Sunday 17 July 2011

Allardyce Gets Tough to Save Face

Remember when you were at school and you heard rumours that your girlfriend was going to dump you so you got in first and chucked her? Well that seems like a pretty accurate description of what has happened with No Eidur.

The deal was done but No Eidur prevaricated, with his Dad flying in at the last minute so save his son from a fate worse than death, joining West Ham! "Is it a bird, is it a plane, no it's No Eidur's Dad, flying half way around the globe to persuade his son that Iceland has even more in common with Greece - both nations are bankrupt - than with West Ham. 'Son', he says, 'Gab your things I've come to take you home!"

And with No Eidur packing his XXL underpants in his suitcase, Doctor Evil struck! "No!", a voice boomed. "No I will not stand for that! Reject me? Reject Me? I'll give him reject me! I reject him! There, stick that in your Icelandic pipe and smoke it, I reject you! Nah nah nah nah nah. I don't want you! Your dad's a poof, your mum's a whore and you can't kiss anyway! Takes one to know one, he who dealt it smelt it, your sister's a tramp, your brother's a wimp, you're not quite evil enough anyway. Well it's true! It's true! You're semi-evil. You're quasi-evil. You're the margarine of evil. You're the Diet Coke of evil. Just one calorie, not evil enough!"

6 comments:

the headmaster said...

You may well be right, HF. In my view BFS should never have asked the slag out in the first place, mate!

Hammersfan said...

Spot on!

MJ said...

Very true HF, but now you need to take your medication and lay in a darkened room..... The men in white coats will be there soon.......

USA Dave said...

I had no problem with the attempt to sign him. I would have welcomed it. But I wont be cynical on this one. Good for Sam to tell them to shove it once he learned that another club was suddenly involved. I bet it will effect their position with Athens who would be foolish not to change their deal. Even if Gud came back and said he was just exploring but really wanted us I bet Sam would slam the door in his face.

Anonymous said...

so you would rather he rolled over and left the offer on the table for a player that dosent want to be here? why would anyone choose to play in greece at the moment? he probably won't even get paid! you love to paint everything in the worst possible light. if everything is so negative and if you believe half of what you write you must be miserable, you have no problem turning good news into bad news! i would say don't put yourself through it anymore mate

Hammersfan said...

Erm, even Allardyce admitted he thought it was a done deal until another offer came in. I say I didn't want the guy so I'm pleased the deal fell through don't I?