Remember when you were at school and you heard rumours that your girlfriend was going to dump you so you got in first and chucked her? Well that seems like a pretty accurate description of what has happened with No Eidur.
The deal was done but No Eidur prevaricated, with his Dad flying in at the last minute so save his son from a fate worse than death, joining West Ham! "Is it a bird, is it a plane, no it's No Eidur's Dad, flying half way around the globe to persuade his son that Iceland has even more in common with Greece - both nations are bankrupt - than with West Ham. 'Son', he says, 'Gab your things I've come to take you home!"
And with No Eidur packing his XXL underpants in his suitcase, Doctor Evil struck! "No!", a voice boomed. "No I will not stand for that! Reject me? Reject Me? I'll give him reject me! I reject him! There, stick that in your Icelandic pipe and smoke it, I reject you! Nah nah nah nah nah. I don't want you! Your dad's a poof, your mum's a whore and you can't kiss anyway! Takes one to know one, he who dealt it smelt it, your sister's a tramp, your brother's a wimp, you're not quite evil enough anyway. Well it's true! It's true! You're semi-evil. You're quasi-evil. You're the margarine of evil. You're the Diet Coke of evil. Just one calorie, not evil enough!"