They walk slowly up the aisle. Grant looks around expectantly and smiles at his bride. Brady trembles, her slow steps falter, she looks behind hopefully, but Gold urges her on, whispering in her ear. As Karren reaches the front of the synagogue, Grant steps into the aisle and takes her by the hand; and the service begins:
"Do you, Karren Brady, take Avram Grant as your lawfully hired manager, to have and to hold, for better or for worse, till death do you part, so help you God?" Grant smiles and slides a blotchy hand across her bottom.
Suddenly Brady panics. She gasps in horror and looks around desperately, for Pardew, O'Neill, Zola, ANYBODY! She tries to step away, but Gold grips her by the arm and whispers, "Say I do! Say I do!"
"But..." Brady protests. "Look at him! Look at that face! Look at that body! Dear God, just picture his credentials!"
"Stay calm", Gold whispers. "Remember, one week before we sacked Zola I was on Radio Five Live, saying he would be our manager for many years to come! It's only words. Words mean nothing. Say, I do!"
The Rabbi clears his throat and asks again, "Do you, Karren Brady, take Avram Grant as your lawfully hired manager, to have and to hold, for better or for worse, till death do you part, so help you God?"
Brady wipes away a tear and says through gritted teeth, "Probably"!
16 comments:
Mate your a dick, plain and simple , no if's or but's - YOUR A DICK!
Bloody hell, this must be one of the lowest points for this blog. Is this really the best you could come up with?
Quality, not quantity you silly little man.
Perhaps you could share these nuggets with your friends instead of online. Oh, sorry...
You're a dick. I may be a dick, but I am a dick that can spell. Unlike you!
By the way, you do not need apostrophes for plurals. But then I'm a literate dick, unlike you!
As for you 1919, I am seriously worried about you. No friends? Does that explain why you keep coming here?
Made me laugh.
Very droll HF
Cheers Ted & John.
Amusing stuff HF. Different. Tangental. Outside the box.
I can think of a few sites that might suit the tastes of 1836 and 1919 but this isn't one of them.
Fortunately (un?), when you put the letter 't' into the address bar of internet explorer, it comes up with all of the sites you visit that begin with a 't'. Just as well if the spelling of 1836 is anything to go by. After all, thegamesgonecrazy.blogspot.com has quite a potential for typo errors wouldn't you say? Equally, 'the' comes before 'tosspot' alphabetically. Just a thought.
droll!?! do you wear a cravat hf? that word went out in the 70's
@19:37 - your comments re having no friends is pretty lame considering that was what was levelled at you.
It's much like a child in an argument who, after being called a tw*t responds with 'yeah, you're a tw*t'.
Seems that the only skill you once possessed, i.e. keeping an argument going (as writing has clearly never been a skill of yours), has left you.
Why don't you start a different blog and try and write some original posts rather than just parroting what you're read on other sites and generally just making yourself look silly?
(that's actually a serious suggestion - your football knowledge is clearly limited, you have no connection or inside information about WHUFC to share and you don't even attend the matches. Those facts makes pretty much anything you choose to write on here pretty redundant.)
HF ive noticed that the only way you can have a pop at someone is by slagging off their spelling why is that ? do you really think people care about what their spelling looks like on this joke of a site. i bet you slag off my spelling now but like everyone else on here i dont care. but i thought i would bring it to your attention.
0526, not just spelling but capital letters and apostrophes - and you need to go back to school. You might find a better job than night watchman then!
0022, I can't think of anything more childish than leaving insults on a blog personally, nor something that better displays a sad and broken life. Why don't you try DOING something yourself?
0018, I didn't use the word "droll".
Cheers Headmaster. Amazing that with all these cuts and tax rises, we can still afford to add another sponger to the Civil List. I suppose Kate is like Hitzlespurger. Cost nothing to sign but will be paid to lay on her back! And God help us when she starts to produce Royal sprogs! Another penny on the pound in income tax!
Night watchman haha dont think so you div. ive got a week off work this week but if you must know im a qualified plumber who probably takes home more money in one weekend then you get in a month but not like im boasting or anything well maybe a little. and no i dont clean other people's shit like ive seen you say to other plumbers on here because i only do major jobs. so who do you think is the div again ? haha you lose again.
Anyway HF so you can spell can you yippy that must be great but im better looking then you and i have no trouble pulling the ladies and ive also got a good job which pays great. i know what i prefer :-)
I don't think I do lose. Firstly, you have no idea what I look like. Secondly, I "pulled" a very attractive woman and married her. She has proved to be an excellent mother to my children. I don't have to work at the weekend and would never dream of doing so! The weekend is the weekend, providing you can afford to have the weekend off. Indeed, I could now stop working thanks to the properties I rent out and make every day a weekend. I choose not to but plan to stop altogether in three year's time. Unlike you, working my way up the career ladder has NEVER involved clearing up other people's shit and, because I have always earnt enough to make it unnecessary for my wife to work, I didn't even have to deal with the kids' nappies.
But it is not about winning and losing. If we didn't have plumbers, who would clear up my shit if the plumbing went wrong? And thanks to insurance policies, if it ever happens - and it did once - I don't even have to fork out for the call out and repairs! And I'm telling you,, even though it was my own shit, there was no way I was going near it!
HF did that shit your talking about come out of your mouth by any chance.
Very funny 0725.
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