ham fans will not be there either.

Why am I not there? My son now has a part time job so can no longer attend games, and my wife is in need of convalescent care so I have to do all her work at the weekend whilst also keeping down my full time job. A difficult time for me to be honest. Not that I expect you to care.

Jonny said...

Please spare us your 'match report' then as it's totally worthless.

Would be akin to reviewing a film without watching it; a book without reading it; an album without listening to it.

Wouldn't you agree?

fred149 said...

mar knoble in Starting 11

jonny said...

And you're right, you shouldn't expect anyone to care and I'll tell you why:

You have spent your entire internet life (which obviously IS your life) trying to wind people up, trying to make people angry for your own amusement so why should anyone give a stuff about you. You have consciously made yourself easy to hate so don't bleat on when you find out that everyone does hate you.

You have also, throughout your internet life, proven yourself to be dishonest and deceitful, again solely for the purpose of getting people's backs up. I don't think anyone would be surprised if you didn't even have a wife or a child - a working or sick one at that. Your reputation precedes you and is why you have exiled yourself here, behind your own protective wall.

Read the fable of the boy who cried wolf. You could and should learn a lot from it.

Hammersfan said...

Funnily enough Rubber, you can see a game without being at the ground. There's this wonderful invention called the internet with live streaming. Amazing. I take it you are not going by the way, because you are leaving it desperately late!

I may not have a wife, a live one or a sick one. I may not have a son. You have no idea do you? How sad is your obsession though? Why do you come here if you hate the site so much? Please explain.

jonny said...

I think you need to look the word 'obsession' up. Then take a good objective look at yourself. I'm here as it's match day and I was browsing the newsnow site for the days news. I'm off now, but I'll leave you to foam at the mouth at your keyboard.

Anonymous said...

Well said Johnny. You'd have to question his maturity

Anonymous said...

you know what this site and hammersfan reminds me of? a little mouthy bloke who ends up getting a punch in the face. then he waits until the person who has punched him is far enough away, a safe distance, before he starts hurling abuse at him, i.e. 'yeah, you're nothing...!!'

so he gets made a fool of and then is left trying to win whatever battle he thinks he's in except he's stood there talking to himself.

i think it's great the way he's willing to humiliate himself in public like this and should be encouraged!

Anonymous said...

yes, well said jonny. I remember a while ago he was talking about being interviewed on tv. Then, his 'wife' became ill and he couldn't do it. how convenient!!

as if he has a wife! can you think of any woman that would want to be anywhere near someone like this??!

Anony said...

Jonny and Anony make a nice couple

Hammersfan said...

1510 and 1536, why are you posting on here when West Ham are playing? Not interested in the game? What kind of "fans" are you exactly?