Tuesday 5 July 2011

West Ham Fans In State of Panic

Be ready for news of West Ham fans throwing themselves off the Queen Elizabeth the Second Bridge when they miss the "last opportunity to renew" their season tickets today. Imagine the horror of missing out on the deal of the century!

Last season you paid your money to see West Ham lose to Man Ud, Chelsea, Birmingham, Arsenal, Villla...well the list is almost endless! But don't forget that victory over Spurs and that thrilling 0-0 draw at home to Blackpool! This season, you can pay exactly the same price to watch West Ham play Doncaster, Peterborough and Mucky-Smith led Brighton and Hove Albion!

It will be like the night before Wimbledon quarter final day on Green Street today. Anxious Hammers fans pitched their tents 24 hours ago and...oh no sorry, the tents are just the temporary homes of illegal immigrants hoping to find work on the Olympic Stadium by channeling a deal sweetener via Karren Brady's contacts!

Business has been "brisk" according to the Official Site so your chances of being able to get your seat are as slim as Dawn French. Remember, Samaritans already have a special extension dedicated to West Ham fans, simply ring up and give the code westhamtilidie... oops, that just takes you through to the gay counselling service!

Remember, don't delay. This could be your last opportunity to see Scotty play for West Ham. Well, it could be your last chance to see Scotty play well for West Ham. At his age, semi retirement is just around the corner but how wonderful would it be to know that your hard earned cash is funding this West Ham legend's retirement pot. Bloody teachers and nurses chasing gold plated £10,000 a year pensions; Scotty's is £83,000 a week!

And Parker and Nolan apart, we may not have a team. But with Kevin and Scotty, who needs nine other players? So get down to the club now and reserve your ticket whilst you still can. The doomsday clock is ticking!

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

Kwevin Manchester writes ..

On the other hand we will be playing Leeds, Forest, Derby, Leicester,B'ham, Portsmouth, Southampton, Middlesbrough, Ipswich and others whom we have met in the past in the top flight -different times i'll grant you and I know who I'd rather be playing but I think the championship is shaping up to be a really good competition this year

Anonymous said...

you're a gay counselling service, begging men to write on your dank toilet wall

Dagenham Dave said...

Pathetic

I can only speak for myself, but I'm sure I'm not a lone voice, I've held my ST for over 25 years and support West Ham through thick and thin. I couldn't give a f*ck who we play as when I go to a game I go to watch West Ham and the fact that I still go with the same blokes that I went with as a kid makes it even better for me

You may go to a game to be delighted by the skills of Rooney, Drogba, Fabregas etc. but then I'd hazard a guess that you're in a minority, then again I very much doubt you actually go to a game.

Anonymous said...

Your not West Ham. You cant be. Why all the pathetic slandering of the very well written westhamtillidie blog. Like i said before your a complete jester & your knocking out shite blogs week in week out. Think about it Son. You should be grateful to newsnow for the 1.000.000 hits...

Anonymous said...

How do you manage to mention Parker in every post?

Hammersfan said...

1103, you still can't spell "you're" I see. Slandering westhamtilIdie? How do I do that exactly?

Actually Dagenham, if you think about it, you may be the pathetic one. I agree with you that I would rsther see West Ham beat Doncaster than see us get stuffed by Man Utd, but ask yourself, how much does the club charge for League Cup tickets against teams from lower divisions? So why, exactly, haven't season ticket prices been reduced for the coming season? I know season ticket holders who were furious by the deals being offered during the season last season - they felt they had been taken been for mugs. Do you think I willl pay full price if I buy my ticket for the Doncaster game on the day? I can't commit to all games so buy on a game by game basis or, as the season before last, on the mini season ticket deal which offered fantastic given my son collected a ticket for 6 crucial games at a cost of just £60, whilst I only paid £180 (£30 per match). So between us, we paid an average £20 each to see 5 Cup Finals and an end of season friendly against Man City. I am not boasting here, I am simply illustrating how the true season ticket holders are shafted by Sullivan & Gold.

Hammersfan said...

How can you talk about West Ham and not mention Mr West Ham 1126?

beelzebub said...

Its all about season tickets sales

sorry this does not fully relate to this subject but i'm pulling my hair out....what are we doing....

OUT

1 - Gabbidon
2 - Dyer
3 - Hitz
4 - Kovac
5 - Upson
6 - McCarthy
7 - Spector
8 - faubert
9 - Ba
10 - Da Costa
11 - Ilunga
12 - Obinna
13 - Keane
14 - Jacobson
15 - Bridge

IN

Faye
Nolan

Likely to go

1 - Parker
2 - Green
3 - Cole
4 - Barrera

Is anyone else missing this ??

GK - Green ? (cover - NONE)
Left back - NONE
Right back - Spence (cover - NONE)
Central - Tomkins and Faye (cover Reed)

Left wing - Barrera ? (cover - NONE)
Right wing - Collison (cover - NONE)
Central - Noble and Nolan (cover - NONE)

Forwards - Cole ??, Piquionne ?? (hines and sears)

Squad cover - Reed (defence), Hines and sears (both forwards)

Seriously...is anyone missing this ???

1 injury and we are fucked !

We are currently being systematically asset striped, how important is premiership football for the Olympic stadium ? or are we just relying on us fans to turn up on mass as we always have and always will !!

I am VERY worried to be at this stage and still seeing the exits not the arrivals.

God i hope im wrong, but as it stands we are in a TOTAL mess and no im not interested in this player was shit and this player got us relegated...we have less players than Portsmouth !! and they are looking at 5 a side football next year !!

What happened to "keeping the spine of the team and adding a couple of new bodies to complement it", what happened to "if you sign to many players they take to much time to gel together and understand each others game", what happened to "we will be the bookies favourite come the start of the season"

Oh i remember.....we wanted to sell fucking season tickets.

The sooner these 3 fucking idiots let go of my club the better

Rant over, concerns remain

Anonymous said...

read it back and try to understand it. I think you'll find it's spelled correctly.

Hammersfan said...

You wrote:

Your not West Ham. You cant be. Why all the pathetic slandering of the very well written westhamtillidie blog. Like i said before your a complete jester & your knocking out shite blogs week in week out. Think about it Son. You should be grateful to newsnow for the 1.000.000 hits...

You should have written:

You're (You are) not West Ham. You can't be. Why all the pathetic slandering of the very well written westhamtillidie blog? Like I said before, you're (you are) a complete jester & you're (you are) knocking out shite blogs week in week out. Think about it son. You should be grateful to Newsnow for the 1,000,000 hits...

Alternatively, News Now should be grateful to me. News International want them to pay to carry their content. Without authors / contributors, News Now is dead as it is simply a platform. Mind you, News Now are grateful that you come here via their platform. The more traffic, the higher their advertising revenues.

I haven't slandered westhamtillIdie. You make the link, not me.

Hammersfan said...

I agree Lord of the Flies. Two early signings and then nothing. Season ticket holders will be asked to rock up with their boots at this rate!

Anonymous said...

Wow! been away for four days and it's great to see on my return that you're getting caned more than usual - how delicious, and long may it continue = you really are awful and as far as I can see you have very few fans.

Hammersfan said...

But as soon as you are back, you can't wait to look in! The hits keep growing. That's the power of unpopularity! That's the power of The Game!

jimwhu said...

good article hf we are so f..k..g prvilaged the dildo brothers and there very kind offers for season tickets to see all the s..t teams come to westham next season and your missing out the great offer of buying the shirts and the great deal of paying for the new shirts a month in advance the third different home shirt in 3 years and the stupid c..ts will make them half price or less by christmas and not forgetting the last shirt has the special quality of the sponsers name falling off after a few washes quality or what or piss take more likely BEELZIBUB agree with all what you put down yours werent a rant its the f..k..g truth one thing hf if people dont like your blogs and think so highley of westham til i die why dont they just stick to westham til i die good article hf keep taking the pils

John said...

Bit mystified about the suggestion of asset stripping. So far 4 mill paid out and a hefty wage for Nolan. Big Sam didn't come cheap and nobody of note sold. Admit a lot saved on wages for the departed loan and end of contract crew, but how many of those other than Baa did we really want to keep? and it appears big efforts were made to keep Baa.

tommyd2nd4th said...

Have to disagree with you here fanno, I pay to watch West Ham not to watch the opposition. I wouldn't care if I was paying the same price to watch Man U as it was to watch Accrington Stanley. It's all about West Ham for me.