Wednesday 5 January 2011

Newcastle 0 West Ham 5 - Just Like Our Dreams!

Would you believe it? All this talk of relegation, all this talk of Grant being an idiot, all this talk of the players being incompetent, demotivated, useless, disinterested, gutless, hopeless, dispirited...and then this!

People suggested that Christmas might have been a false dawn, that 8 points from 4 games was just a blip in an otherwise miserable season, that the festive period was merely that little final jump in the flat line before the continuous beeeeeeeepppppp sounded and the sheet was pulled once and for all over the face of the patient. What did they know? O ye of little faith! Now bend your knees and pay homage at the alter of Avram!

Have you ever seen such a performance? Have you ever seen such a show of unity? Have you ever seen such spirit, commitment, resolve or determination? And to think, some idiots wanted Pardew reappointed at West Ham. Some idiots suggested it was a mistake to sack the guy in the first place. One idiot even chose to recall the last time West Ham played a Pardew team, back in the days of Curbishley, when we were tonked 4-0. What does that idiot know! He even suggested yesterday that Wolves wouldn't go down. Wolves! Who tonight were humiliated in a game against no hopers Chelsea!

But back to tonight, back to a back line so brilliantly drilled and organised by tactical maestro Wally Downes, back to the mighty Ben Haim, James Tomkins, Matthew Upson and Danny Gabbidon. Charged with keeping out a team made up of players that together had scored 13 goals so far this season and a strike force that totalled one Premiership goal between them, they were unbelievable.Green didn't make one save of note all night! Incredible!

And what a performance from the midfield unit of Sears, Parker, Kovac and Noble! Such energy, such vision, such speed of thought, such quick feet, such wonderful interplay, such sublime passing, such brilliant tracking of midfield runners! And then, after the break, the introduction of midfield general Behrami and master finisher and set piece taker Victor Obinna!

And up front, Piquionne and Cole, the Twin Towers of this incredible performance!

I watched the three episodes of the Godfather this week. If I was Grant, I would politely decline a lift home in Gold's Rolls Royce tonight. He should stay on the team coach and share the journey home with our team of heroes, those West Ham men good and true who, in typical fashion, went up North and gave their all for the club, the shirt and the travelling fans.

Relegation candidates? You're having a giraffe! Playing like this all talk of candidates is redundant.

Player Ratings:

Are you serious?

17 comments:

Hammered said...

If that bloke don't get the boot tonight/tomorrow morning then that proves that we've got jack shit in the kitty! It's got to be the only reason why he doesn't get the sack because we can't afford to pay him off...
Why the fuck didn't we get Pardew back before Christmas??? Even if we still went down, at least we'd be able to say we went down fighting! Rather than go down, bent over with a pineapple stuck out our asses!!!

Anonymous said...

Comparable to the 6-0 tonking at Reading a few seasons back.

I can never understand why we don't press up more and restrict the passing space for the opposing midfield, tonight we were sitting back in our own area just letting them get the ball to their forwards at will.

Anonymous said...

Hammered:

Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the fruits of the Earth... complete with bar code labels.

Rev said...

Thank your lucky stars you were not there to witness it Fanno. Just back from the game and the only positive I can give you is our fantastic support especially in the 2nd half.

Hammersfan said...

Settle down and watch the Ashes mate! Shame our players aren't in the bloody urn!

el martillo said...

Reuters 10pm - Two swallows were found dead on Tyneside this evening. Some witnesses said they were stoned to death with a lump of coal, others that they just committed suicide.

Anonymous said...

I am considering hiring the West ham squad for my sons 6th birthday party. I am sure 11 clowns would keep them entertained for a least 90 mins. How on earth, Grant and his hoard of shit ever sleep at night is beyond me, oh thats right, its because they dont have to worry about the ever rising cost of fuel and the tax hikes us mugs continully face on a almost regular basis in our normal hardworking, honest, daily lives, as they know that a clench of the fist, and a kiss of the badge, along with the occasional 40 yard dash to make a pointless tackle will keep us passionate mugs lining their bulging pockets forever more. Who cares about paying £1.38 per litre when you earn £30,000 per week? Well tomorrow, I will attend my tiring, monotonous, almost degrading job, to earn my minimum wage, to fuel my car, to pay my increasing bills, to clothe my children, worrying when the next expense will land on my plate. Tonight, I ask that my beloved West Ham 'players' wake up and ask themselves 'did I work hard for my money today, and tomorrow when they awake, ask themsevles 'do I dread the day ahead of me'. Everyday my answer is the same.....Yes! CAM THE DISTRAUGHT HAMMER

Chunky said...

Speechless! a totally shocking performance. Surely you must agree now that Grant MUST go. I fully understand the logic that he needs time to build his team but his tactics are obvious and he cant motivate anyone. I dont think he will be able to build us into a winning side regardless of what division we are in.

Its ok though, he says that he doesnt think the result will sap the morale from the players. Impossible when the morale tank is full of cobwebs!

Change is needed and i dont even care if the replacement manager gets us relegated. At least he might show some signs that he will be able to get us back up!

Moore2come said...

5-0! 5fackin0! Truky one of the very worst performances not just in ours but any "football" team's history! Grant should walk or those dipsticks who employed him should sack his arse come first light. I see .Org is down. Probably collapsed under the tsunami of negativity that would have rushed through. Am totally disgusted at my team today and am amazed that depsite every team above us having at least one game in hand we're not cut adrift as this is the bottom of a barrel full to overflowing with shite performances

Anonymous said...

Surprised. Dismayed. Angry. That's how I feel. Surprised: I mean, what's the point of Grant going on all week about his lucky scarf and then not wearing it at the match. I knew immediately I saw it that we were in for a tonking. Not because I believe in superstitions, but because I know that sport is practically based upon them -- it's human psychology at work. And all the players will have known about that lucky scarf and it will have affected them adversely for Grant not to wear it. Dismayed: West Ham didn't particularly bolt out of the starting gate, but they did have the first real chance when Parker shot on goal. Then we had a good break and Freddie Ping Pong inexplicably passed right to NO ONE AT ALL. He hung his head and so did nine other outfield players. Result 1-0 down. Angry: The reaction, or rather the lack of it deserves nothing but the harshest criticism. As soon as the first goal was scored West Ham was looking to go into Half Time at 1-0 down. There was SO MUCH TIME left!!! Didn't they watch the Villa v Chelsea match a few days ago? Didn't they know you can still score a goal in twenty five minutes? No, they sat back and let it go to 2-0 and roll on to 3-0, then 4-0 and 5-0, when it was just plain silly. West Ham are an utter disgrace, and back on the bottom where they belong. Wolves showed how to react to being bottom of the league with a fine win against Chelsea. Any chance of us doing that? NO. West Ham will always be my team, but I will have to support them in the championship. PS: while we were dithering over £250,000 and £35,000 a week, Steve Sidwell signed for Wolves. THANKS HEAPS GOLD AND SULLIVAN! You're just too special for words.

Jack said...

The trouble with sacking Grant right now, is that it's the January transfer and we need players. Who was to come to a managerless club propping up the rest of the league?

John said...

I agree with you 2310. We always look sounder in defence and more likely to score when we press forward there for it baffles me why 90% of the time we retreat to our own penalty area.We make a stand in the most dangerous position. Is it a lack of fitness, vigour, physical strength? unfortunately I think it is, and until that is rectified we will never get off bottom of the table

westhamfan12 said...

Rather than sackings - why now swapsies? Here's how I see it....

Hodgson to West Ham: Looking at the current travails at Anfield, it's easy to forget what a great job Woy did at Craven Cottage. Let him go to Upton Park where, freed from a squad full of egos and the crushing weight of fan expectation, he can concentrate on whipping a group of serviceable players into shape just in time for an amazing relegation escape at home to Sunderland on the final day.

Ancelotti to Liverpool: The Italian is well-used to handling the expectations of a multiple European Cup-winning club and its demanding support, and a much better manager than Chelsea's current malaise suggests. This guy has won Serie A, the Champions League twice and the double last season.

Grant to Chelsea: And why not? The last time he was took over mid-season at Stamford Bridge, the Blues finished runners-up in the league and Champions League. After Mourinho left, Grant kept things ticking over while the club searched for their next permanent boss, and he can do the same again.

Anonymous said...

I keep hearing about "motivation" yet I wonder how Grant managed to get his Pompey side motivated enough to play for him week in week out, players that weren't being paid and had the threat of being forcibly sold at any moment? How was Jamie O'Hara motivated enough to play when he had trouble walking most days? How were they motivated enough to get into the FA Cup final and give a great account of themselves in that game without a secure future or club? Why should it have been different here and why is it different here?
Why is it impossible for the same man to "motivate" more than one or two players here whilst at Pompey his side fought tooth and nail? This whole "motivate" thing doesn't wash.

I'm not saying that Grant is a great manager nor that he hasn't been wrong in his team selections and tactics, but I can't explain how the manager who got footballers with nothing to play for to fight for him last season could have such an opposite effect here?

Hammersfan said...

Good idea Westhamfan12! Although I would like Newcastle involved so we could get Pards back!

I agree 1205. I watched the Pompey v Spurs semifinal and I saw utter commitment from the Pompey mercenaries. I also watched Pompey play Villa, when relegation was as good as guaranteed and Pompey fought for every ball as if their lives depended upon it.

For me, the issue is the absence of leadership and management under Zola. A torpor developed around the club. Grant is open to criticism for not being about to kick life into the club but, without complete restructuring of the squad, I don't know how that is possible.

Anonymous said...

Therefore, how will bringing in a new manager at this stage of the season rectify the problem if the squad itself needs complete restructuring and the owners seem unwilling to fund such a restructuring?

Hammersfan said...

I didn't say it would did I? I said we were down 4 weeks back. Christmas gave me hope but yesterday was a dollop of realism!